SRS Ever had to "break up" with a friend?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by daaarn, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. daaarn

    daaarn New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2007
    Messages:
    2,951
    Likes Received:
    0
    first of all, this isn't a relationship thread, i just couldn't think of any other way to describe the situation. second of all, when i say friend, i mean just a regular friend. anyway, to the main point of this thread:

    like the title says, have you ever "broken up" with a friend (or taken a "break")? basically, have you ever just decided that things weren't working out or you just didn't care anymore and wanted out of a friendship (or at least some distance)?

    for me, i've been friends with this guy for years, and we were pretty close. we'd hang out all the time and everything. however, he's always had some traits i've never really liked, but they were relatively minor and i'd always overlooked them b/c hey, he was a friend, you accept them for who they are. anyway, awhile back, something just clicked in my head or something, and i started noticing those "bad" character traits more and more whenever i was around him. we still hung out, but it started to become more and more like a chore than fun. i've tried bringing it up, but he either shrugs it off or gets defensive about it. anyway, he still calls me up regularly to hang out, but the last couple times i've given him excuses to get out of it (some legitimate, some not). we travel in some of the same circles so i can't avoid him forever. i don't necessarily want to stop being friends w/ him, but i don't want to hang out with him that often either. is there anyway to sort this out?
     
  2. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest

    Yeah I had to break up with one of my closest friends... she was my best friend at the time actually. And just how you noticed bad traits about your friend, I (and a lot of other people) were noticing bad traits in my best friend too. But these traits were sort of self-destructive, it wasn't just a minor bad characteristic that was easily fixable.
    Then eventually some of those traits were sorta rubbing off on me.
    I snapped out of it, realized she wasn't a good friend to begin with, but still hung out with her. We finally fought, and that basically ended everything.
    I was sad for a little bit, because we were really close and no one could make me laugh as hard as her, but at the same time logically thinking she was really not a good friend... and just not a good person to be around generally.

    She sent me a text 2 years after the fight apologizing and saying she missed me and stuff. So now I just call and check up on her etc, but haven't seen her in forevers. :hs:
     
  3. onedownfiveup

    onedownfiveup Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2005
    Messages:
    18,222
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    KC
    Wirelessly posted via wap.offtopic.com (HTC Touch: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows CE; IEMobile 7.6) Sprint MP6900SP)

    Only friends I've had to break up hanging out with were females.
     
  4. Nguyen89

    Nguyen89 I recycle gold. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
    Messages:
    17,422
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vancouver, Canada
    well i had to break up with a friend once, but it was only cause he stabbed me in the back so that justifies it
     
  5. BritishHumpingWitch

    BritishHumpingWitch New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2007
    Messages:
    40,114
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Inside Hendo's groin guard
    Yes, unfortunately.

    I'm going to try and make a long story short:
    My friend had a lot of issues; which wasn't a problem the first few years; granted, it was tiring making excuses up for her why she didn't show up for work 3 or 4 days in a row...(she was addicted to muscle relaxers), why she acted the way she did in some circumstances; etc. I was always there to pick her up and dust her off after each failed relationships with married men; her mood swings (sometimes violent), and emotions were alllll over the place constantly, but I knew why and all I could do was just be there for her as any friend would do even though I was more of a friend to her than she was to me -- she was very needy and selfish, but I didn't mind because deep down I really felt bad for her and wanted to help her.

    One Summer I made plans to go away for 2 weeks; I told her all about it, I told her where I was going -- what date and time I was leaving -- what date and time I was coming back and told her that I'd call her as soon as I got home; etc.

    She seemed fine with it.

    When I came back home from my trip, I found 25+ messages on my answering machine with caller ID -- all from her; talking to me like I was there. I called her wondering why she called me so many times when she knew I was away -- she flipped out and denied calling me and said it was all in my imagination!, lol. She sent me (via post), her phone bill which proved nothing along with an evil letter. I called her to let her know that I got her letter and phone bill which wasn't needed and said to her that I thought that our friendship needed to come to an end and that our friendship was nice while it lasted; etc. and hung up. After that, I began getting lots of hang-up calls; which led me to change my phone number.

    I never saw or heard from her again.
     
  6. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    12,589
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    THE Hawkeye Nation
    friends dont break up they just stop talking
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    psycho!
     
  8. onedownfiveup

    onedownfiveup Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2005
    Messages:
    18,222
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    KC
    That's what I was going to say, any male friends I've had that I don't hang out with anymore for whatever reason we never had a "break up" we just stopped talking.
     
  9. thegreenman

    thegreenman Greenman is totally saving your life right now, br

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2006
    Messages:
    1,319
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Irvine, CA
    couldn't have said it better
     
  10. daaarn

    daaarn New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2007
    Messages:
    2,951
    Likes Received:
    0
    yeah, that's usually the case with me too, but this guy just won't take a hint. he's basically become that guy in the group. you know, the guy who's always there, and everybody's just a bit too nice to tell him to leave. i mean, he used to be okay (or so it seemed), but then i guess things change.
     
  11. TheManLouisianaFace

    TheManLouisianaFace and decide!

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    32,995
    Likes Received:
    0
    The person I was friends with happened to be of the opposite sex so it kind of did feel like a breakup in a weird kind of way. Either way it's really hard and really sucks :hsd:
     
  12. NickS

    NickS New Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2007
    Messages:
    138
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Upstate, New York
    +1, and I think everyone has experienced this.
     
  13. BritishHumpingWitch

    BritishHumpingWitch New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2007
    Messages:
    40,114
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Inside Hendo's groin guard
    I'm well aware she had mental problems. But I also know that what happend to her as a child was not her fault. I hold nothing personal against her; it was all based on what I could handle and at the end of the day, I walked away because I couldn't take anymore.

    When she had a *good day*, she was a lovely person to be around; friendly, compassionate, had a good sense of humor; etc. I remember thinking to myself, "Gosh, if it could only stay this way".
    ...Unfortunately, it didn't.

    I catch myself thinking about her from time to time; wondering if she's Ok, but I'd never contact her again for the simple fact that I had more than my fair share of her dependence on me.
     
  14. BritishHumpingWitch

    BritishHumpingWitch New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2007
    Messages:
    40,114
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Inside Hendo's groin guard
    You're absolutely right, Metallic Blue.
    ...But at that time, I didn't see things like that back then as I do now.
     

Share This Page