ex wants to be friends...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Redliner7, Aug 5, 2007.

  1. Redliner7

    Redliner7 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2005
    Messages:
    740
    Likes Received:
    0
    Do you guys ever remain friends with someone you were romantically involved in? Especially if you liked her a whole lot, quite possibly even have 'loved' her?

    We ended it a month ago, and i hadn't talked to her at all -- and now she txts me tonight saying she misses me and wants to be friend's still. I miss her greatly, but I see no reason to come back into this, if I'm only going to be friends. I know what I want, and know what I deserve. And it's not a goddamn friendship...but damn do i miss her.

    help :o
     
  2. L Jay

    L Jay OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2007
    Messages:
    6,748
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    no.
     
  3. Hyudra

    Hyudra New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2002
    Messages:
    1,077
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CT/NYC
    Do what you think is right. Don't compromise your integrity by what anyone deems correct. We're all here to give you options.
     
  4. Raggity Man

    Raggity Man Lets share the milk of human kindness

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2004
    Messages:
    462
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cleveland
    i didnt talk to my ex for like 2 weeks and then she came back and wanted to be friends. i was still used to having her as a g/f so when i saw her making out with other dudes i let it get to me i had to cut it off with her, i dont need stupid shit like that bugging me. but thats just my pansy ass, i have still yet to talk to my previous ex's. so i guess what im saying is that not being friends is easier, but it depends on if you can handle your feelings and emotions so that you can have a decent friendship.
     
  5. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2006
    Messages:
    3,545
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    East Bay, California
    Dude, I'm just getting out of that chapter. Don't do it.

    DON'T

    DO

    IT


    No matter how much you miss her

    You'll regret it, I promise.


    You've been warned



    PS DONT FUCKING DO IT
     
  6. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    yes, but after a couple years of no contact, and even then it's pretty superficial.
     
  7. Insert Tokens

    Insert Tokens Making Cancer My Bitch OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    8,330
    Likes Received:
    76
    Location:
    Tasmania
    .

    I made this mistake recently. Never again. :hs:
     
  8. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    dude, this is like the golden rule in the book of dating: cut all contact with exes.
     
  9. Chris90210

    Chris90210 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2004
    Messages:
    22,530
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah
    Abort Abort Abort
     
  10. fray

    fray New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    5,282
    Likes Received:
    0
    the more you think you miss her and may have loved her, the worse of an idea it is to try to be friends.
     
  11. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 12, 2004
    Messages:
    5,065
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit-ish
    /thread. Where's the issue?

    I've tried it both ways and the friends way doesn't work. It's been 8 years since my first serious girlfriend and I were together. Just recently have we both been able to be around each other with no feelings for each other and just hang out. 8 years...that's 96 months. To try being friends with her ever isn't going to work. If your paths cross again years down the road than so be it, but you're her ex and that isn't ever going to change. Even if you get back together with her for another failed round of dating, you'll still be the guy she got back together with. There's a reason you're broken up with her right now. Regardles of who did it and why, there is a reason and you need to let it be.
     
  12. Atheist

    Atheist oh, hi OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2003
    Messages:
    5,360
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UP, Michigan
    .
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    The less serious your relationship/feelings for her, the easier you can be friends.

    I am friends with only one "ex," and we were never even really bf/gf, most just like FWB. Now we talk online on an almost daily basis, and hang out occasionally, too. She's dating someone else now and I don't care.

    All of my other exes I cannot be friends with. I know that seeing them, much less hanging out with them, would trigger old feelings.

    So my advice to you is, if on a scale of 1 to 10, you were emotionally involved with her at a level higher than 2.5, do not be friends with her.
     
  14. dew

    dew Banned

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2005
    Messages:
    47,656
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MIA
    FUCK THAT SHIT srsly.
     
  15. Bacaa

    Bacaa New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Danger! Danger Will Robinson! It happened to me recently as well, wont ever do that again..
     
  16. jpolakowski

    jpolakowski New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2006
    Messages:
    188
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah don't do it you'll just end up with a storm cloud over your head. I don't really want you to get into why the relationship ended but I'm guessing it wasn't a bad breakup.
     
  17. Kortiz-DZ

    Kortiz-DZ Resident Nigerian Lipper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2006
    Messages:
    11,293
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northeastern Indiana
  18. Propaganda

    Propaganda New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    729
    Likes Received:
    0
    I fell into this trap. Just don't do it man.
     
  19. Kortiz-DZ

    Kortiz-DZ Resident Nigerian Lipper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2006
    Messages:
    11,293
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northeastern Indiana
    I'm just getting over this trap....that was set over 2 years ago...
     
  20. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 12, 2004
    Messages:
    5,065
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit-ish
    The first one takes a while to realize it then get out. After that it goes a little quicker. You realize being an "ass hole" by not talking to her is really the best alternative. That's why dating someone you have mutual friends with is a pain in the dick sometimes.
     
  21. Redliner7

    Redliner7 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2005
    Messages:
    740
    Likes Received:
    0
    She ended it on me. It was back and forth for awhile before it was final. It's was an LDR, but we got along great when she was home...finally it was too much for her so she broke it...

    Last night, I txt'd "busy, talk later" ...

    And I haven't txt'd her back since. No need to think about it until she txts/calls/emails. If and when she does, I'll set the record straight. That there's no reason to be friends...I have enough friends, and I want to be more than friends with her. I wanted more.
     
  22. Nitin

    Nitin OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2005
    Messages:
    4,972
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    New Delhi, India
    Don't do it man. Last thing I'd ever do is become "friends" with an ex. There's no fucking point in that and nothing good can come of it.
     
  23. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Vag gurus, that a good line? To say "No, I already have enough friends..." or something along those lines?
     
  24. nerd9

    nerd9 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2004
    Messages:
    5,874
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    the point is to be firm and strong. most spineless SOBs would cave in but dropping that line on her will sting her and show her that you're not a pushover faggot

    :bigthumb:
     
  25. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2005
    Messages:
    4,692
    Likes Received:
    0
    I just got back from college and my ex is trying to make contact again. I'm not really feeling it either. From the start I wanted sex, but now it's just no. I can't really see it working. It's more pain than worth enduring. Hopefully I can stand my ground till I get back to school.
     

Share This Page