the past few days have beena blur. i get a call sat morn from my aunt (my moms sis) saying that my other aunt (my moms sis-in-law) is in ICU since wed and may not make it. im furious that my mom didnt call me straight away. she says she was trying to figure out how to tell me because she knows i have a close relationship with my aunt. my mom didnt want to tell me because she didnt know how i would react, as i am bipolar. whatever. my aunt went missing for a day and a half before the police found her. she was/is in a coma and was on life support for 4 days. she started breathing on her own yesterday. she tried to talk to me yesterday. she squeezed my hand as well. i dont know whether or not to be hopeful that she recovers (as brain damage is pretty much inevitable) or to wish for her peaceful passing. im busying myself trying to make sure my cousin (her daughter) is coping. its all i can think of to do. im close to my aunt in so many ways. we share some of the same emotional issues (this incident was self inflicted); we have both dappled in suicide attempts and have problems with depression/substance abuse. im so fucking numb i cant sleep i have to make myself eat and i feel so useless. if we lose her i dont know what i'll do. thoughts?