Example of chick logic/drama

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, May 15, 2007.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I found some old emails from my ex (my psycho ex, not the logical exes I sometimes mention). I'm bored so I thought I'd post a summary here for the Vag cuz we all like chick logic here.

    One weekend my GF and I both went home to visit our parents. I had plans to go back to meet her back at apartment on Sunday evening after we were both done at our parents' and spend the night there. Ok so she txts me and is like:

    Her: "what time are you leaving?" (meaning leaving my parents' house to get go to her place).
    Me:"8 or 9." (I had some stuff to do and then I was going to eat dinner with my parents. She lived like 45-60 min away.)

    Like 2 hours later, she replies with

    Her: "don't you think that's a bit late? I'm not running a hotel here." (wtf bitchy)
    Her again: "You only come here cuz it's a convenience for you" (wtf random)
    Me: "I'm eating dinner with my parents and that's what time I'll be able to leave."
    Her: "Well then forget about coming over. I have to go to bed early, anyway."
    Me: "Ok" (I mean seriously, if she's going to bed I don't want to wake her up. It wasn't a huge deal if I didn't go over there. we saw each other like 5 nights a week, anyway, so 1 day wasn't a huge deal).

    (a few minutes pass)

    Her: "Just don't bother coming over anymore. If I wanted 2 see u, i wouldn't b rude and show up at 10 at nite."

    (she's pissed cuz she wanted a reaction when she told me not to come over. she wanted me to beg or something, I think. she always tried to play power games. so when I replied with "ok," it pissed her off cuz she didn't get the response she wanted)

    Her again: "You said you'd come over tonight. Not 10 at nite. That's rude. If I mean anything to u (which I don't) you would want to c me... not show up when it's convenient 4 u"

    (wtf pulling drama out of thin air)

    Me: "You asked what time I would be able to leave and I gave you my answer." (silly me, giving a logical answer to a chick's question)

    Her again: "Why would you be so rude as to say ur coming at 10 at nite? do I look like a fucking hotel? am i just a convenience 4 u?"

    (note that inappropriate f-bombs are really unattractive)

    Her again: "Why would it take you so long? I'd have everything packed and ready to go so I could see you."

    Me: "I am going to eat dinner with my family and I won't be done until 8-9ish. Since that's too late, I just won't come over tonight. You told me to 'forget it' already, anyway"

    I hate it when people say things they don't mean, and chicks/GFs are no exception. Don't tell me to "forget about coming over" if that's not what you really want. And don't get pissed when I do "forget about coming over" then.

    So I'm getting ready to have dinner with my family, and I get this txt:

    Her: If u can b 2 my place at 9 then ur more than welcome to. Any later, forget it.

    (didn't she already say "forget it," anyway?)

    Now aside from the fact that her last text was rude, I don't like being spoken to like I'm a child, and I really don't like ultimatums, I replied again with:

    Me: "I'm about to eat. I can't gaurantee that I'd get there by 9. But u already said 'forget it,' so I'll just come over some other time." (honestly, it wasn't a big deal, and if she had to go to bed early I really didn't want to inconveneince her)

    Her: "Whatever. I tried 2 give u a chance but u fail once again"

    (lol where the fuck did that come from :rofl:)

    Her: "Next time we schedule something, I won't promise 2 b available. i'll just say, so maybe i'll c u, maybe i won't"

    (she had issues with immaturity and spitefullness... and she was 26).

    (keep in mind I'm not replying here cuz I'm eating)

    Her: ur the one making a big deal here. But if u gave a shit, u'd try 2 get here early but its clear u don't

    (when she got upset, she'd accuse me of "not giving a shit")

    Her: "U obviously don't care and don't want 2 try 2 see me so y would i want 2 c u?"

    Her: "Fine. Ignore me. that doesn't surprise me, either."

    (lol wtf I was eating dinner, sorry I don't keep my phone on when I tell you ahead of time I'm eating with my family. So I found this string of txts in my inbox after I finished eating)

    Her: "I'm not sure whta kind of games ur tryiing 2 play but it's annoying and mostly immature. but that's ur style."

    (omg :rofl: what do they call it in psych when you project your traits onto someone else?)

    Her: "I don't want 2 be with someone who breaks plans."

    (finally I finish eating. I reply):

    Me: "Nice txt flood there. I didn't break plans. U told me to 'forget about coming over.' Don't say things you don't mean."

    Then, later that night, at like 11pm (and she said 10pm was too late for me to get there, but she's still up at 11pm... ok)

    Her: Im not mad u didn't come over. It was clear u didn't want 2. In that case I have better things 2 do than spend time w someone who doesn't want 2 see me

    (lol, clear I didn't want to? I was planning on it until she told me not to come. Psycho chick logic)

    After that she sent me a few more insulting txts (totally immature and disrespectful, and a big DLV for women, btw), and I finally replied with:

    Me: "Alright. I don't appreciate the insults. I'm going to bed soon. Goodnight."

    She replied back with some more bitchy stuff that I got the next morning when I woke up.

    Only a chick would tell you to not come over and then get pissed because you don't.

    Do you see why this relationship ended? Something like this happened at least once a week.
     
  2. Been there done that, all I can say is thankfully we are both out of our hell. By the way, I can actually say I feel for you on this one.


