ex asks me on a date

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by THoC, Mar 19, 2009.

  1. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    long story short...

    my ex of almost 2 yrs broke it off w. me about 2 months ago.

    she said the relationship had lost its spark. said she felt too dependent on me. felt she had not figured out what she wanted in life. but still loved me.... felt one day we would end up together again.

    so.... we'd talk here and there when she got her stuff out the house. once in a while a call/text here and there of the "how are things" type.


    fast forward to last week. on friday she texts me. says she's near my house and what i am doing. i tell her im going to the dog park w. a friend. she says ok.

    monday she texts me and calls me leaving a voice mail. just to tell me that she got a temporary job. I dont see it until 2am so i call her the next day to congratulate her.
    the whole time i found it strange that she would call me just to say that... but whatever.... i felt from her tone that she wanted to say more. i didnt pry and said bye.

    tuesday she texts me asking if i want to hang out for st patty's. i tell her i have plans. she says "i miss your face". i reply "my face misses you too".
    i tell her if she's lucky we may see each other sometime this weekend as we frequent a lot of the same places.

    today out of the blue she texts me "would you like to go on a date with me?".


    uhhhhhhh............. :eek3:

    it took me a bit to get over this girl bc i loved her very much. she said she needed time to be alone and figure her own life out.

    now just two months later she wants to go out on a date?

    she wanted to go out tonight but i told her i have plans. so instead we will meet for dinner tomorrow.

    probably not the smartest move on my end. but if nothing else i want to know what is up w. her and asking me out on this date.

    what would you have guys done?
     
  2. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    Hmm, well the vibe I get from this is that she felt she was unsure of where she was in life, unsure about what was out there. She went and looked, and didn't find anything better than you. Things have changed in her life (new job). She may have realized that she actually missed you, despite faults she though big enough to break up over.

    How you want to take this is basically up to you. You said you loved her and you have a chance to get back to that again, but I can't say I blame you for being hesitant. I say if you want to, go on the date with her, but take it slow. If you guys start dating again, I would be straight up with her and say something along the lines of "It took it a while for me to get over you, and I don't want to start in all this again if we're just gonna break up again. So be sure you actually want this"
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I hate to say this....but I'm going to go ahead and say she broke it off because she was interested in another guy. You've done well giving her her space and most likely things didn't unfold well with that other guy and now she wants you back ultimately.

    Just putting that out there.
     
  4. Joybang

    Joybang New Member

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    +1

    Or she wanted to sleep around a bit.:rofl: Not saying its a bad thing but if she did and TS didn't it would probably be a awkward for him if they got back together.
     
  5. _A_

    _A_ New Member

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    Id say push the topic of why she broke it off, flat out ask if there was another guy and see how she responds.

    She left you for a reason, and it wasn't becuase she didnt know what she wanted in life.
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    2 months is not enough time to get over a 2 year relationship enough to start it over.
     
  7. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Yeah unfortunately this is more than likely the case.
     
  8. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    A woman will generally out right deny any other man and very convincingly, there is no point.
     
  9. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    abort
     
  10. skych

    skych New Member

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    need to make sure she really wants to get into this again, it may be she's just not very successful w/ the 'single scene' and wants to come back to you where she was comfortable and got constant love. go for it if you want but be very careful
     
  11. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    agreed.

    open communication ftmfw. sure, find out why she broke up with you. settle all your differences. however, she is the one that asked you on this date. let her speak first. maybe she'll be open and honest with you.

    just a little food for thought...even if she did break up with you for another guy, at least she respected you enough not to cheat on you.
     
  12. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    Isn't it almost at the same level though?

    She thinks she can do better, but when she can't, she comes back to him; does he REALLY wanna be that guy, the guy a girl settles for because a better one wasn't available?

    This is all assuming that beer's post was spot on, and I think it was.
     
