SRS Existential despair?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Rellik, Jun 1, 2009.

  1. Rellik

    Rellik New Member

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    I don't whether or not this should be a thread for On-Topic or here, but do you ever get that feeling that you're seeing yourself as an outsider? I got it once when I was watching TV as a kid. Not too long ago I got some pretty strong dissociative feelings with weed and salvia - imagine seeing yourself as such as another cog, just another ant in the anthill, and this life you have, this is it. An extremely unpleasant feeling.

    I guess it makes me wonder about life. Logically we all know that we're all just molecules that through methods beyond our understanding somehow managed to bunch together and create an entity, and that in the end that entity will "die" and the molecules will be redistributed. I find this terrifying. The triviality of it all. I feel like I'm losing my faith - and now I've read about some other fucked up shit: Imagine that some posthuman civilization got so technologically advanced that it just runs "ancestor simulations" (read: us) for fun. All the time I spend watching TV, or movies, or playing video games - then I imagine zooming out a bit more where something else is just watching or playing me. Striclty speaking, we really don't know jack shit, and anything could be possible.

    What is life? What is existance? Okay - even if it turns out to be religion, or if its a Matrix, or it doesn't mean anything at all, I guess the thing that bothers me the most is this feeling of being "stuck" - I don't enjoy who I am very much, and I'll never be able to experience existance through the eyes and feelings and thoughts of anyone else. This is it.
     
  2. not your average

    not your average      ¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ OT Supporter

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  3. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    Well that's what you get for using Salvia. Have you read any existentialist books? Sartre?

    I can't give you an answer but the only way out is acceptance that there is no higher purpose to anything outside of what we make in our minds and as a society.

    Really, you have to find this mindset freeing to move on, and it is. You aren't 100% stuck in anything. It's hard to change who you are as an adult but it can be done with significant events in your life and resolving an existential crisis is one of them. Then you have to anchor your life with purposes that make you happy or that are positive.

    Would you be happier if you knew that your entire life was made for one purpose or that you got to choose your own purpose? What I like about this mindset is that the odds that I exist right now and am able to do the things I am, feel the things I do, impact others that are in the same boat, etc... are infinitely small. So no matter how shitty life gets, I am still living a life. And I won't get this chance ever again so I can't waste it. Then all the little things and axieties that hold you back seem like nothing. Go talk to that girl, visit the boss of that place you want to work at, even if you aren't qualified, forgive shitheads from your past, etc... It's hedonistic in a sense but you end up a better person for it and I find that you end up helping others more.

    In short, don't worry about it and the rest will work itself out.
     
  4. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    fear of the unknown. everyone has it, and it wrecks a lot of lives with few realizing it. I lived a lot of life wondering a lot of the stuff you have said, and some. but one day i woke up and realized that it was only wonder. i could choose how i wanted to carry out my life. Now it is hard seeing so many people suffering the way they do, even close loved ones.


    this probably has no relevance to the purpose of the topic, but it came to mind when i read your post. It is up to you to wonder what you want to wonder i say
     
  5. *RARA*

    *RARA* New Member

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    i've gone through it.


    but even if this is it. This or nothingness. This is pretty damn good.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Life is what you make of it, and the real meaning of life is to love and help others, however i personally am also an anti-existentionalist. Afteral no existance = no problems. But in the event that you are obliged to exist(which seemingly is the case) the only thing you can do is try to make the most of it vs going down the drain. Getting rid of the misery in your life and filling it with positive things you can at least live a happy life, and having an everlasting happy life even if its meaningless is at least a positive experience. It is not justified because it lacks the validation of it being a goal orientated finish,but as you said we're stuck with it, wether we like it or not, so just make the best of it.
     

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