SRS ever feel like everyone takes you for granted?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Eric Happy Meal, Jul 30, 2008.

  1. Eric Happy Meal

    Eric Happy Meal New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2004
    Messages:
    21,811
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Redondo Beach
    Ive always been the kind of guy who never minds lending a helping hand to someone, or basically just give myself to someone to help them out with whatever they needed, since i assumed that if i ever needed help that they would be there to lend a hand, or do anything really, to help me out. But, two weekends ago i was basically deathly sick lying in bed, (missed like 3 days of work during the week, and spent my entire weeking switching from my bed to the couch) and all of my "friends" knew how i was feeling. Yet, no one cared to stop by and check up on me, or even call me for that matter.

    This small instance just made me realize that the people who i called my friends werent really my friends, they were more just...people that i knew. it really has made me feel that everyone just takes advantage of my generosity/kindness. Now i feel resentment towards those that i thought were close to me, and i really just dont want to have anything to do with them anymore, and this whole situation has gotten me thinking about moving far away and just starting over and not letting "friends" get that close to me, or letting myself get taken advantage of....but i just dont know.... is it the right choice to leave everything behind???
     
  2. diaper eater

    diaper eater OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2003
    Messages:
    17,211
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    mpls, minnesota
    if you feel thats what it takes then yeah. i get that feeling about many of my friends as well, but then a few of them always come thru and make me feel like my generosity and true kindness is reciprocated.



    however, moving away and starting over may sound like a good idea... but not letting anyone get close to you will turn everything sour to you, all social activity and human interaction
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    A star(the sun) shines over the good and bad people.

    Should you become a terrible person just because other people are terrible against you? Hell no, although its tempting its 'those people' who are having the wrong attitude, the world needs more people like you who are kind and lend out a helping hand. Just like a star your soul needs to shine in the darkness with your love and kindness.

    That being said, your bad experience has required you to adjust your view on people. And you know what.

    It sucks really bad that the people who you thought would support you just dropped you like a brick. So the saying is true, a friend in need is a friend indeed. And its also true when they say 'real friends walk into your life when you need them, while fake friends walk out of your life when you need them'.

    So yes these people aren't your friends. And moreover that, i also had an experience in one person who i thought would always support me and tell the truth lied to me and didn't support me at all. It hurts like hell, but in cases where no one in the world seems to support you, you better make sure that you are supporting yourself. Don't turn into a terrible person because of other people giving you this bad experience, you don't want to become like them at all.

    Its also not a good idea to help others solemnly with the idea of 'them helping me back', the love and help that you give to others must be 'unconditional'. That way you don't have to be so dissapointed when they don't help you back.

    You need to be extra carefull with those who you put your trust in, especially if they haven't proven themselves to be trustworthy in the past.
     
  4. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2006
    Messages:
    4,153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    If it was a terminal illness or a bad accident or something then yeah, if they didn't atleast call I'd question their friendship for sure. But if I just had a bad headache or a bad flu or cold, I wouldn't really expect anything from them. I think that area is more reserved for family and your significant other. It would be nice if they came to visit, but it doesn't really say anything to me about our relationship if they didn't. People have themseleves, the SO's, their family and work to think about as well.

    I think its common for "nice guys" to feel resentment when their generosity is not returned. If you constantly do nice things for people, they will expect it and take it for granted, and you will find yourself resentful. Nobody is forcing you to do favors for people. Put yourself first, and only do a favor for someone when you really want to and its convenient for you. Refuse favors once in a while to let people know that your time is valuable, and people will start to appreciate you more. WHen you give out favors like its nothing, they become meanigless.
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2008
  5. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,957
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    I did when I used to care about what other people thought.
     
  6. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Messages:
    18,615
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Ont
    i always feel the same way...

    sometimes i despise my friends, and even hate them... of course the next day i lose that hate and call them to hang out again...
     

Share This Page