SRS failing friendship

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Mars Princess, Feb 28, 2005.

  1. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    Iam not sure if I am taking things too seriously or what but lately I have felt kind of abandoned and rejected by a friend of mine that I have had for the past five years. We have been through quite a lot together. He's confessed things to me and I have ocnfessed things to him. He's seen me breakdown and I've helped him through his troubles. We've also gone on roadtrips, gone to music shows together, hung out at home, had more than a few good laughs, and just remained a very important part of each other's lives: until now.

    He has to work a lot and the hours he works causes him to be asleep for a good portion of the day so it has been hard to get in touch with him for the past year or two. We used to hang out a lot more than we do now , which is never. We used to talk on AIM a lot and talk on the phone, but this had dried up to an every blue moon thing. He joined myspace at the suggestion of af riend and to promote his music and his DJing and now he has a lot of fans -- he's connected with people in Austin. I visit his profile every now and again to hear something he has uploaded and to check in, and I see that he has a lot of fans, especially girl fans.

    I used to really like him and we dated for a little bit, but have since remained fairly platonic. I recently read of a "fun time" he had with two myspae females he hooked up with after a gig, and it just made me mad. I had called him this weekend seeing if he wanted to do something, but he had already made plans. I don't know anything about his life anymore. That's not to say that I've been stalking him or anything. We just used to share a lot with one another

    I feel like I am being shut out little by little. Should I take the hint or am I looking too hard into this? I feel like giving up on him , but it is so hard to walk away from someone who at one time said I was his family

    :wtc:

    Have you guys found yourselves drifting from friends only to become stronger friends later on, at some point? I don't need to spend every waking moment with my friend, but it would be nice to know he is still interested in being my friend. He doesnt' act like it or put in the effort
     
  2. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    I think we all go through phases and have different people in our lives during those phases. My husband and I had a great group of friends and we hung out and did stuff all the time. Then after a few years some people kinda faded out of the picture but still pop up once in awhile. We got married 1½ years ago and life is busy as ever forus. Some are busy with work (2 have their own businesses), another's getting married with and already has a baby on the way, another is busy with school and deciding if he wants to go to school out of state etc etc.

    Perhaps your friend has interests elsewhere or has a lot going on that keeps him busy. It would be nice if people kept in touch more often but sometimes you get caught up in your life.

    If he doesnt act interested or doesn't put effort into the friendship, let him go and find some new people to have new good times with. But make sure to leave the friedship door open to him.

    I've noticed in my own personal life it seems I am in a new group of friends every 2 years or so :dunno:
     
  3. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    I know life is about transition. I just wish my friend would transition with me, instead of apart from me. :( I've seen other friends go about their lives and I haven't cared near as much. This person is someone extremely special to me. If he was just an aqquaintance, I wouldn't have even posted this. He's pledged that he would die for me and so I'm taking his prolonged absence personally.

    At first I saw this as his life changing for the better and just evolving differently from mine (it happens) but i see him making time for other things and people. It doesn't make much sense in light of what he has told me in the past, but I think I'm going to take you up on the advice to keep the door of friendship open.
     
  4. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    i'd agree that it might just be a phase, there was a time a couple years back where me and my best friend began to distance from each other. It was mainly due to the fact that there was just so much going on in our own lives that there wasnt as much time, not because we were trying to avoid the other. Well since then we have come back together and have an even stronger bond now than we did before. Sometimes real life just gets in the way of everything else.
     
  5. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    I know what you mean. I've had friends in my life that I envisioned we would always be around each other, if we had kids, our kids would play together and the adults would gather round the BBQ etc etc...but those people are either long gone or closer to being an aquaintance than gone.

    Then I have one friend where he and I went to high school together back in 89-90. We hung out in different crowds but we had a class together and were class buddies. After he gradutated (2 years before me) I never saw him or heard from him anymore....10 years later he and my husband met thru a mutual friend, and now this guy, who I never thought would cross my life path again, is one of our best friends. the killer is, for many of the 10 years we never had contact, he lived just up the street from me by a ½ mile :hsd: but we just never ran into each other.

    The important thing is to keep yourself happy, find some new people you can have a good time with, and then if destiny decides to bring this friend back in to your life, then perhaps the 2nd go round at friendship will be better/stronger :)
     
  6. inferno8ball

    inferno8ball 190 proof Everclear + MD Amped energy d

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    iu had a friend much like you. we became friends during highschool. now we are both well into college. i told her the other week that i want nothing to do with her (long story), but basically i told her that i am no longer going to be a puppy to her, thats around when she wants me to be and such.

    atleast you havnt had a falling out. i dont believe he is purposly pushing you out. people just change, and with taht change the things around them.

    with the example of me and my friend, one thing i wont forget are the good times we have had. maybe sometime in the future ill try and rebuild the bridge between us. so be gracious for the memories you have with him, and dont get hung on the situation either.
     
  7. Sounds like he's growing, changing, and drifting away. I think it's time to find new friends.
     
  8. I experience that all the time. I find no reason to hold onto people. They'll either be in my life or they won't. I drift away from people too, but then again - most of my relationships are built on the fact that people contact me. I'm usually always in the same place doing the same thing: Recovering from illness at home.
     

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