Ending it

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by [AWD] Major Dumps, May 8, 2006.

  1. [AWD] Major Dumps

    [AWD] Major Dumps ahhhh this is a good dump

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    4,326
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    All like close to Seattle and shit
    I've been going for over a year and a half and I love my girlfrend very much. Which puts me in an akward position: I'm tired of it all.

    I want to get away and experience new things. Being young (20), I know I haven't sampled my options thoroughly enoug and I don't want to end up stuck in some commitment situation that has no fun in it.

    My girlfriend is a joy to be around and a great person to talk to. She is everything I could want (except the body) in a person. But not right now. At this age, I want to see what else there is.

    I know she'll hate me for ending it all, and I know she won't understand. Knowing that, I guess I have forgotten the fact that this forum is no help in anything regarding relationships.

    So I guess I'm just in here for moral support or some such. So let's have it.


    cliffs: i'm going to end an otherwise happy relationship that i believe has gone stale.
     
  2. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2005
    Messages:
    3,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    i was in the same boat, except i was 19, been with g/f for 2yrs.. One day, i just foned her up and said "i cant do this any more, i cant be with you any more" and that was it.

    I then ignored all of her calls/txts/calls from her mum, EVERYTHING. Just to put her out of my mind.

    That being said, i was unhappy for 6months and it took me ages to build up the courage because i knew she'd be devastated and hate me :(
     
  3. [AWD] Major Dumps

    [AWD] Major Dumps ahhhh this is a good dump

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    4,326
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    All like close to Seattle and shit
    well then i guess i should go through with it.
     
  4. scent of a wookie

    scent of a wookie OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2004
    Messages:
    13,244
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western, MD
    why end something so good?
     
  5. [AWD] Major Dumps

    [AWD] Major Dumps ahhhh this is a good dump

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    4,326
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    All like close to Seattle and shit
    because it's not good.
     
  6. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Messages:
    11,133
    Likes Received:
    8
    What's wrong with her body?
     
  7. cluster5

    cluster5 New Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2006
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Québec, Canada
    Something you got to do what you got to do. Its your values, not someone elses. They say beauty is on the inside, if that's not you then its not you. If you need more or something diffenrent and that's what you really feel, do it.

    Cheers!

    PS: I know I wouldn't be happy with the nicest person if she was ugly or what ever freak.
     
  8. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2006
    Messages:
    2,272
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mill Ave baby, TEMPE AZ
    You have no reason for this. It's not justified whatsoever. You're basically saying you love it all (besides her body), but you want to end it just to see what else there is? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. People like you are the people who cause drama in the world today. Everybody wants to "see what else there is" when really, what you have is fine. Don't do it -- trust me. It's stupid and worthless. Few months down the road, you'll realize the mistake and want her back. What you need is a break for a few months. Tell her "Listen, I don't want you to get angry at me but hear me out. Lately, I feel the relationship has gone stale. It's possibly because we have been too close for too long and are binded towards each other to an extent that it's gotten boring. I'm not asking to end this at all, but we need to fix things before it gets to the point where we can't be together anymore. We need to have a break for a few months, where we stop talking completely. After a few months of not having or seeing each other, I'll realize how much more I love and need you and be happy once again".

    Trust me. Unless there's a problem, don't do it. Don't fix what isn't broken.
     
  9. [AWD] Major Dumps

    [AWD] Major Dumps ahhhh this is a good dump

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    4,326
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    All like close to Seattle and shit
    we finally get the devil's advocate in here. i've been looking for that for a while now. and i'm not the reason there's drama these days. if we were in ot, i would expand.

    i wouldn't want to be stuck with a honda if i discovered that volvos were so much better. etc.
     
  10. bmwe30

    bmwe30 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've been in that same boat a couple of times...

    Never really been single, and have never been one to sleep around etc etc. I was always fortunate in that my gf's (there have been two, one lasted three, the other lasted four years, in the time since i was 15. I'm 22 now) always trusted me and I partied lots, so it's not to say I was bored, i've just never been free to fool around and stuff.

    When I broke it off with the last one things were basically fine but I had that worried that if I didn't get out and mess around just for the sake of being young and 'sewing my wild oats' I would regret it. Honestly, a year later it is still hard to say whether or not it was a good choice. Things were great, and one thing I've learned since is that someone that genuinely cares about you and makes you happy is pretty hard to find, bUT, once you have the thought that you'll be better off without someone, it'll stick in your mind until you actually end it. it's one of those things that once you consider it there's no going back.

