faithfulness - what do you think of a partner who doesnt take it seriously?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by antihero, Feb 4, 2008.

  1. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Reading the cheating thread made me think about my own situation.

    My GF is just not the convincing about believing in fidelity. She literally laughs about it 90% of the time. :ugh: The other day she said something about me cheating on her just joking around and I say "hey, you are definitely the shady one in this relationship" and she says "noooo.. i would never cheat on you. :rofl:" my buddy and I both look at her and :squint: and he asks her what all the :rofl: is about. She says she would never cheat on me because I'm so great no one could compare :ugh2:

    this weird sort of "i would never cheat on you... <insert inappropriate laughter>" thing has happened just about every time the subject has come up. Ive even asked her about it and she always elaborates some sketchy answer about how she loves me and doesn't want anyone else, or some other very transient reason to that effect that leads to the logical conclusion that if she’s bored or angry with me, or someone new and shiny pops up, I should be seriously concerned.

    her past indicates that i should be somewhat concerned.

    Now here is the weird part. I trust her completely. We have a very good relationship and spend a lot of time together, so motivation and opportunity are both low. By the same token, if we had a disagreement and spent a weekend apart, or if she goes to the Bahamas with the girls like she’s talking about, it seems that even on a purely logical level I should be :noes:'ing the whole time.

    on the other hand, she has never done anything to arouse even a hint of suspicion. I don't snoop on her, but she without a second though, told me her email/myspace/facebook pass. Its just the weird way she talks about it and her history that concern me.

    would you be concerned?

    Update:

    stupid bitch fucked some guy from work. just found out now. Im pretty sure this clinches meeting this girl as the worst thing that ever happened to me, and me staying with her as the dumbest thing I ever did.
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2010
  2. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    i think id cheat on them preemptively
     
  3. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    install a keylogger, you are smarter than her remember?
     
  4. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Maybe she finds the idea of cheating on you so ridiculous that it's funny to her. :dunno:

    Who knows? If she hasn't slipped up, even once, then it sounds to me like you are just reading into shit and a tad insecure.
     
  5. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    The thing is I do trust her. She has never given me any reason to doubt and I think i'd probably be right if i said she has never done anything... Im more looking at it from a logical standpoint. I trust her completely because i believe her 100% that she says shes completely into me and no one else can compare, etc etc, but if those are the only reasons she doesn't cheat, then I should be concerned since those things can be fleeting, unlike personal integrity. maybe?
     
  6. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I would be blown away if there was anything there. I'm just thinking about the future.
     
  7. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    actions speak louder than words, so if you feel in your gut that you trust her, and she doesn't act shady, then i wouldn't worry too much. however, if it bothers you, i'd just ask her about it seriously one time. nothing bad could come of the conversation :dunno:
     
  8. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I did. I outright told her that I thought it was somewhat concerning the she seems to think its funny everytime it comes up, and she reassured me. Of course, the next time it comes up, she does it again even my buddy is like "whats up with that laugh?" which is the exact same thing I think every time she does it.
     
  9. All the bitches say that.
     
  10. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Well you just answered your own question; she has a history of it? she gives you transient immature answers, and you sense that your her frail fidelity hangs on the fact that right now 'all is fine and dandy'... A relationship goes through ups and downs, you should not only judge it and its fruitfulness by the good times, but most importantly by the bad-times, and how you are both able to cope, over come, or succumb.

    Good luck.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    As someone who expects and has made it known they want only a monogamous relationship....yes.
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    i trust my gut and instincts. If I'm getting a shady feeling (and not just a one time thing, but a general read) from a girl, I'm going to end the relationship. I'm not going to just sit there and wait for something to happen. Ad if i'm having doubts, I'm not in the best relationship I could be in.
     
  13. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    i think it was the pua Mehow who basically said you know she won't cheat on you when she recognizes situations where dudes are getting her buying temperature all pumped, and then actively REMOVES herself from these situations. because otherwise it is possible she will cheat while in that state (humans - men and women - are very bad decision makers when in a strong emotional state)
     
  14. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Yeah, thats a REALY solid point. A girlfriend of mine has cheated on every boyfriend she has. She always tried to get me to go to bars with her, get guys to buy us drinks, etc. I always said no because I don't want to put myself in a situation (drinks+men) where it would be more likely. I do know, that my morals, however strong, don't hold up if i'm blacked out and being pressured.
    I went with her once, and it was fun getting a 150 tab paid for, but it was disgusting, I felt purchased, and these guys kept coming over and making passes at us. I told her I was sick so we could leave. I was so, man, i've never felt that dirty in my life.
     
  15. io

    io New Member

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    uh deciding something about her character because she fucking GIGGLES is stupid. I do this too. And make jokes about it. It means -nothing-. The fact that you can't handle it, though, seems to show that you really can't communicate well with each other, or don't understand her sense of humour. This girl is so secure with you she can be easy-going during serious conversations regarding your relationship... combined with the fact that there is ZERO suspicious activity, you have nothing to worry about.

    eta: stop using the word logical as well. you aren't making any sense !
     
  16. T-R-T

    T-R-T New Member

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    I joke with my gf all the time about cheating. Like she'll ask me what I was doing yesterday or why I didn't pick up her call and I'll say something like "oh I was with my other gf." We always laugh about it. :dunno:
     
  17. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Im using the word logical, because logically she has repeated on multiple occasions that the reason she doesnt cheat is because she doesnt feel like it, where I'm kind of hoping that she wouldnt cheat even if she did feel like it.
     
  18. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    maybe there is maybe there isnt. you wont know til you do it.
     
  19. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    He makes perfect sense. What you are saying doesn't though. Why the hell would you giggle about something like that? There's nothing funny about cheating and it's pretty shitty if you can't be serious for a few minutes about such an important topic. Are you so immature that you can't handle having a serious conversation without giggling like a little kid?

    Antihero, I would be very worried about how she acts, especially if she has cheated in the past. Giving you passwords to things really doesn't mean that much. Only an idiot would leave evidence of cheating on there anyway.
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: my friend
     
  21. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

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    I know theres nothing "funny" about cheating, but relax man. IMO, until she gives you any reason to doubt her OTHER than the way she 'giggles' about it, dont worry.
     
  22. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    To me...this is just to throw you off and make you feel more secure. Like who would do this if they were really going to cheat on me??

    Oh wait, isn't that what you implied? :ugh2:
    Yes, very.

    I agree with Midgetized. It is a serious subject and it's nothing to joke about. Me? I don't put up with those kinds of jokes at all. They aren't funny, can cause serious doubts and may very well be precursors to cheating.

    To me, it doesn't matter her reasons. If a girl starts this kind of communication, it's usually not too long before I move on.
     
  23. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    You guys jumped on the assumption that what he said about her past giving him reason to doubt her faithfulness without him actually explaining why he said that.
     
  24. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    He said it because...ummm...it's relevant?
     
  25. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    He never actually SAID that this girl has cheated in the past though and people are assuming that she has.

    He just said that "things from her past lead him to believe it" or something like that. That could mean ANYTHING and without an explanation, I don't think people should be jumping to the conclusion that she's cheated in the past, because I think that if she HAD he would've outright said it.
     

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