SRS Ex will not leave me alone

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by kds, Aug 26, 2008.

  1. kds

    kds New Member

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    I've just broken up with my boyfriend of two years and it's understandable that he could be taking it hard. But he won't stop ringing or texting and now he's saying he's going to wait for me outside my work to force me to speak to him.

    I just don't want to see him, it's over and that's that. How do I get him to just leave me alone and not bloody stalk me?

    There's also the fact that if I see him I know I'll weaken and give him another chance because I don't like seeing him hurt. I don't want this to happen.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    These kind of things usually happen when there's an abrupt stop of the relationship and the partner cannot find 'closure' to the whole situation. Usually meaning they need a good reason plus explanation on why you ended it. You basically try to criminalize him as a stalker, But you don't understand it at all how hard he's been taking it, nor the influence your actions have on someone's mind that will try to pursuade them to try to talk to you again. That what you call stalking can actually be caused by both sides. I'll give you an example.

    A girl walks alone at night thru a dangerous street, she gets robbed and raped.

    The robbing and raping of course is criminal act ,and without question that should never happend to her. But her dangerous behaviour has put her in that position in the first place.

    I think you therefore need to re-evaluate your own behaviour in life/relationships so that you don't put yourself into dangerous situations.

    Anyway my advice in this is proper closure: You don't have confront him, you can just send him one e-mail with the text ITS OVER!!!

    Then put in a quick explanation of why, and after that cease all contact. Because actually sending him a message isn't such a good idea because it re-candles contact, but i feel he has to receive a message in which he is informed of why it ended , and also be discouraged of contacting you again. Definitly cease all contact,and call the police if things get dangerous.
     
  3. kds

    kds New Member

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    Thanks for replying. He knows it's over and I've explained it to him a couple of times. I'm trying to cease contact completely but that's where he comes in saying he's going to wait outside my workplace.

    I don't see how my behaviour can cause someone to force me to see them though.

    I don't want to be cold-hearted bu I really just want him to leave me alone.
     

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