SRS Ex bf

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Digital_angel, Jan 20, 2006.

  1. Digital_angel

    Digital_angel New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    141
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gig effing Harbor
    so my ex boyfriend might move into town...
    this might not seem like a big problem but my my ex is abusive
    when i dated him he constantly beat me the worst was when he called me over to his house and was behind a door and beat me with a lamp. I was in the hospital for 4 days. Im really scared of him being in the same town. I havent seen him since the time he broke into my house and was waiting in my room. I dont even want to tell me current boyfriend that my ex might move here. What should i do?
     
  2. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    14,349
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brooklyn
    Well if this is true then you need to get a restraining order against him. Also tell your friends and family about the situation so they can look out after you. Maybe you should take some self defense classes. Buy some mace.
     
  3. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    50,478
    Likes Received:
    35
    Location:
    philadelphia/buffalo
    notify local authorities of the situation, get a restraining order, take self defense courses, buy mace, get a big dog, let your current b/f know (if its a serious relationship and not a fling).
     
  4. Create

    Create :free at last:

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    8,043
    Likes Received:
    2
    In addition to the suggestions above, get your hands on a cellphone if you do not have one. It doesn't need a plan or company to back it up. All it needs to have is decent signal. Any cellphone on any network can always be used to dial 911. Your only expense would be getting a the hardware.
     
  5. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    50,478
    Likes Received:
    35
    Location:
    philadelphia/buffalo
    if you own your own home do you have a security system? maybe purchase one of those with a panic button installed in the bedroom/other locations in the home. or would moving to a new city be an option? you shouldn't have to live in constant fear/anxiety, that's no way to live.
     
  6. Create

    Create :free at last:

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    8,043
    Likes Received:
    2
    Although it seems a good option, running does nothing to correct the psyche of either party. It lets him continue to exert control over her life.

    Even after the move, it'll still be
    I can't predict the future, nor do I know the situation well. This may not be a battle worth fighting.
     
  7. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2005
    Messages:
    4,692
    Likes Received:
    0
    Id also add have your bf start lifting. I'd had to be the mean guy here, but there isnt much optomistic to say. Unless you live in a big city, your bound to run into him. Hopefully he has changed

    :hs:
     
  8. Tom93R1

    Tom93R1 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2004
    Messages:
    411
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tempe, AZ
    How do you know he is moving back? Hopefully you have not maintained communications with somebody like that.
     
  9. Digital_angel

    Digital_angel New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    141
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gig effing Harbor
    i know he is moving back from a friend of mine. I have taken kickboxing so I can defend myself. Ive never done a restraining order how do i go about getting one?
     
  10. caligal1115

    caligal1115 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0
    i've never had to do the restraining order thing, but I assume going to a police station and asking them would be a good start. I'm sure someone in there would be able to help you out by at least pointing you in the right direction. While I do think restraining orders should be taken into consideration, I do believe that self defense is a hell of a lot more protective. If he's attacking you, throwing a peice of paper won't do any good. I agree with that other guy, tell your bf to start lifting weights...you too.
     
  11. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    4,151
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Armadillo World Headquarters
    What City or County/State do you live in?
     
  12. Changed

    Changed Guest

    you could buy a handgun, even just to give yourself a sense of security
     
  13. Joe_Cool

    Joe_Cool Never trust a woman or a government. Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    299,205
    Likes Received:
    516
    A restraining order doesn't mean shit except that he can also be charged with a misdemeanor for violating it after he does something.

    She should get a dog and a gun, and learn how to handle both.
     
  14. Joe_Cool

    Joe_Cool Never trust a woman or a government. Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    299,205
    Likes Received:
    516
    How much do you weigh? How much does he weigh? It's good that you're learning self-defense, but seriously don't put too much faith in it. you're better off than if you had no training, but to be honest, without a weapon a woman has almost no chance against a determined male attacker.

    Get a gun.
     
  15. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    14,349
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brooklyn
    Thats not true. If he were to try and control her or attack her in a public place and she can some how hit him in the balls or some other key place that she will learn in self defense. It might give her enough time to get somebodys attention that she is in need of help. She might not be able to learn enough to kick his ass, but just knowing where to kick somebody or punch somebody could save your life.
     
  16. Joe_Cool

    Joe_Cool Never trust a woman or a government. Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    299,205
    Likes Received:
    516
    Yeah she could kick him in the balls or something, but if he's determined to hurt her, he's going to. Have you ever actually been in a real fight? I doubt it, because if you had, you'd know that getting kicked in the balls doesn't disable you or end the fight. Most of the time you don't even feel it until the action is over. And chances are he won't jump her in the mall with a hundred people around to help her. Violent does not mean stupid.

    People seem not to understand that men and women are built differently. Men are stronger, faster, and more powerful. No amount of training will make a women able to beat up a man. Like I said, yes, she'll be better off than if she had no training at all, but kickboxing classes aren't going to make her invincible or even able to hold her own against a man. That's just the way things are.

    A gun, on the other hand, gives her an advantage. Now if you were (or are) a woman with a psycho after you, would you want your life to depend on whether you can get other people to come save you, or would you want to be able to handle the situation and defend yourself?
     
  17. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    14,349
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brooklyn
    Just because I've never been kicked or punched in the balls doesnt mean i've never been in a fight. :rolleyes: What kind of guys go for each others balls in a fight anyway. However, I Have been hit in the balls by accident playing sports and I can say i laid on the ground for a few minutes cause I was so shocked.
     
  18. Joe_Cool

    Joe_Cool Never trust a woman or a government. Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    299,205
    Likes Received:
    516
    Yes, and playing baseball is exactly the same as being in a fight. :rofl: :rofl:
     
  19. Digital_angel

    Digital_angel New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    141
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gig effing Harbor
    great news omg im really happy, today i called my friend and she gave me the most wonderful news my ex went to jail today!!! he is in for 2 years. By the time he gets out i will be long gone.
     
  20. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2005
    Messages:
    3,843
    Likes Received:
    0
    Curious... what for.

    I also have some karma issues with being happy cause someone is going to jail, but I dunno...
     
  21. Digital_angel

    Digital_angel New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    141
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gig effing Harbor
    rape and assault i dont know the details
    yeah i know i shouldnt be happy for him going to jail bad karma and all but just everything that i have gone through with him, its nice not to worry.
     
  22. Joe_Cool

    Joe_Cool Never trust a woman or a government. Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    299,205
    Likes Received:
    516
    Good news. :)
     
  23. TRN

    TRN Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2003
    Messages:
    55,028
    Likes Received:
    124
    Location:
    North East
    Sorry to hear you were ever put into such a situation.

    Why was he so abusive like that?
     
  24. caligal1115

    caligal1115 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0
    yay for the ex being in jail!! but i still think you should continue with self defense classes/getting a gun...JUST in case. =)
     
  25. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    4,151
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Armadillo World Headquarters
    Perhaps what she should really do is see a counselor to find out why she likes dating men that beat her up? If she can solve that problem then the need for all the other "self defense" measures might just go away. Go to the "root" of the problem.
     

Share This Page