    I'd say end it, if you're thinking it now. Part of you might regret it either way but if you stick around just for the sake of keeping a decent relationship going you'll waste time and always end up wondering what you coulda done by cutting loose.
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    you should tell her why. make it brief if you want, but tell her.
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    that's the meanest thing i've ever heard. :wtc:
     
  13. Mateo

    Mateo New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2004
    Messages:
    204
    Likes Received:
    0
    I had been dating this chick for about three years (this was about a year ago). I loved her and she really loved me, but it was long distance (she was a three hour drive away) and between the distance, having never been with anyone else, and I was moving even further away and kinda starting a new life (new school, quite my job of five year, move away from all my friends) and didn't think I would have time for a relationship (she was very needy) I decided to end and try to just be friends. This was while she was home from college over the summer so I told her I just wanted to be friends, but she interpretted that as "i don't love you anymore" and "i don't want to ever see you again." she left and we talk a little bit over aim the next week but it was kinda weird, then I went on a road trip for a month and talk to her a couple of times at the begining, but then I couldn't find a place with internet or cell phone service (the road trip was mostly to national parks) so by the time i got back I hadn't talked to her in two weeks. The night I got back, she was drunk and told me flat out that she slept with another guy like three times two weeks after I broke up. It felt like she stabbed me in the back, regardless of whether it was cheating, we were still trying to be friends, and then I fell into the trap only remember the good things and really missing her, and tried to make it friends with benefits type relationship, but nothing much change since when we were dating. And now its getting to the point where I am going to have to crush her feelings again.

    My advice to you, if you break it off, sever all connection at least until she or you have totally moved on otherwise you will be sucked back in. That being said, there is no going back she'll probably understand and be very hurt, but she won't hate you. And now that I am not spending all my energy on her I think i have become a much better person; I have been able to focus only on myself and really figure out who I am and what I want to do, and I don't have to worry about anyone but myself for the most part. For good or bad, I am happy with my decision.
     
  14. tominos

    tominos New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2004
    Messages:
    897
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    mothafuckin werd.

    this happened to me a few months ago. basically broke up with my gf of 1.5 years, mutual breakup, started missing her again..

    don't fall back into that trap, just end it now.

    you say its a perfectly good relationship, but if it's stale it's, you just gotta move on. no matter how hard it is.
     
  15. xkenshinx

    xkenshinx New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2006
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    0
    my gf broke up with me after 2 1/2 years just 2 weeks ago...it seemed out of no where too. things were going good but she said she wanted to break up...i cant stop thinking about her now and i dont know what to do. we still talk and see each other at times to just hang out but she just says she has no more feelings but everytime we see each other i feel like there's something there again. i dont know what im trying to say, just giving the you the view of someone in the opposite position i suppose. instead of being the breakup-er like you, im the one heartbroken. i just think if there's no clear reason just take a break, see if it works out and see if you can reignite the flame. if you werent ready for commitment then why did you get iwth her anyways you know? by doing that, thats unfair to her and you shouldnt be looking for relationships with others if you're not ready to commit to them right? just my .02.
     
  16. midori-kiri

    midori-kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2006
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    From my experience, even if a person is fun to talk to and great, you have feelings for them or you don't. And while I have dumped and been dumped, I know you have to go on a lot of dates in order to find someone that you have feelings for and someone who reciprocates in the same way.

    But, if you do say goodbye to this woman, be gentle. It sounds like she may have different feelings toward your relationship than you do. It may be ok to tell her that your feelings have changed. But in the case of almost all break-ups, unless the dumpee has done something really terrible/gross/violates local ordinances, the dumper must make sure to blame themselves. That way, if she is a decent girl (and it seems so, most of us are) at least she can say that you were honest. And that is admirable, IMO.
    Just think about it for a day or two.
     
  17. The_otherguy

    The_otherguy New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2004
    Messages:
    95
    Likes Received:
    0
    I broke up with someone this same way.. i regrett it still, and it was over 3 years ago. We are still friends however but it was the dumbest thing i've done relationship wise.
     
  18. midori-kiri

    midori-kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2006
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    I see your point. It tough sometimes, I think, to have exes that are friends. I guess I always worry about an ex saying something about you that could really bite you in the butt. But yeah, when when I chat with someone I've dated, it can be weird.
     
  19. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,955
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    Well, the only problem is that you want to end it for the wrong reasons. Your body is the easiest thing to change. Most people have the ability to reach their target weight within a year healthily if they have the motivation and drive. If what you want is to experience dating other girls, maybe you should talk to her about seeing other people.
     

Share This Page