Eh, not sure whats wrong.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Touyamikage, Sep 11, 2007.

  1. Touyamikage

    Touyamikage Lost in a Dream

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    So I know my post count is low. maybe I am a troll on here, more than anything I think its more I only post when I have something valid to say.
    But right now, I need to vent....rant.....just bitch or get some help. I'm not really sure.

    Really a long story short. I'm 27, and live in the D.C area. I work an OK job but don't make a lot of money by any means, but I'm ok with that. I care more about moments than money, friends are more important before finances.
    Well, the past 3 or so years I have been really in a slump with girls.
    I lived in Key West for 2 years after I got out of a serious relationship where I was dump for another guy but she still wanted to be friends and really fucked with my heart.
    I did have a problem with sex, getting it or anything, but the problem is...I really don't want that. I have a serious desire for a relationship but it seems every girl I talk to either wants to fuck on a first date and base our relationship off that or girls are turned off by my lifestyle. I'm just frustrated, I'm a gentleman in some senses, but I am into punk rock, and anime. To me being in love and happy is better than being rich and alone.
    Maybe I am just an idiot for thinking that girls will love a guy for being himself and not for the money or what not. I was an ESL teacher for 3 years and loved every minute of it. My GF at the time always got on me about how I worked 2 jobs and was poor. Maybe that really fucked up my
    mind. I'm not sure. Sorry for the rant, it was a hard weekend and i've been drinking since I got off work. Just frustrated right now and needed to get it off my chest since I don't know anyone really in the area I live.
     
  2. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I'm sure this isn't the basis of your problems but I can't imagine any mature woman wanting to date a 27 year old has any interest in Anime. I understand you sort of like to live life and have fun, but IMO that is a little 'hippyish'. At your age woman are starting to look to settle down a bit I think, and dating someone who is stable is crucial. I'm humble enough to admit there is a ton I don't know about relationships but that's just my take on things. At 17-20 you could get away with wanting to go to a rock show and watching anime, but being older I think you need to look for more adult things.
     
  3. Touyamikage

    Touyamikage Lost in a Dream

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    Possibly, I have a lot more interested than that. reading, sports, blah blah. I'm just tired of faking something I'm not or what people expect of me. Been there, done that hasn't payed off. Some guys like football all their lives, I like cartoons and art. *shrug*
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    There are TONS of adults that are into anime. The interest alone isn't his problem.
     
  5. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    If you like all these other things maybe try joining a small sports team or something. I know in my area there are (or used to be) a few groups of people who would play Ultimate Frisbee with each other 1-2 days a week. I never joined one but it seems like a good way to meet new people and if it's something you enjoy you might find someone who's equally passionate about it.
     
  6. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    What exactly do you mean "base your relationship off that"? I'm getting the feeling you are a bit quick to judge women and put them into a category that doesnt work for you (maddona/whore, or whatever you want to call it)
     
  7. Touyamikage

    Touyamikage Lost in a Dream

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    I'm actually very open about people. Its just in the past few years I have had a string of really bad relationships where I feel I put in a lot more than I got out of it. I had a rough weekend and drank after work last night so my main message is probably a whole bunch of confusing.

    It seems that every girl I end up dating it goes well for the first few months, then after that its suddenly they want me to start changing a whole bunch of crap in my life. I just need to /rant a lot, I don't really have any good friends where I live, been away from home way to long.
     
  8. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you have to learn to just be stronger. Women will always try to change men and always have. Thats simply what they do and you have to accept that. instead of feeling bad or pressured, you need to learn to just be confident and strong. If you are doing what you like and living life your way, then when they try to change you you should be able to tell them you have no intention of changing and if they don't see why you live the way you do then they don't understand what is important to you.

    I know its a lame cliche, but people can only take advantage of you when you let them. Figure out what you are doing that lets these women feel like they can get away with putting in so little to the relationship. Reevaluate how you decide how much to put into a relationship. If you have had a string of similar problems, it stands to reason that the problem is you. Change some things, experiment, find out what works.


    just for reference... don't sweat the small stuff. I'm 27 I still go to punk shows and while i may not be a huge anime fan myself, i have definitely used my roomates insaneo huge anime collection to get girls over to my house before.
     
  9. Touyamikage

    Touyamikage Lost in a Dream

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    Thanks Antihero, I think the fact I don't have anyone here in DC to get a drunken pity party with and being away from home for so long kinda took its toll on me.
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    This is false. Do anime. Do whatever. I just taught my lover magic the gathering and she is hooked. Magic the gathering.

    If you want a relationship with a woman, fuckin her on the first date is a fine way to get that. Perceived correlations between girls who fuck on day 1 and guys getting fucked over by them are superstition. Lots of guys get fucked over, look for something to blame, conclude it was because the girl was "easy" or because she was blonde or because her dad was overbearing.
     
  11. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Quitting your hobbies like anime might help you get a women faster (since that's not exactly a common interest that women the average women would find appealing) but it won't help you find a woman that suits who you really are. Be confident in yourself, no matter who that is.

    I agree with this too. I hooked up with my current SO on the first date (didn't sleep with him that night but we both lost a bunch of clothing and I slept over) and we're still going strong. He could tell from my personality that I actually have things to offer and I'm not a stupid whore. He knew I was hooking up with him because I genuinely liked him and not because I'm easy.

    That said, you have to be careful with that kind of situation. He and I really clicked so hooking up wasn't forced and we didn't judge each other because of it, but that's not always the case.
     

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