for most of my life i was completely despondent and found escapism in video games, porn, the internet, alcohol, drugs, aimless 'fun', etc. it wasn't until this year that i decided to get more proactive with my life and made it my mission to get more involved. I joined a soccer league, got an extra job, started to volunteer in my community, met new people, and it has really helped me I never noticed how much I changed until I met up with an old friend. he was rambling on about putting more RAM into his computer and some new kind of electronic coming from Japan to here and whereas before i would've humored him, i couldn't help but feel totally here i was having a conversation about fuckin trinkets when over the last couple of months i've met and dealt with people who have gone to Iraq and Afghanistan or done other things and have made complete adventures out of their lives. my over all point is that maybe we should spend less time analyzing life and more time living it. over and out.