dumped because of myspace.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Ry1400, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. Ry1400

    Ry1400 New Member

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    Now i thought i really liked this girl. she was cool, and lived close to me, and it was great for three months. Starting january 24th i start getting comments from a random girl that is on my friends list. nothing special, jus tlike a "<3" or something. I start sending her comments back and, she replies like instantly. so i have like 15 comments from her. nothing serious, just the plain myspace comment bullshit.

    my EXgirlfriend wakes me up one night via cellular, and asks "whats the deal with this girl?" i tell her that ive never met the girl, and i just talk to her online. she said "ok"

    then i wake up to a myspace message from the EX. stating
    " Hey, I seriously hope that you are being 100% honest with me about that girl, but it still kind of bugs me that she leaves you all those comments...and some of the ones you left her. I might not have even noticed it, but one of my friends asked me if I'd seen it. I hope you can see where I'm coming from, because if not, we're most likely going to have some problems. "

    i reply

    "
    If you want me to be completly 100% honest. I laughed when i read this. I think its funny. I dont know why. when you woke me up last night, i wanted to reply "oh yeah, thats the girl im gonna go out with if we break up." Then i sat and thought about it for a while. 1) yeah she leaves alot of comments, and i reply sometimes with a "<3" or "sweet dreams"....so what? You obviously werent listening when I told you that she is Frustrated because she really likes "tim" in rowlett, and he keeps ditching her. My whole purpose with her these last 5 days have been to make her happy again. 2) I also have never met the girl. no reason to worry."

    she replies
    "
    I don't know either. Im just as confused as you are. And I didn't think it was that big of a deal w/ that girl or whatever but some of my friends..friends who are usually right about these things..thought differently and one of them said to call and ask you about it. I heard what you said about her being frustrated about that guy, but i'm a girl too. I know why girls do that crap.
    I never thought you would cheat on me either. I didn't think you had. Its just really weird for her to comment you and stuff that much..and then for you to leave it on there. I don't go around leaving comments on other guys pages..even my friends..like the ones you did. If I get a comment that shouldn't be from anyone but you, I delete it.
    If you want to work this out, I'm up for it."

    i leave to go to the other side of the metroplex to a disc golf tournament and i return home to this message. She goes to a party, on her birthday!

    "
    Hey,
    I've been thinking about everything the last couple of days and I think it would be best if we ended this relationship. The religion thing is part of it, but there's more to it than that. The whole thing with the girl-that's the biggest thing right now. She left you another comment saying "sorry last night was so crazy" or something like that. Don't know what that was about, and I don't really care either. All I know is that if she knows you have a girlfriend, she shouldn't be leaving you all those comments, saying what she says. I can't be with someone I can't completely trust and right now...I don't trust that you're telling me the complete truth. And the past few weeks you've just seemed really preoccupied. Even on the phone and online. I know why now..or I have an idea.
    I'm sorry, but I can't deal with stuff like this, and I'm not going to. I know you say you would never cheat, and like I said, I never thought you would either. Even if you don't see it as "cheating" it's still going on..and it shouldn't be.
    I would have called and told you all of this but I left my phone at home, and I'm at someone's house and I needed to get all of this out....now."

    i laugh my ass off, call some friends to joke about it, and reply with this

    "
    Suit yourself. FYI. I really like you, and it doesnt change overnight. I guess I can deal.

    You want the complete truth!?!! you have absolutely everything. If you think she shouldnt of left me those messages, seems like you should take that up with her. not dump the boyfriend. hell if i had a girlfriend and guys post "hey there, your hot/cute/etc." thats a fucking compliment, to know that others want what i have. damn i dont know what the deal is.

    This girl i met through Sarah, a girl i went to school with, and she also dated my friend blake. And technically i havent met her..... She messages me on myspace, and periodically on AIM. nothing more. oh and she comments a million times a day on EVERYONES PAGE, the girl lives on the net. Guess your "friends" didnt think to say to themselves "hey, ill check a random guys page and see if she comments the same towards them" because she does. especially if there her top 8, which im not even on.

    I feel sorry for the guys in your future that cant get myspace comments. thats what you had a problem with, myspace comments. let that soak it.

    but its no biggy.

    peace girl"

    and to really set it off i reply again with this

    "
    Oh and i just sent mae my number, maybe ill get a call?

    haha

    one can only hope"


    what the fuck, what a lame reason to leave someone. I dont need that, anyone who would leave someone over myspace.

    *****Cliffs*****
    EX girlfriend dumped me because a hot chick started leaving me messages, and she couldnt deal with that.
     
  2. Ultimate_Ninja

    Ultimate_Ninja New Member

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    Can't have your cake and it eat it too, dude.
     
  3. cobramadness

    cobramadness OT Supporter

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    Yea I know where you're coming from. Controlling, jealous type. Most people will say that if she can't trust you then dump her. But I can almost feel where she's coming from. Almost.

