Ex baggage

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by vizyn, May 26, 2009.

  1. vizyn

    vizyn New Member

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    So I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now - we're not exlusive and have no real label but have been spending a ton of time together. Everything has been great, we have a ton of fun together, sex is great, and we're both content with how things are now.. no real interest in making it 'official'.

    The one thing that kind of gets to me a bit is she constantly talks about her previous ex (6 mo. relationship, been out for 3). The only reason it is an issue is because I really don't want to deal with any drama that could come from it. I don't want to be stuck in the middle of something - we've had a ton of fun together and her doing that would completely turn me off to her. I get that she's not over him and is on the rebound - she told me that when I first met her. My question is.. what do you think the odds are that she's going to put me in the middle anyways? The things she does are as follows..

    1. Constantly talks about our dates/time together being better than how it was with him
    2. Brings up negative things about him in conversation, not just with me, all the damn time.. like she's trying to convince herself he's not worth caring about
    3. Goes to a couple of the bars he bartends/manages at and tends to invite me out... does things like update her facebook status via phone when she's there hoping he'll see it, or purposely taking a route to walk by and then look through the window to see if he's there..

    So this weekend I basically told her that she makes it obvious she isn't over him, which is fine, but if she tries to put me in the middle/use me to make him jealous sort of thing I'm gone. She said she'd never do that and seemed to be pretty upset that she might've already scared me off.

    Cliffs: Casually dating/hooking up with girl on rebound, everything is great however, she constantly talks about ex, goes to places with and w/o me where she could run into him.

    Are all these things just to be expected when seeing someone who's on the rebound? What are the chances I'll still end up getting put in the middle of something?
     
  2. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Honestly, it seems normal.

    Could I personally deal w/ it? Probably not.

    If it was only a 6 mo relationship, chances are shes resentful and realized she wasted time. So shes justifying, or attempting to justify it to herself. luckily for you, you get to be the person to sit there and hear it all.

    If you're enjoying your time with her, just go on with it. You've already spoken up to her about it so she knows how you feel. Its not something that either of you are hiding, :dunno: , if shes 'worth' it to you, then deal w/ it.
     
  3. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    You're the rebound guy, what do you expect? She's not over her ex, and wants him back. Thats why she is always trying to run into him and convince herself you're better.

    Give her the space and time she needs to get over him and understand that if she gets the chance, she'll go back to him. Have fun with her, but don't take it seriously until she stops talking about him. For now, she's just another notch on your belt.
     
  4. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    maybe its stuff that can be expected, but its nothing you should HAVE to put up with. it would be pretty boring to be out with someone, anyone, who wouldnt shut up about their ex, even if i wasnt interested in getting together with them.

    what are you looking to get from her? if its a relationship, walk away now. if its just sex, then take the sex and leave out the social parts like going out in public with her or having any interaction with her minus the banging.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Call her out on it. I did once and never heard about the ex EVER again.
     
  6. vizyn

    vizyn New Member

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    The sex has been great and thats pretty much what we're both in it for.. however we do have a great time going on dates / hanging out with each other's friends.. but that isn't going to last if this keeps up.
     
  7. vizyn

    vizyn New Member

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    Yeah this is what I did on Monday... her response was "oh god you aren't ever going to call me again are you?"

    Hopefully she got the message.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Perfect. If she does again you can either call her on it again or drift off into space so that when she notices and asks you what's wrong you can say something along the lines of "oh, I heard 'ex boyfriend' again so I tuned out."
     

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