  13. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    no, i don't think it's the same level. cheating is by far more worse than being unsure of yourself in life.

    the TS said his ex said this...

    while what she said mentions nothing about another guy, it is possible that she wanted to play the field.

    anyways, the ex gf is the only one who knows the story. i have a feeling she will act one of two ways on their date:

    1) be apologetic and come out and explain why she felt the need for the break-up, ask for his forgiveness, and see if they can start a relationship again [hopefully slowly - and not rush into things and risk falling into the same trap again]. of course she'll answer any and all questions the TS has as well.

    2) be all lovey-dovey and act as if things are headed back to the old 'normal' ie, when the two of them had been in a relationship.

    if action 2 is the case, i'd definitely agree that she felt the grass was greener on the other side and merely dumped the TS for another man. if that is the case, i'd abort.

    i do have a question for the TS... you mentioned that the two of you frequent the same places. have you seen her at all during this two month break? if so, any behavior changes you've noticed, ie more/less flirty?
     
  14. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I would have probably said yes as well. That being said, what you should do is run and not look back.
     
  15. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Sounds like she just wanted out to go do her for a while... did 'her' for a little while and realized her relationship with you was better

    This is your call sir.
     
  16. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    Check it out, see whats there and for me I'd have to find out why she really broke up with me. If you were with her for 2 years you'll be able to know if she's lying. If she is just politely get up and tell her your sorry but if she isn't going to be honest now then there isn't any reason to take it further.
     
  17. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i did see her out a few times. i would just say hi and basically give her no attention. she would walk by me and run her hand on my back, grab my arm, smile, etc.... she did not seem flirty w. others.

    she is shy and not the type to approach guys. however, she is very pretty and guys hit on her all the time.


    i did get some more info.... one of my friends knows every club/bar owner in ybor and saw her there twice kissing some guy.

    do i think thats why she left me? knowing her i do not ...... then again she broke it off w. me out of the blue..... so i dont know her as well as i thought.

    i will give her a chance to tell me they "whys" of the break up. i dont think the guy is going to be the reason. however, when she left me she was very adamant that she did not want to be w. any other guy. so this alone make makes me feel there was more to the break up.

    if she does not bring him up i will ask her if she messed around w. anyone. if she lies to me i will walk away from dinner and leave her there.

    i am not getting into this w. her again if its going to start off w. lies.
     
  18. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    another bit..... we were aiming last night before i went out. she asked who i was hanging out w. and i mentioned two of my friends that NEVER come out bc they're married.
    she commented on that and i explained both seperated from their wives... i then said "the whole world is single lol".

    she replied "not everyone wants to be though".

    i have a feeling she wants to seriously date again...... and thats just not going to happen. i will want to take it extremely slow w. her.
    2 months is not enough for her to all of a sudden have discovered herself.
     
  19. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    this is a bad idea. you are still hurt and miss her and will reason away any negative aspect of this meeting. she broke up with you. move on.
     
  20. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    oh i know its not a good idea. trust me..... yet..... im still going to do it.

    if, for nothing else, to get some closure as to why she left me (if what she's told me is not the whole truth) and why she all of a sudden wants me back.
     
  21. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    She broke up with you for another guy and that fell thru. Now she's looking for attention again.

    Girls always say that bullshit when they want to sleep around or have a crush on a new guy.

    How old are you 2? I'm guessing early to mid 20's...
     
  22. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    im 31 she is 22. which in itself tells the story on her.

    she even admitted that she is too young and needed to figure out herself.

    i guess being 22 and 2 months is all the time she needed lol
     
  23. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    Are you prepared to hear the worst? And do you really want to put yourself through that? Is it necessary for you?
     
  24. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i am prepared to hear the worst. it wont put me through anything more then what i went through the first time.

    and yes it is necessary.... call me a glutton for punishment..... but id like to know the whys.
     
  25. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    The fear here shouldn't be that the date will go badly. The fear should be that the date will go well, you get back together, then months and months later end up breaking up again over the exact same shit leading you to question why the fuck you went on the date knowing the odds were you were starting a long, painful, unnecessary process that would waste months of time and energy that could have been spent doing something productive and/or would have an otherwise positive net effect on your life.

    Suck on that run on sentence, bitch.
     

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