SRS dunno what to do with my current gf.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by rYu, Mar 11, 2009.

  1. rYu

    rYu OT Supporter

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    my girl friend is 6 years older, and she is a great woman. but every time we get into an fight, she out levels my mind and thoughts. its just too much for me to handle. there is no room for me to breathe. she complains about every little thing that i do... i do love her though..

    have you guys ever had gf that was older than you and had similar experience? how did you handle? how did it go?
     
  2. percent

    percent deluded

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    age and intelligence don't correlate.
     
  3. Hegemon

    Hegemon New Member

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    she's smarter than you and dominates your speech and debate skills? I dont understand. :dunno:
     
  4. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    if she complains about everything you do now its never going to change...dump or deal with it some women just love to nitpick
     
  5. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

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    I really haven't been in your particular situation but general rule is that the woman is always "right" - get used to it
     
  6. Troy

    Troy New Member

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    pfft, doesn't matter about the age gap, women out talk us during fights...Never found one yet to admit being wrong.
     
  7. Troy

    Troy New Member

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    Amen brother!:sadwavey:
     
  8. yourfather

    yourfather New Member

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    look, this is my 1,000th post, so I'm going to try and make it a useful one...

    I think that if you are having difficulty standing up to your girlfriend you will probably need to do some work on your personality or on your self confidence.

    The reasons why I say this - you aren't less intelligent than her, it's just that

    1) women are naturally programmed to be better conversationalists
    2) she has probably been practising or thinking about what she wants to say and how to say it or
    3) she does this so often and has figured out what triggers work on you and what events/situations shut you down and put your defence up.

    What you need to do is assess as to whether this woman is worth your time, and you need to reassert yourself as the dominant person in the relationship.

    I understand and appreciate that this may be difficult and it could cause some problems, but from what you are saying it appears that you're already getting chewed out on a regular basis so it's not too much of a departure from the status quo.

    So, you're probably thinking, gee yourfather why are you saying this... well, what you have to understand is that although I've been married for only a short while, basically what I had to learn was that although I love my wife very much, I have to be very careful about letting her get through to my emotions and feelings and letting her know my triggers.

    When we first started dating if she cried i'd try and listen to her, until I realised that these behaviours are not actually emotions that she has because she is upset, it's because she is trying to make me do something.

    Then I came to the realisation that women aren't really that emotional of a creature, it's that they like manipulation and attention. What she is trying to do is beat you into submission so she can either manipulate you or get more attention from you.

    As I said previously, the best advice on how to fix this situation is to become a real alpha male, and she'll crack it, she'll yell and kick and scream and it might end your relationship, but you have to assert who the leader in this relationship is, and that you are there by choice. This will make her everlastingly loyal to you and you are no longer a doormat to be walked upon.

    Now, that being said, in no way am I saying abuse her, swear at her or treat her in any poor way. I'm saying, get in control of your emotions, get more prepared for what she is going to say and get her off balance.

    Show that you are the stronger one in the relationship, because if you aren't able to prov to her that you are a real man she will fuck you off and date someone else, and you'll be upset about it, but in typical woman fashion, by the time you've broken up she's already over you and is just going through the motions.
     
  9. Troy

    Troy New Member

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    I have nothing to add to this, well said.
     
  10. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    Sad but true :wtc:
     
  11. rYu

    rYu OT Supporter

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    thanks for the sincere reply, yesterday night was the night. every little thing that i was holding it down just came out. it came out like it was train from hell,all she did was standing there with :eek3: look of a face.
     
  12. T-R-T

    T-R-T New Member

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    My gf used to fucking own me when we had arguments because I just couldn't keep track of my thoughts when she would jump from thing to the next nor could express myself the way I wanted. Over time I've gotten better though you just need to practice and actively work on it.
     
  13. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    So what happened after she gave you that look?
     
  14. rYu

    rYu OT Supporter

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    nothing man, i just walked away.
     
  15. fyh

    fyh New Member

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    any pics of her ?
     
  16. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    How have things been since you said your peace?
     
  17. Mulsanne

    Mulsanne The Man = Funk Fusion Chaos

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    piece
     
  18. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    No, it's peace.
     
  19. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Hopefully he got a "piece" after he verbally pimp slapped her. :rofl:
     
  20. Foot Soldier

    Foot Soldier New Member

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    :eek3: holy crap!

    now i came in here thinking to be some help, instead im here taking notes. :bowdown:


    well said and nuff said.



    Also in for what happened after the :eek3: look.
     
  21. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    if you react to a womans actions she will obtain the role of the dominant character in the relationship.

    if you simply dont react and look at her and say "are you finished now?" and walk off with a smile you have just stripped her of all her dominance, over time she will become submissive assuming you maintain the role of the dominant male in the relationship.


    Not bullshit, just fact.
     
  22. Ichabod Crane

    Ichabod Crane Active Member

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    .
     
  23. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    God I feel the same way. I feel like I have a structured argument to counter whatever she says, but then once we start fighting I feel like I slowly lose more and more ground, and then I lose track of everything I say. It's like she always has a better response, and now its gotten so bad I don't think I have gotten any of my points across in our arguments. Fucking women man..
     
  24. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I find silence works well, once the conversation has gone from "the issue" to "the egos."

    I'll sit down at a table and talk about things, but the moment I get the impression that someone is trying to push their opinion to dominate me, I'll sit silently. My peace of mind is worth more than my need to "be right." I figure it's best to let them think they're right, because if I really am right, they'll find out on their own and if I'm wrong, I didn't make myself look stupid by acting like I wasn't.
     
  25. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    Yeah, the ego's definitely take over and then it feels like if I sit silent, she claims I don't care. I like this advice though, I will have to try it.
     

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