Discussion in 'On Topic' started by hsugh knight, Jul 25, 2008.
in a hostile way?
No but I have been on the receiving end of it.
what was that like
Are you considering doing this to someone else, or was this done to you?? My answer will depend on your intention in asking this question. I also will probably have to answer this at a later point, as right now I am supposed to be getting ready for a group dinner I am going to in a couple hours.
it already happened. i was the hostile party
No, because that makes you look like the immature one.
I'd rather have a relationship cut off in a hostile way than a passive way...atleast then you can adapt to some sort of closure or there might even be mutual feelings about the relationship end.
I've been on the receiving end of a couple of passive cut offs and that hurts so much more. Nothing hurts more than a supposed friends goes 'I just felt like dropping you out of my life because it seemed easiest.'
Not to say that either is good, but sometimes things just need to happen.
Details on how you cut off the friendship?
Best way I have found to cut off a friendship is to either A) just stop talking to the person, or B) say something to the effect of "I'm done with this, I'm not gonna do it anymore".
Granted, in the instances I have done this, they have just been casual friendships, I don't have any experience cutting off a long term relationship.
Yep my friend Matt. Been friends since 1996 and after my wife left I just decided he was one that needed to go as well due to his negativity. When I explained it to him he got hostile so there is just no more contact with him. Surround yourself with positive people as the negative ones will only hold you back.
It doesn't matter if it was hostile or passive. If they don't want to be friends then so be it.
yes...my ex gf that i was very good friends with for close to 5 years...she got a little jealous when things got serious with my now soon to be ex wife...so i had to cut her out
8 months after being married my wife is leaving me...talk about owned
Yep, it sucked and I was upset about it for more than a year later. But I'm happier now knowing that I don't have such shitty people in my life.
Tried. She came back. Kept coming. Hangs out with my buddy all the time now. Sucks. Just gotta every so often and roll with the punches
I did. My good buddy became a heavy coke user and I totally cut him off. Just one day started ignoring his texts and phone calls.
He asked a few people why I stopped hanging out with him and they didn't know. I am keeping his cokehead secret safe because he's got a wife and kids, but let him say anything negative about me and that cat will be outta the bag.
If you were on the receiving end, I would tell you more about the situation. But I honestly don't really want to get in depth on a really upsetting situation in my life unless I feel that you could relate/understand what I went through.
Sorry but I'm not getting into detail on this one.
In the past year I have been on both ends. The environment I am in has me constantly seeing the same people all day, every day, and it is not a work environment. It is a high school, immature environment where basically nobody is held accountable.
There was a lot of drama and a hostile end to two friendships (both I initiated) both for related reasons. One of the "friendships" was repaired to an amiable level but the second dude decided that everyone needed to know about how mean I supposedly was to him. One of my so called good friends basically took sides and passively turned on me. That is when it hit me. F*** all of them. Basically, I have pruned my social tree to the bare minimum...I no longer talk to anyone that is associated with them and only talk to people I have known since I was in college and just keep to myself. I have been much happier.
Yea, every so often it's useful to get rid of deadwood. It's quite telling how they react that you made the right choice..
No, but I have had to stop seeing and talking to them overnight without saying a thing after being called a rapist and being treated like shit for stupid reasons. Then again, I'm 19 and I'm talking about 16 and 17 year old teens, so it's to be expected.
Needless to say, they didn't bother to call me after my disappearance, so yeah, you could say I've been on the receiving end of what you ask.
Now here I am, alone again at home, after I finally thought I had some friends. But no, they turned out to be immature kids with no real understanding of what friendship means. Meanwhile, they're probably still going out, having fun as we used to do when we were together.
I've done the same thing except my friend was using meth.
yep. I've done it pretty often in the past year. Friends turn on me or they aren't the people i thought they were. I just stop talking to them.
Cutting friends out is a pretty shitty situation no matter what. A year ago, my best friend of 14 years finally started seeing a girl. He'd never had a girlfriend before so he was seeing her quite a bit the first couple weeks, which I totally understood.
After that, he would hang out with me, but whenever he was hanging out, he was either texting her, emailing her from my house, and talking to her on the phone. Got kind of annoying, so I figured it would wear off.
It never did and he stopped hanging out with not only me, but all of our friends. He started emailing me maybe once a week. I emailed him back saying that I was happy for him, but we've been friends for 14 years and I wasn't comfortable just being email friends. He never emailed me back after that, nor have I heard from him since.
his gf probably intercepted the last one
I had to do it a few times because the people where pretty shitty. These types of things happen though. As time goes by you cant really relate to the same people the same way or you grow out of certain people. I had a freind named erick that was a looser. At the time it really didnt bother me because I used to chill with him all the time and he would do crazy shit but I always thought it was funny.
Then as I started to go to college I started hanging out with different types of people and started to change when exposed to different shit. He stayed the same. We hanged out with some freinds from college and he would go out there with some of these stories he had. Shit you really dont tell people. It was kind of embarring.
I had to cut the cord then and there. He was pretty much still acting like he was in high school.
What do you do if it's a family member bringing negativity into your life? Have any of you ever cut off a sibling?