SRS Ex gf now dating a guy who punched her

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by crunchy_black, Sep 25, 2006.

  1. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

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    So my Ex GF is dating some guy who is very possesive.
    She went to one of her friends house when she was told she was not allowed to go - She went, he found out and punched her (with force)

    She wanted to break up with him, but he got angry so she gave in.
    He drops by her work, calls her in the middle of the night, arrives at places she is going to unexpectdly. - To keep an eye on her.

    She is lieing out her ass about what she gets up to, leaves her car at home incase he comes around.. etc..
    He is eventually going to find out.
    She doesn't know what to do.

    They work at the same place - Although they don't see each other that much. Due to rotating shifts/ diff departments

    I told her to tell her brother and the other guys she lives with
    I told her to talk to a counserlour
    I told her it's just going to happen again,
    It's gonna get worse etc.

    She is too scared to do anything though, she is just hoping that he will dump her ( due to her always making up excuses with work/study etc. )

    What i am going to do now is..

    Find out a bunch of numbers of women abuse places and give them to her or talk to them myself.

    That sounds like the best idea?
    Or just go tell the brother and his friends and hopefully they can 'scare' him off?

    Any other ideas?
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    You've done just about all you can do......SHE is making the decision to stay with him, if you tell her brother what's that going to do?
     
  3. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

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    Because if he knows whats going on, he may confront him and scare him off.
    The Boyfriend with no longer be the dominant one?
     
  4. KingOfBabTouma

    KingOfBabTouma Hepinize daha iyiyim OT Supporter

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    beat him to within an inch of his worthless life:x: then maybe rape (with ball bat)and spit??? Having grown up in this atmosphere, I have no pity or respect for a man who hits a woman.
     
  5. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    Neither do I, but I also know

    1. it's not going to change unless SHE does it
    2. if her brother beats the guy up then HE'S going to jail, not the abuser
    3. her ex-boyfriend telling her what to do about her current boyfriend is a train wreck waiting to happen.


    cliffs: let her get hit until SHE decides to do something about it so she doesn't end up fucking over her brother, too
     
  6. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

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    Sadly, if she gets beat more maybe then she will leave?

    But i've read about women who get "trapped" in violent relationships -

    Allthough, i assume it's a rare thing? :dunno:
     
  7. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    ^
    seriously, you need to tell her "I know he hit you. I'm concerned. If you want to break up with him and you don't feel safe you should tell your brother or the police or someone and get away from him now. If he hit you once he'll do it again."

    Then leave her to do what she's going to do. All you can do is get yourself jacked up, or get you and her brother involved, and it's not going to end in a good place. If he's hitting a woman then he's got no shame and no self respect. Trying to "convince" him to stop will fail and you're going to be forced to escalate (and you go to jail) or stop (and empower him even more). So which do you want? Jail for you, or him feeling like nobody can stop him because he already "beat" you and her brother?

    If SHE isn't going to do anything, there's nothing anyone else can do.
     
  8. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

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    Hmmm, i'll give it a week or 2 and i'll see how it goes..

    See if she does anything, if not i'll go and see her and make her go to the police..
    Police sounds better, then her brother wont know.


    I get some great comments from her though

    "but he is really sweet" :hsugh:

    Girls, who knows huh
     
  9. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    1. you can't make her do anythnig
    2. you're beginning to sound like the guy you're describing

    you do know she's free to date whomever she pleases, right? And as an EX-boyfriend it's not your job or your right to screen future applicants, correct?

    exactly how do you know he hit her, and how do you know it was "with force"?
     

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