Ending long term relationship

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Zthirtytwo, Aug 12, 2006.

  1. Zthirtytwo

    Zthirtytwo New Member

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    I figured OT would have some good advice about my situation. Ive been with my G/f for 1.5 yrs now, and i wanna end it by means that will hurt her the least. I think she already expects me to break up with her. I wanna d it sometime this week before she goes on her cruise to bermuda (figureing that way she can have a vacation to go drink and have fun with her friend sto forget the crap with). Any ideas on how i should bring this topic up, and is it a good idea to do it at her house?
     
  2. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    I think it depends what the reason for breaking up is. And dont you think that will make her sad and depressed for her trip?
     
  3. scent of a wookie

    scent of a wookie OT Supporter

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    yeah, I don't know if doing it before her trip would be a good idea
     
  4. Zthirtytwo

    Zthirtytwo New Member

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    Well im torn between before or after the trip. As for reason, or reasons. I just think that the relationship had began for the wrong reasons, shes 18 and im 21 so its a matter of shes completely at a different point in her life. She complains way more than anybody ive ever knon, grown apart from each other, no longer have anything in common, and she seems to want to control my life and gets jealous when i spend tiem trying to work on my career. I've felt th is way for about 4 months now, but held on cuase i feel really bad about this, and her family has treated me like a part of the family too. And now for the shitty part is that i started hanging around with a girl i used to know years ago who i was seeing and things just didnt work out then, but after getting to knwo her again i releized how miserable i am in my current relationship. Btw i like this other girl and she likes me too, but i feel bad about leading on current g/f when i know im gonna be far happier with new girl.

    Cliffs: Grown apart, met girl i used to see and relized just how miserable i feel in current relationship and feel its time to move on. Also cant deicde if its better to break it off week before trip or immeadiately after trip.
     
  5. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    I think you should do it AFTER the trip. You will ruin her trip if you break up with her beforehand.

    There's no easy way to end a relationship. Just be honest with her...do it in person. Not on the phone or through email. You at least owe her that much. She'll be upset but she will get over it.

    Sometimes people grow apart and realize they aren't compatible. There isn't any thing wrong with that. Don't feel guilty about it because it sounds like she isn't happy. She will be devastated but she'll eventually move on. You also aren't doing her a favor by staying with her out of guilt. Some day, she will thank you for it. Good luck and remember that sometimes we have to hurt those we love in order to find happiness, our place in this world.
     
  6. Zthirtytwo

    Zthirtytwo New Member

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    Yep my feelings exactly, i think its unfair to her at this point to stay with her. As for in person thats a must, need to make the exhange of personal property we each left at each others place. Is it a good idea to do it at her house (instead of at my house making her drive all the way to just get dumped)?
     
  7. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    Go to her house but before you go to her house, tell her that you guys need to have an important talk. Just prepare for the worst...she may fall apart, beg you to stay, try to physically hurt you, etc. Being 18, I assume you are probably her first real boyfriend so she's going to take it very hard.
     
  8. Zthirtytwo

    Zthirtytwo New Member

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    First this long, i expect begging and threatening and most certianly accusations of cheating on her. But im not her first LTR, but i am her longest (and shes my first real serious one too).
     
  9. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    Just keep your cool no matter what she says/does. If things get ugly, leave the scene as soon as possible. People say it hurts to get dumped but truthfully, it can also hurt to end a relationship especially when the other person wants to "work things out" but your mind/heart is just no longer in it.
     
  10. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    short, sweet, honest and at her place. dont stick around and argue, or compromise, or even agree to remaining "friends." give her the news, and get out of there. let her have her historonics on her own time.

    as for befor/after her cruise, i dunno.
     
  11. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Tell her it's over, and then reframe with: 'thanks for all the wonderful memories' then leave and don't answer your phone or email or whatever.

    Remove it like a band-aid. Fast and relatively painless.
     
  12. Zthirtytwo

    Zthirtytwo New Member

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    Yep thats how i see it. thanks for the advice, i just hope it isnt "too" bad tommarow when i tell her
     
  13. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    I agree with most everything posted, but being a girl...tell her after the cruise. It will totally devastate her and ruin her time....more so than being allowed be free and do whatever on the cruise with her friends. Both will hinder her somewhat, but being broken up with is the far worse of the two evils...so if it were me I'd wait until after. :)
     
  14. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    The longer you wait, the worse it will be. Do it now.

    There is NEVER a good time.
     

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