SRS embarrassing problem with my family, need help/advice OT

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by deznutz, Jul 25, 2006.

  1. deznutz

    deznutz New Member

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    Ok here is the story.
    We live in a simple townhouse, 2 car garage, huge basement, 3 dogs and 4 family members. Overall we are a normal family.
    BUT, there is one problem. the house.
    My father has a problem. He keeps things and never throws anything away. Piles of papers and magazines he never reads fill the family room. Papers stack up in the kitchen, you can BARELY walk around in our basement, and its huge!!!!! Ive tried cleaning it but it never works, more stuff just keeps going down in the basement. The garage is also filthy. We can fit 2 cars in it but barely. The sides are filled with crap! I cleaned it last summer and its back to its old self. We have 2 cars we do not use, one in the garage and one parked on the driveway. The engine is basically dead with the car on the driveway. It is filled with papers and magazines from my fathers.
    Everytime i confront him about cleaning the house, he gets psycho and either starts yelling and takes the car and leaves or jumps around and goes in his room...
    My mother, does have a concern for a clean house, but she only agrees with me when he is not there. Or else when we do confront him, he gets testy again.
    The third thing is the dogs, we have a smaller house and have 3 dogs. We simply cannot have these many dogs, and i am telling them to not have 3 ever again, it gets way to dirty to fast in this house and its even hard to breath sometimes.


    Is there anything i can do as a son? I am 20 years old by the way. I am a very organized person and want to get this house organized for the future living conditions of my family!!!
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I'm not a doctor so i don't know the real medical term for it, but your dad is some kind of obsessive or depressed or something........basically only a doctor can help, there is nothing you or your mom can do. You can't just throw stuff away. You can't just "tell him" to clean it up. You need to tell your father's doc about this so he can address it (but I'm guessing he hasn't seen a doc in a lot of years, mainly because deep down he knows he's messed up).
     
  3. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Yeah sounds like he has one of those OCD type problems. Pretend to get rid of the useless stuff (hide it) see how he reacts- if its bad you can tell him you still have it, if its not him acting crazy get rid of it for real :dunno:
     
  4. Cougar2k

    Cougar2k New Member

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    My dad has this problem too. He also has a problem with buying cheap cars and cannot sell them because he "can't get what he wants for them". He has 9 cars, and has a 2 car garage and average driveway. The dog also always craps in the house and he never cleans it up, it's disgusting. Also, he's quite overweight so that just makes everything harder. I just don't know what to do, my parents are divorced, and i can't always be there because i'm off at college!
     
  5. illmaceyougood

    illmaceyougood New Member

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    There's a great show I see on MSNBC occasionally about "hoarders."
     
  6. deznutz

    deznutz New Member

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    My father is overweight as well.. Thanks for all the advice. I guess its out of my hands
     
  7. pixing

    pixing New Member

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    Dr Phil did a show about this a while ago - you might want to look up the message boards because it's a very serious problem that comes across as being silly or nutty.

    My mother-in-law is a hoarder. Because of the hoarding I've never even seen the second floor of their house because my husband says that all of the rooms are filled with "crap" and you cannot open the doors.

    I thought it would get really out of control when she bought a vacation home but for the most part it is OK - the main house is worse by far.

    For a while it seemed like she was cleaning stuff out, but now that her husband is very ill, it's ramping up again - for her it definitely aligns with stress.

    For her and some other hoarders the things that she cannot get rid of have a value - to someone - but if you were to try and match up the goods with a donee, you are thwarted. She used to give us bags of junk for christmas and birthdays, we would usually just deposit it in our trash when we got home.

    The worst guy on the Dr Phil show had suffered a grievous loss (of his father) and he was unable to cope with the loss. He was depressed and therefore unable to make even simple decisions about his life and the "things" that piled around him.

    Your dad is probably depressed but I suppose he wouldn't like you to tell him that he should seek medical help. Therapy to find the root of this is best, but an anti-depressant might help lift the fog.

    Gather up some articles from magazines or from on-line and show him. Tell him that you want to help him get out of the cycle, don't be confrontational - maybe try to get a copy of one of the shows that have been on TV. Good luck - just throwing out stuff when he's not looking won't solve the problem.
     
  8. fear my vagina

    fear my vagina New Member

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    i have ocd and it sounds your dad has a symptom of that.
    the best thing to do is go to a doctor. Because i have
    an obsession with keeping things clean and if someone
    messes things up i flip! But i got a doctor and it helped
    me in a sense. atleast not to blow up at others.
     
  9. Accord

    Accord New Member

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    I think I saw something about this on Oprah once.
     
  10. redna

    redna New Member

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    Move out. You're 20 now.
     
  11. iceburgslim

    iceburgslim Guest

    Move out. It your dad's house and he can do as he pleases with it. Since you're trying to tell him how to run it you have clearly outgrown your place in his household and should move on. Any other dumb questions?
     

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