SRS Dumped her, now she's with a new guy. I'm jealous...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by SFA, Jun 29, 2005.

  1. SFA

    SFA This is what revenge sounds like.

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    (Cliffs at the bottom...)
    But I know I have no right or reason to be jealous. Basically, I was with this girl since October. She dumped me on New Year's Eve, and I made a huge post about it in here. Getting dumped was great because it spurred me on to losing about 50 lbs through diet and excersize (sp?). But, that's not really pertinent here.

    Her and I got back together 2 weeks after she dumped me. I can't say I was ever REALLY happy with her the 2nd time around, but we were both going to the same college and basically spent every night together, had the same friends, etc. As the semester drug on I started to feel like I was going through the motions of the relationship. When school let out for the summer, we both moved back to Dallas with our parents. She's a freshman with 3 more years left, I'm a senior with a semester of student teaching left until graduation. Our parents live about 40 minutes away from each other, so the drive wasn't THAT bad, but I finally got the courage up to end the relationship, basically because a) I wasn't really happy anyway b) she's going back to school, 3 hours away, in August and c) I'm most likely not moving back to the area I went to college in. I figured I might as well cut my losses now.

    Anyways, to shorten this a bit. It's been about 3 weeks since the split and she's with a new guy that she'd been talking to online regularly while we were still together. That really irritates me. I know that I created this situation and I have to live with my choice, and I know for sure I don't want her back, but the fact that she's with some guy that I always suspected she had a thing for really burns me up. I read her blog posts about how great he is, and it makes me miss her, because she was a great girl, never really did a whole lot wrong.

    The worst part of this is that I would rip someone else a new one if they told me this kind of story, because this is a bullshit thing to be pissed off about, but I can't help it, I'm hypocritical about this one situation. I really have no interest in trying to date anyone else right now simply because it is a hassle to me and I'm not ready to deal with all the BS that comes along with dating.

    I've tried blocking her from everything like aim, myspace, xanga, all that crap, but I still think about her and get upset when I hear about how great this new guy is. I guess I'm just lonely. Any of you ever deal with this before? It is rediculous of me to even post this, but I just have to type this out somewhere to get some feedback.

    Cliffs: Dumped an awesome girl because I was bored of the relationship and because our lives are going to 2 totally different directions. 3 weeks after the split she's with a new guy that I'd suspected her of liking all along. I'm pissed/jealous about it but have to justifiable reason to feel that way. Help?
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You feel what you feel. How are you not justified in missing something you no longer have, whether you were bored of it or not?

    Your feeling of loss is pretty normal and pretty typical. It's normal to have a small bit of regret, even though you seemingly "initiated" it, since whenever a recent ex hooks up immediately....well, let's just agree that it's not a nice feeling.

    It's nice to be missed, to think that maybe you had an impact in her life, and she pined -- even just a little bit.

    But you can also think that maybe because she was into you, that she quickly ran into another's arms so as to not be alone. Hey it's possible. So maybe you did mean something to her after all. Maybe even...a lot.

    See...it works both ways. Glass half full. Glass half empty. The decision is yours.
     
  3. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    Well I am not going to say that this new thing won't work at all, but it sounds like she is rebounding. Something way too many women do. It is natural to feel jealous/ hurt over it though. My ex called things off with me and I waited 4 months to date again, and he still got pissed. Just cope with it in a healthy way, go out with your friends, devote your life to something else, and the feelings will subside. Just don't go out and get into another relationship in retalliation, it will only hurt more (then involve hurting other people.)
     
  4. SFA

    SFA This is what revenge sounds like.

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    She admits to being lonely, that's why she went to this new guy. Same situation when she got with me. Some jerk dumped her and I was right there, willing to help pick up the pieces, except it turned into something meaningful and long term. I know that half of it is the fact that the guy is just right there and he's a pretty good guy i think, so it's convenient for her. I have no desire to even try and date anyone else right now, maybe because I'm not over her yet, but mostly because I just don't want to deal with any sort of relationship right now, I've got too much going for me.

    I just hate the fact that she is getting to me like this. I'm supposed to be the one who is happy right now, not miserable. She's winning this stupid little game because I am letting her get to me. I don't want to think about her anymore, but I just can't help it. With that said, I am going to work out.
     
  5. Agreed.
     
  6. There are no winners or losers here.
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Yup. The world just....is.

    Good, bad, winners, losers. Just labels.
    You broke up and you feel sad. Normal. Completely normal.

    Acknowledge that you're human and you have feelings, and then....move on.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You don't appreciate what you've got until its gone.
     
  9. SFA

    SFA This is what revenge sounds like.

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    Very true. I don't miss her per se, I just miss the feeling of being wanted, the feeling of unconditional love. That's a great feeling. But, our lives are going in 2 completely different directions. I know that the breakup is for the best for both of us, but this period of time right now sucks. Oh well, I went and had some drinks with my friends from work tonight so that was pretty nice. Tomorrow I'm going with them to the Rangers game. I just need more friends, that's all. :)
     
  10. Cheshire Cat

    Cheshire Cat New Member

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    ppl always want what they cant have and the fact she is seeing someone else b4 you just makes it harder as it would for her had u started dating first.

    i suggest dating (as in just dating no relationship worries), hangin with the guys, .... something to get ur mind in another direction :) maybe something high activity. basketball?
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2005
  11. SFA

    SFA This is what revenge sounds like.

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    I don't really want to date right now. I've been hanging out with work friends lately, and I go to the gym 6 days a week. It's hard not to read her myspace stuff and see all this stuff about her and this new guy. It's really hard, but I'm taking it one day at a time.
     
  12. Yeah, you need to knock that there right the fuck off my friend. Block her account, and stop. It'll do more damage than good if you continue reading it. That's some sound advice right here.
     
  13. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I agree completely.

    Yup. You'll just have to force yourself to disengage.

    No good will come of you "checking up" on her continuing exploits. She will continue to live her life, AS SHE SHOULD.
    It's pointless to read about whatever new guy she's into. So what. That's life. It's normal.

    What YOU should do, is start living your own life.

    You're just stalling your own engine by going over the details of HER life.
    Forget that. Done. Over. End. Back to your own life...starting......NOW.
     
  14. SFA

    SFA This is what revenge sounds like.

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    I agree. I'm just trying to do this one day at a time. It's getting easier by the day.
     
  15. Nadine

    Nadine New Member

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    I’m sorry.. But that’s so typically boys..
    So many of you think you own the girls you’re seeing. And when the relationship ends, you still think you own her..
    You ended the relationship, just get over it and let her move on.. You do the same ;o)
     
  16. SFA

    SFA This is what revenge sounds like.

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    This should be changed to say "people" not just "boys". Everyone feels like this at some point in their lives.

    I've never thought I've owned anyone. I still care about her, still have feelings for her. We basically lived together all of last school year and it was the most serious relationship I've ever been in, so this is a bit difficult for me.

    She just called 5 minutes ago. I didn't answer. Hooray.
     
  17. JustR

    JustR New Member

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    LIke the person above is implying that can be said about girls too. It really does work both ways
     

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