Ever had a "Do not want" breakup?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Taker, Sep 10, 2008.

  1. Taker

    Taker 找死吗?

    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    29,809
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    neither side wanted to part, but circumstances doesn't allow things to continue. (example, permanently moving away)

    mind sharing some stories and how you coped with it?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Mind sharing your story?
     
  3. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    6,999
    Likes Received:
    4
    I've had "should not have" sex

    does that count?
     
  4. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    6,999
    Likes Received:
    4
    god she was 17 too :coolugh:
     
  5. Taker

    Taker 找死吗?

    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    29,809
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    i had to go to bed last night :o actually i didn't know what to call it until i saw your av

    basically, fell in love with an international students, i knew this beforehand, but then i thought everything is gamble and chances and something could work out (if she was allowed to stay..etc) so i went for it anyways...and then eventually the inevitable comes and she had to leave the US
     
  6. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    6,999
    Likes Received:
    4
    ah don't sweat it

    have no regrets man. I'm sure you would have been involved with her even if you had known for sure that she would be going back.
     
  7. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    so you guys will never ever see each other again?

    maybe its just because I'm at a point in my life where i would just pick up and leave with my SO, but why couldnt one of you do that? granted, this all depends on age, seriousness of the relationship (cause you should be damn serious if you move to another country to be with someone) and living/job circumstances. so, how old are you, how long have you guys been dating?
     
  8. Taker

    Taker 找死吗?

    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    29,809
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    i'm 23, it was less than year but we both treated it seriously

    i have no problem going somewhere else, but its still a big deal to pickup and go live in another country on your own..esp since it really wasn't too long a relationship. i decided to stay for about a year to at least have a fallback plan (career-wise) and then go venture...it'd be a good experience regardless just to live in another place even if thigns don't work out

    sorry for the fail english :o
     
  9. Taker

    Taker 找死吗?

    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    29,809
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    i have no regrets, initially when she boarded the plane i was so crushed

    now i'm over that stage...but i'm kind of just "floating" emotionally

    we still talk whenever we could...but it just always have that :hs: because i don't feel that i have a proper closure
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    bullshit.

    If both people had high interest level they would find a way to make it work.

    Sounds like the plot of a Bollywood movie.
     
  11. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,613
    Likes Received:
    476
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    Assuming, of course, that they are both adults who support themselves. ;)
     
  12. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    :werd:

    I'm all for the whole star-crossed lovers thing, but it's important to come back to reality at some point. I've had a couple flings here and there with women where we both got terribly swept up only to come crashing down later. I think that fantasy of it is part of what makes it so passionate sometimes. I mean if the relationship ran it's normal course you'd probably find a real reason to break up and then it wouldn't be so romantic.
     
  13. Taker

    Taker 找死吗?

    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    29,809
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    i think dropping everything and going to a country i've never been to, doesn't speak the language is kind of a big deal, don't you? for a <1 year relationship

    My current plan is to work here (a "real" job) for about a year or so, and then go there for a year and see where things go. I think this gives time to get over the initial "high" or passion, "Was it really something special?" and allows me to gain experience in my career, instead of 2 years out of college with nothing to show for it

    Engineers don't do so hot outside the US :hs:
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Your gf wouldn't have moved to a different country if she had high interest level in you.

    edit - didn't read entire story. Students aren't usually in control of their own lives at that age.

    This case is the exception... kind of... cuz let's be serious, high interest level would've either come back or moved here.
     
  15. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    High interest > career > school > dog shit > low interest


    In other words, people give up careers for high interest relationships.

    But with low interest, no one cares. 99% of the "does she like me?" threads posted by guys here are low interest by the woman.

    Interest is judged by the woman's actions, not by what she says.

    "omg i love you so much... i'm going to miss you when I move" = low interest (the average guy would be fooled here, thinking that the girl has high interest because she's talking about how much she loves him. The socially intelligent guy would identify this as low interest and not waste any more time with this girl)

    "i turned down a job in NY to be with you in CA" = high interest
     
  16. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    ^ that's like the best post in the Vag right there
     
  17. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2001
    Messages:
    13,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    lovely orlando

    :werd: i agree... if you find a high interest mate, nothing should stop you from keeping them.

    i'm a self-proclaimed workaholic, and i wouldn't take a career over an SO. he'd obviously have to be pretty damn special though ;)
     
  18. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2001
    Messages:
    52,552
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miramar, FL
    :werd::werd: :werd: :werd:
     
  19. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,945
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    I've had "want more sex"
     
  20. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,613
    Likes Received:
    476
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    I wouldn't advise it. :dunno: Unless you have a very viable second option that makes you happy.

    Of course, women don't put as much stock into careers as men do, so it's going to be a lot easier for a woman to give up a career than a man.

    But a man comprimising what he loves to do for a relationship? I assert that you simply aren't compatible. ;)
     
  21. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    6,999
    Likes Received:
    4
    thank you captain obv...
     
  22. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    6,999
    Likes Received:
    4
    I have chronic "I want it everyday all the time" syndrome
     
  23. Taker

    Taker 找死吗?

    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    29,809
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    so...nobody else have any experiences they're willing to share? :o
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :dunno: Just never been in or started a relationship that I knew beforehand could end abruptly.
     
  25. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    Oh I've sort of been in the situation before. It always involved long distance and ended up in me picking up my entire life only to end up heart broken and going home with my tail between my legs. Starts off all passionate and romantic, but the reality is feelings were just exaggerated because of the impending doom. Have you ever felt closer to someone right before they leave on a long trip? It's the same kind of thing.

    Only other situation I can really think of like that I've been in is this pseudo forbidden romance I had with someone in my life. There were and will always be many significant reasons why she and I will never have any real connection, but we care deeply for each other and the underlying tension there is greatly heightened by the fact that it is something that can't happen.

    When it comes down to it, though, I'll pick a real, high interest relationship over those fantasy relationships every time. Reality isn't always intensely passionate or romantic, but if you to it right, it can be those things. And I'd rather have a long term relationship with someone where the passion ebs and flows than have the eb and flow be a different person every time.
     

Share This Page