SRS End of a LTR, My Story.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by timmay556, Aug 10, 2007.

  1. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

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    I'm 20 and missing my ex of 5 years. We Lived in our own flat for 2 years, had a dog n everything, both worked full time.
    We had a VERY deep and loving relationship but over the past 7 months or so have grown a part a bit and she found someone behind my back and started cheating on me with him - full blown (for around 3-4 months). She had planned to move to London with the guy and be with him as she said she had fallen in love with him, even sold our dog and just walked out of our flat.

    I found out about this around 5 weeks ago and my heart is really hurting. But I have learnt a lot of lessons from this and things that I did wrong and things that I missed.

    I have had a few e-mails between us since I found out but she has sold her phone and disappeared so it is hard to get ahold of her. I got a hold of the guy in London when he go back (we live in Auckland, New Zealand) and told him about all this and he was shocked as she was telling him that she was single and certainly didn't have a SO and he has broken it off from her.

    One of the mistakes I made was I made her my life, my relationship with her was my everything, family/friends didn't matter as long as I had her - I was not clingy and held on to every word she said etc, but I didn't have enough of a life outside of the home other then work and going to a mates house. So I have had a huge task just trying to adjust my self to the new situation. But I am using a few tools to change the way I feel about my self and my life (chapter 8 in "Feel The Fear And Do It Any Way" Book), also taking a 45 minute power walk every day along with sit ups and push ups.

    I am having a really hard time with my heart just breaking for some love from another person that isn't a family member and with my head just being empty and not really having much idea on what I want to do, and how to fully deal with the situation.

    I know I have missed somethings as it is REALLY complicated, I will add a few things later on.

    Cliffs: LTR with girl, cheated on me in a BIG WAY. Im just looking for people to know my story and to have someone "neutral" to talk to
     
  2. RMarks

    RMarks New Member

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    She sold your dog? What a fucking whore.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    cold and heartless.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Poor puppah. Doesn't get to live with either one of his parents, just gets sold. Hope he or she went to a good home.
     
  5. nwmrkt

    nwmrkt New Member

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    the dog selling was cold, what exactly do you want to talk about?
     
  6. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

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    Yeah it is, I just feel like she hasn't realised what she has done to me because she has already "felt love" in another relationship and moved on from that one so is already past me. I am also annoyed that she still doesn't realise what she has done to me, the insecurities she has now given me for one. I also feel like I "have I lost the best thing I will ever have?" etc, all those thoughts are running thought my mind.

    I guess I just need to tell someone and to get all the shit out of my head on on to "paper".
     
  7. nwmrkt

    nwmrkt New Member

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    let it out then
     
  8. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    I feel your pain.

    It doesn't matter how long, it always sucks to find out that your girlfriend was cheating on you.

    However, at least she's gone. You'll never hear from her again. It's almost easier that way. The girl I split with (was with her for ~5 years) and I are still good friends, in fact, we just spent the last 5 days together on a trip hashing out all the bullshit that was created between us. It's hard to go back through the relationship piece by piece and realize all the times where you both went wrong, but in my case, it was needed. We were good friends before things went astray, and are good friends once again. Good friends who know we both fucked up and can never have the other back. So now that we feel better about it, it's even harder. I think I'd rather be bitter and hateful. It helps during a breakup to assign blame.

    Anyway...my heart hurts too. But just know that once you get over this shit, someone else will come along and make you feel much better than you ever did with her. And you know what? You'll be ready for it, and be able to employ the knowledge that you have learned about yourself to the next relationship.

    Onward and upward.

    Oh...and she really was a cold hearted bitch for selling your dog. My bad for the slight hijack.
     
  9. lord1234

    lord1234 New Member

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    she should really die in a fire....cheating on you sucks..but selling your dog?! what a bint.
     
  10. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    No way. Any chick who would cheat on you like that, sell your dog and then run off with the other guy doesn't deserve to be missed. Be glad it didn't happen 10 years from now when you could have been married with kids. Sounds like she just wasn't mature enough for a stable relationship and tried to make things more exciting by sneaking our and running off with some dude. You don't need someone like that.

    Learn from it, forgive her (for your own sake), but realize that you're better off without someone like that and focus on yourself for a while.
     
  11. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

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    She sold your best friend. :wtc:
     
  12. rtzcom

    rtzcom bon wons! fight slepa for life sone!~

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    I feel for you man...its just crushes you when you get cheated on. You're doing the right thing and you'll be fine.

    I'm glad you learned a lot from the experience. The pain will be there, but it will be forgotten. The lessons however will make you a better person.

    EDIT: Verdiocchi suggested to forgive her. Do it. It's counter intuitive but when I did that it lifted a lot of emotional burden from me. I just felt better. Doing so would save you from dwelling in anger and hatred for her. I tried staying angry, and its very very exhausting. Let things go, and let karma have it's way with the bitch.
     
  13. poonharpoon

    poonharpoon New Member

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    damn dude, i have been with my girl for about 4 years now. and im not sure what i would do in that situation, but if she sold my dog, i would bitch slap her.

    the only advice i can give to you is this:

    move on, focus on yourself, and find out what makes you happy. get a hobby or two (which it sounds like you already did.) find things to fill that time that you would have normally been with her. and what doesn't kill can only make you a stronger and better person. both emotionally, and physically.
     
  14. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

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    Thanks for the replies guys, I haven't considered forgiving her but that is something that I can think about.

    What should I do if in 6 months time she approached me and tells me shes changed and would like to start dating again? Should it be an instant no?

    I think I know in my heart I could never be just friends with her anymore, It would need to be nothing or everything.
     
  15. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    Don't take this the wrong way, but are you effing retarded?

    Under no circumstances should you ever take that bitch back. I don't say this often, but damn if you aren't better off without her.
     
  16. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    :werd: she sounds like a psycho bitch.... she pulled this shit once, what would stop her from doing it again? plus, she sold your FUCKING DOG!
     
  17. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    :rofl: I just told my bf about this thread and he said "If you cheated on me, it would really suck- but if you sold my dog, I'd go to jail over your ass."

    Timmay, don't go back to her. It's not worth it and not matter what she says, she'll do it again.

    Go get another dog and a new flat and start over. I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Good luck and Godspeed hun :hsd:
     
  18. ay0

    ay0 New Member

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    Hey mate, everything is NOT what it seems. Trust me. We live in a shitty world. The only thing that comes first is you, because life is what YOU make it. You CANNOT find happiness in the opposite sex simply because its NOT real. Its just a fake word that DOES NOT exist.

    Out genetic makeup as a MAN is to fuck as many girls as he can. We cannot stay with 1 girl the rest of our lives. The reason why wimps get into relationships is because they CANNOT handle the truth. They fear being alone is the wrong way to live. Well, they're just fearing fear itself because FEAR is controlling them so they settle down with someone they never really loved in the first place and was more like LUST.
     
  19. MudRacer4x4

    MudRacer4x4 New Member

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    exactly. its really hard and will take time but your better off without her. look at it this way. atleast u found out sooner then later
     
  20. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    wow, someone is bitter :hsugh:
     
  21. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

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    Cheers for all the advice guys, I've been to town on fri/sat night and got hit on by a chick on Friday night that turned out to be like 27 (I'm 20 lol) so she wasn't keen, but then these 2 girls came up to me on sat night and we danced and talked heaps all night (got out of the club at like 5:30am and went for coffee etc) Gonna hit her up for dinner and shit this coming Friday - She wants me to come back to her flat and have a look at her computer (I'm in IT).

    I have a huge smile on my face right now - Confidence +9001
     

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