    I lost a gf of 3.5 years due to internet talk with girls. Maybe I said a few things that were worse than <3 but whatever. Goodluck with "Mae".
     
  4. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    You both seem kinda immature about the whole thing. Her for not trusting you and overreacting and you for not trying to talk it through reasonably. If you really liked her you'd try and make it up with her and try and sort something out, even if she is trying to be a bit controlling.
     
  5. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    If you really liked your GF you shouldn't be flirting or hanging out with other women, especially after she takes issue with it.
     
  6. Muerte

    Muerte New Member

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    What means <3 ?
     
  7. illenvillen008

    illenvillen008 New Member

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    heart or love
     
  8. Sueded

    Sueded New Member

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    myspace.....come on :down:

    If myspace was a person i would rape, stab, and eat it.
     
  9. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    dude....

    its normal for girls to flip out like this. she's not totally off target with her arguments, she's making sense. if you want to stay with this girl you either need to behave a bit more controlled on myspace...

    or whip your gf more. i can get away with shit like you pulled but you can't. no disrespect, im just saying its possible. its a very fine line and you have to play a lot of angles.

    you want advice for the next time? don't be sneaky. you should have put your gf to talk to this girl on AIM for a bit. introduce them but only over the net. use a 2nd screen name after that to talk to her and your normal one only when you're just joking around.

    yes, i understand you weren't looking for anything with this girl. but that is besides the point. she looks upon this as "pre-cheating". your way of controlling free life with other girls is to build a solid game plan and run it from day one, whether you're cheating/plan to or not. relationships are destabalized because of change so make sure when you get into one you foresee everything

    -have a lot of friend-girls
    -have friend-girls that want you but you've turned down without being explicit
    -have guys nights out
    -be "best friends" with an ex
    -etc

    if all this is established as part of who you are in the beginning you can play it safe from then on out, because she will have accepted it as the norm in the beginning. she went out with you knowing all this, accepting all the warning signs, but "you're such a sweetie!"

    example: if you're someone who never hangs out with girls alone and all of a sudden you hang out with one, she'll flip. if you regularly have coffee with three or four chicks, one more or less name down the list is background noise at most in a relationship.

    good luck.

    PS yes im evil
     
  10. Apothis

    Apothis New Member

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    It looked to me like you were blatantly putting the online girl at a higher priority than your actual gf. It may not be cheating, but it is a common precursor to it. When she expressed that it bothered her and you kept doing it, that only reinforced that feeling. I can understand where she's coming from; I'd be pissed too if my gf did that crap. When a problem arises in a relationship, if you actually care about your partner, you deal with it and resolve the problem ..and you don't do that by making your partner's feelings secondary to that of the person who is causing problems. You seem to just not give two shits about her feelings or the relationship you had. She was right to dump you.
     
  11. sipherx

    sipherx Jamesl.info

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    this is stupid. Move on and find the next girl.
     
  12. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    i completely agree. but on the other hand, you could have kept her and done what you want if you played your cards right (see above post)
     
  13. Apothis

    Apothis New Member

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    Relationships need compromise to work. She needs to show him consideration, and likewise, he needs to be considerate of her feelings. From what I read in this thread, he was just acting like a jerk who's gf wasn't as important to him as she should have been ..not as important as some misc online chick apparently. In here, he had to see there was a problem in the relationship and decide how to solve it. He had to weigh his priorities and ask himself who was more important: his gf or the new girl. He seems to have chosen the new girl as the higher priority. Thus, the relationship is understandably over.
     
  14. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    ok one how does she know about all the myspace comments. Does she have a myspace page as well (if she does she has no room to bitch) or does she know your user and pass and logging in and checking up on you. At any rate this girl sounds to be psycho. Though some of her points maybe valid. Does the internet girl leave comments like she does for you on everyone elses page? If she does than shes sounds like a tad bit of an attention whore, posting random stuff on pages so they will give her feedback. Beware the grass isnt always greener on the other side. The internet girl sounds awful young and immature if she is doing those types of things anyway.
     
  15. low20

    low20 Member

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    lol, myspace breakups....this is funny...i say that she shouldnt stalk u on myspace, and you prolly shouldnt be writing hearts and sweet dreams to other girls...wtf is that about? if u have a gf, usually u dont do that...u kinda got what was coming but she shoulda chilled a little..u shoulda quit it with the other chick tho.
     
  16. Ry1400

    Ry1400 New Member

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    yeah it is funny.

    I the thing is after she took the inital time to message and call me, i told her it was nothing.

    I left and had no computer that day, and i return home to her telling we have to end it because of the girl that sent me messages.

    Im not going out the "mae" or "the other girl".

