SRS Everyone is more social than me.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by limited_skillz, Nov 15, 2005.

  1. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    I've probably complained about this before, but I just need help. I see people having fun and talking everyday, and I'm just lonely. I have like 3 close friends, and I don't even like talking to 2 of them most of the time. I don't really have much aquaintances either, but I just need some form of communication.

    For the longest time I thought I had social anxiety, but I saw someone who had it and they cried and stuff whenever they were out in public. Plus, I'm a pretty fun person once you get to know me, but hardly anyone ever devotes enough time to. I can put on visages of false confidence pretty effectively, but I still just can't talk to anyone much.

    I hate this, I feel like I've just wasted my youth without any communication with other people. I've tried the whole join school clubs, and finding activities, but it's pretty futile.. theres always like one or two other losers who I can talk to, but eventually it gets boring, and I just lose contact, and I always wish I talk to more people, but theres nothing to say because they've got such an established social life already.
     
  2. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    There is a book out that I have heard people rave on and on about but I haven't read it myself. It's called something like, "How to win friends and influence people". Does anyone have more info? Maybe try googling it or something. Seriously, I've heard people say that this book changed their life.
     
  3. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    I'll check it out because I'm grasping at straws and I'll do anything; however, I've tried a bunch of books like these. They seem to be towards the older generation who is more formal and less irrational. I can do the whole eloquent speech, about like politics or the weather. When it comes to talking to people about fun stuff, I just don't know what to do. I hear them talking, but nothing in me reacts to it. I know it's what I want to do, because I don't have fun talking about boring stuff, and the few times I actually do talk normally I have fun. I've known this for a long time, but it's become really evident in the past few weeks, since I can't even find a person worse than me.
     
  4. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    I also don't benefit from theoretical stuff like "Encourage others to talk about themselves and listen to them.", and "Start with questions the other person will answer yes to."... I actually need many examples of how theyd be used in a conversation.

    I also want to obtain some form of wit, it seems every guy has it, but me. I have a bit at times, but it's lame and nowhere in comparison, so I don't use it very often unless I'm talking to a 70 year old grandma.
     
  5. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    I have a similar problem; but mine is more that I fear destroying the professional image and reputation I have by using wit/humor. I just don't want to offend anyone.... and frankly I also just don't enjoy the kind of stuff people my age do for enjoyment. It always seems like it turns to sex, drugs, or violence; and I don't want any part of it.
     
  6. Leaden Grudge

    Leaden Grudge OT Supporter

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    I've read a bit of that book, it's pretty good, it's practical too, one thing I remember it said was that people like hearing their name, so try and say their name as much as possible when talking to them. Something like that, it makes sense.
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Everyone needs to have a little bit of Jamaican in his body. Relax, stop stressing it asif ' YOU HAVE TO MAKE CONTACT ' , don't go out making contact because society demands it, make contact when you want to make contact. You don't do it to stress yourself, but to have a cozy and fun time. I love listening at a comedy radio station on my win amp player, makes me much more relaxed too.
     
  8. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Dave DeAngelo highly reccomends this book. I'll put it on my list.

    Anyway, if you want to be more social, try the sosuave bootcamp.
     
  9. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    I'm not very social when it comes to going to bars where everybody is drinking. Of course this is because i never usually dirnk, just drive for friends.
     

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