    Beast
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    btw, with two mature people, the conversation could have gone one of two ways:

    Guy: I'll leave at 8 or 9.
    Girl: Well, that's kinda late... Can you get here any earlier?
    Guy: I'm going to eat with my family tonight so probably not. I don't wanna promise an early time and not get there on time.
    Girl: Well, I have to go to bed early. Just come over tomorrow then, instead.
    Guy: Ok, have a good night.

    or

    Guy: I'll leave at 8 or 9
    Girl: Well, that's kinda late, but it's ok. I don't wanna stay up too late, tho. I'll see you around 9-10.
    Guy: Ok, see you in a bit.

    Maturity is what I miss :(
     
  4. I don't miss anything from my past relationships, too bad. Falconer, you're asking too much from women in general.
     
  5. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    And.....? You made the choice to date that nutcase. It's funny how you complain about chicks liking assholes yet you are the guy version of that. You complain about chicks that act like that yet you decide to date one :mepoke:
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Until I realized what a nutcase she was.

    edit - she was very hot, was awesome in bed, and had a high sex drive. I admit that that's part of the reason I stayed with her longer than I should.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I miss a few things. The AMAZING felatio abilities of one ex. The wonderfully rational mind of another. The fact that another one was the most flexible giver you could meet (altho she wasn't exactly what I wanted physically... proving again what matters most to men), and the sex drive of the psycho I mentioned in this thread.
     
  8. I would have been glad to have one of those, mine was off her rocker and highly insecure, she dragged me down like no other.
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Ugh. I saved a record of all that psycho shit as a reminder so that if I see it start to happen again in a future relationship I know to bail out earlier.

    But DAMN she was hot.
     
  10. I keep a record of all the psycho shit for other reasons (not in the mood to disclose the reasons), but damn you need to get over her. She was psycho, I don't care how hot she was, she was psycho, move on falconer.
     
  11. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    :werd: Dude, I'm right there with you on that one... How the hell did I manage to fuck up a relationship where the girl loved sucking cock and did it without request? :wtc:

    Breaks my heart. Everyday I realize more and more that the things I miss are purely sexual. I don't miss cuddling. I miss easy access to BJs.
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Seriously. It's become a requirement. Must enjoy giving and receiving oral sex. There is nothing worse than an unenthusiastic bj. And I love going down on chicks, too, so I couldn't be with one of those girls who wasn't into it (I've met a few).
     
  13. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Oh look! Falconer is talking about an ex...again!

    I know you're trying to be helpful to others, but anyone out of high school knows what chick drama is like. You've only really succeeded in getting your mind on the past again.

    Who gives a fuck about your ex? She's your rx, you don't have to worry about her. Worry about how you're going to try to meet some new women today, or how you are going to ask out the next girl, etc.

    Stop looking backward and keep moving forward!

    (and I'm turning into an inspirational poster...I can see that quote on the wall of a school...)
     
  14. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Yeah I think we all know what it is like. I did the same thing you did and gave no reaction to stuff I know she was looking for a reaction.
     
  15. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    There's something called "projective identification" that I saw in one of my psychology class which reflects more or less what happened. She tried to make you feel a certain way so that she can get the role that she wants.
    Here's an explanation of projective identification and then another quote with different types of dyads. Note that it's not necessarily a good idea to try to find out if the person uses projective identification or what kind of dyad it is, knowing if you have to bail of the relationship is more than enough.

     
  16. Falconer, I'm going to take a major shot at you here. After reading all these books, you have become less secure in yourself than you were before. I was reading a few of your posts from a year ago and you seem to be more secure then than you are now. So my advice to you is stop thinking and start acting. Also stop making excuses.

    Beast
     
  17. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    This advice has been given to him over and over and over. It just doesn't seem to sink in
     
  18. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    hahah i know a girl just like that. its actually a really good example.
     
  19. Well anytime he posts from this point forward that will be my response.

    Beast
     
  20. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    Hey, not to sympathize with the crazy chick, but that was an extreme example of how many women feel in relationships. Guys are so non-chalant about things, and we mistake it for uncaring and unfeeling, which we are not. I have definitely don't something similar where I was counting on my SO to come over, more than that, waiting for him to come, and he would just call and say "Yeah, I have a lot of shit to do. See you tomorrow?". Rationally, most of the time I would be like "Kay, good luck, call me", but sometimes, there are other things happening in my life and I just don't want to deal with random rejection (which is how we see it sometimes).

    I think this girl probably was a bit psycho, but I can see where she was coming from; she didn't feel prioritized. And when she was digging to see if you actually did want to see her and prioritize her (not saying that is right...) you didn't come through and it hurt her feelings. Again, not saying she was in the right, but saying that she was also just human, feeling lonely and abandoned, probably wanted some sex and contact, and it didn't happen. She was disappointed and it came out completely wrong, she attacked you.

    Better off without that type, but still, I'm a pretty good gf and I have done that type of thing on occasion... sometimes, life just sucks.

    Agreeing with Matt though... what was the point of this post? Not all women suck, if that is what you are saying.

    DA
     
  21. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    *applauds*


    But that girl still isn't quite right. It seemed your relationship with her would have ended sooner or later.. and rather sooner then later.
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Really? I feel much better now than I did a year ago.

    And I didn't make this post cuz I was pining over my ex or anything. I just posted it up cuz I thought it would lead to good discussion, and it did.
     
  23. You need to stop thinking about things and physically start acting. Don't make excuses, just do it.

    Beast
     
  24. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    now your post is perfect.
     
  25. cd7

    cd7 how troublesome

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    hahah psycho bitch
     

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