Ex-gf wants me back.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Hawkal, May 31, 2007.

  1. Hawkal

    Hawkal dammit,wtf? OT Supporter

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    Sooooo, huuuuge self-esteem booster when the girl that dumps you comes back a couple weeks later telling you how stupid she was, and how she wants you back.


    Long story, get a nice comfy chair.

    We dated for two and a half years. We lost our virginities to each other. First relationship for either of us. Started in high school, so yes, we're young.

    I went to Taiwan for six weeks. I met a lovely girl there, we hung out a lot, were really close, did not go past first base with her, did not tell my gf. (This is my guilt statement.)

    I'm back in the states. While I was gone, she'd picked up a MUD, and was very active with it. It seems like she was chatting with some guy from it, they were getting engaged in game, cool, I trust her, no big deal. But I gradually become exposed to how much she really talks to this guy. But it's all online, no problem right? She develops feelings for him. I'm pretty pissed, tell her to break it off, she doesn't, so I dump her, telling her about the girl in Taiwan while I'm at it :doh:.

    A week after, I'm sick of having lost my other half, so I ask her out. She misses me, so we're back. Big mistake. I insist that she stop talking to this guy, he's only online, so she can cut off contact easy, yes? But she has this whole bit about it not being fair to him, and how she doesn't want to hurt either of us. After a few weeks of ups and downs, she dumps me. Facebook (omg, are you serious) says she's in a "complicated relationship" with that guy some nine hours later (turns out he insisted on it).

    At this point, I think it's over. I cry over the weekend, feel crappy for a nice while, tons of support from my friends. I'm moving on. Sent her a ton of emo, "Why did you do this?" messages, she pretty much says "I'm sorry." to all of them. Fine, I'm done with this, time to move on. I don't have any contact with her for a week.

    One week later, she sends a "My turn" message, finally telling me about her side of things, how she feels crappy and wants me back, and has realized how important I am to her. But she feels like she needs so time off, to sort some things out, but would still like to see me.

    We've been hanging out... practically acting like we're together, told the guy she's not interested anymore, but... I don't know. Forgive and forget, right? I feel like we should work things out, but damn am I bitter about that guy, who was only online. I'm leaning in the "let her win you back" direction, but there's always the "she did it once..." which is countered by "and she learned not to do it again!" But...

    I'm interested to see what you guys have to say about this, personal experiences, advice, etc. Me being me, I probably will end up ignoring the advice, but maybe some of it will get through to me.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    She is shallow and immature, and she will give her time and attention to any man who gives her the time of day.

    She has come back to you because every normal man she encounters realizes how incredibly crazy she is, and they run away as fast as their legs will carry them.

    If you want to bang her, fine, but don't get in a relationship with her again.
     
  3. Hawkal

    Hawkal dammit,wtf? OT Supporter

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    :rofl:
    Duly noted.

    Though she doesn't really talk to guys unless they approach her, which us guys seem to have a problem doing.
     
  4. fluentinsilence

    fluentinsilence New Member

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    My ex still continues to hound me from time to time to come out to her campus & hang out with her; she persists & tells me that I am being ridiculous that since we dated (for 2.5 years no less), we can't hang out. She can't seem to get it through her head that it's not how it's done.

    Not suprising, she started hitting me back up as soon as the guy she started seeing right after me had dumped her. I advised her to take her problems elsewhere.

    In the meantime, the mates I hang with say I'm nuts for not going to visit her as it could be an easy lay, but that's simply one door of problems I'm not going to open.
     
  5. Hawkal

    Hawkal dammit,wtf? OT Supporter

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    So what if she's the one that does the dumping? For you? No difference?
     
  6. fluentinsilence

    fluentinsilence New Member

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    Well, I broke up with her (I had a much hotter girl hitting on me; showed me I had options lol and besides, the relationship was on a downward slope), she gets with this guy and tells me she is oh so happy. He dumps her a year or so later and she starts talking to me again, wondering what I am doing, etc. Acting very nonchalant about it.

    Naturally, I don't mind if the girl is doing the dumping; that's a guilt-free ticket out as far as I am concerned, but I wouldn't be getting into something as serious enough to call a separation "a dumping."
     
  7. Hawkal

    Hawkal dammit,wtf? OT Supporter

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    Ah. I don't feel like the relationship was on a downwards slope (more like the car just drove off a cliff). I did have a hotter girl hitting on me, but after seriously thinking about it, I found that I'm not that attracted to her after all.

    I kind of used an eating at a restaurant analogy for my ex, she wanted to try out both dishes, and pick the better. But that's just so not like her... She's generally really quiet and sweet, and I thought our personalities worked well.

    Rationally, I'm not into the whole casual dating, multiple partners thing, I just want one girl who will love me forever. Ha, not realistic at my age, I'm guessing. :hs:
     
  8. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    Men online make great emotional dumpsters.
     
  9. Hawkal

    Hawkal dammit,wtf? OT Supporter

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    :)
     
  10. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    It's true, I've been there. A lot of good can come from online relationships when approached correctly (As friends), but people online flirting always ends up the same way.

    Dominant one in the relationship (97% of the time a woman) uses the other as their emotional dumpster, for everything they need to talk about/get comfort for/etc, while fucking whoever they know in real life. The guy thinks there's some chance he's going to get some and stays in the relationship, lol.

    Every time.
     
  11. Hawkal

    Hawkal dammit,wtf? OT Supporter

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    And when stuff goes down IRL, girl: :iough:?
     

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