    I never wanted to, she likes a guy who lives near me. so all i wanted to do was cheer her up.

    so i get dumped. its hit hard, and im just trying to play superman and play it all off
     
  17. Ry1400

    Ry1400 New Member

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    she has a myspace. her "friends" checked up on me and found a problem. internet girl"mae" has her profile private, so you have to be her friend to see it. again i dont want to go out with internet girl.

    internet girl, she is an attention whore, every person on her top 8 gets a million comments a day, and im not even on the top 8.
     
  18. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd: I don't blame her for dumping you, you acted like a total dick to her. Even if you don't agree with her, you could still give her the common courtesey of talking to her reasonably about it. You don't tell someone you care about that you "laughed when you read this" when they share their feelings with you.
     
  19. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    No... I'm sorry but this has nothing to do with jealousy. It has to do with communication. The fact of the matter was that you didn't respect your relationship enough to be open and upfront about it and when she found out you couldn't sincerely apologize NOT for doing it, but for keeping it from her. Let's HONESTLY be realistic about it... what, for the majority do people use myspace for? Doesn't necessarily mean you are playing in the pastures but it does not look good if you can't be open with her about it.

    To you, it may be no big deal but she had to find out through other people... Had you included her and let her know about this you would have flat out had no problem. If that's too much to ask for then your intentions aren't in the right place for a serious relationship about someone you truely care about. It should not have been a big deal.

    The fact that you take no responsibility in it and laugh about it because you could care less speaks for itself. Personally I think she's in the right. If it were me, I would have had no problem with it at all (and she would not have either) had you been upfront and shown her the comments rather than keep it all a secret from her and find out from other people... and then you act as if she's rediculous like you have no part in it. If you want a girl to be ok with the people you spend your time with then don't act as though you have things to hide from her. Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. She didn't make it a big deal. You did, by not including her... and that is all that I read in her responses.


    Bottom line... if you'd rather be Joe Cool and see no further than she's the only one all in the wrong... that's fine. Apparently you didn't see in her messages to you what your relationship was lacking, ie you're real problem is communication. Now at least she can find someone who is more considerate and not only that but shows her she is worth more than some random chick you've never met, that posts what is supposedly "meaningless" junk all over your page, which apparently you don't wish to show her or remove because it is that important to you dispite how disrespectful it is to her.

    Yeah sounds like wonderful relationship material. Lets jump all over that... :ugh2:

    You should be confident in your relationships and yes trust is a HUGE HUGE part but so is respect. If you respect and you care then you want nothing less than to communicate and above all try to better the situation and make it comfortable. Any girl with self respect will never stumble through a relationship blinded by someone not willing to communicate because all to often you get bit in the ass. That leads to "I don't give a fuck" which you obviously proved. Her loss? Nah..

    This isn't called jealousy, it's called smart.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2006
  20. gjunon

    gjunon OT Supporter

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    meh 90% of my buddies are female. It does nothing to my gf. as a matter of fact she is the first one on my friends list as she should be. basically what i am saying is the ex was just too immature to deal with it and that she did not trust you obviously. so it was a doomed relationship to begin with. my gf does not give me any shit what so ever for what i say and do on myspace because it all boils down to me seeing her on my time off and not those myspace girls.
     
  21. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    yo ry1400, you gotta be more sneaky my man.

    listen to NCS if you want to keep it pimping, my roommate does the same things, its god damn hilarious because it works for him.
     
  22. Ry1400

    Ry1400 New Member

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    not at all, on the second day of this happening, while on the phone with her, I brought it up. I said something along the lines of "did you see that ive started to get comments from that girl?" and then the next night she wakes me up and thats where the story in the first post starts. My bringing it to her attention, and then her discussion with friends, is what made her call back, and eventually break up.

    It sucks, and I really liked her. But im not gonna crumble and beg for her to take me back. Im trying to act as if im playing it off, and that it didnt bother me. Inside im struggling with this. In retrospect, I want it to look like she didnt hurt me. when she did, i have gave her no reason to not trust me. And basically our entire relationship was communication, that is all we had. She works 40hrs/wk and has 12 credit hours of school. I work 30hrs/wk and 12 credit hours of school. Different schools too! so all we did was talk on myspace and phone. Communication was good. I dont know what to think because its when i left for a tournament, and she goes to a party, and writes the breakup email at that party. and to her conveince(sp?) lost her phone at the same party.... i dont know what went on.

    also the comments are not private, they are easily viewable. She messaged me from my page daily.
     
  23. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Oh so you bragged to your girlfriend that another girl is hitting on you. Smooth!
     
  24. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Hence why I refuse to use that crap. People take it like the fucking constitution.
     
  25. justinhazard

    justinhazard New Member

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    My view on this has been flopping back and forth. Should your girlfriend get mad because you are talking to some chick on the net? it depends who your girlfriend is... She just wanted to be the only girl that you talked to like that with... which i think is understandable, saying things like your cute or <3 to the other girl could obviously make your girlfriend begin to wonder. Also you must not have cared to much for your girlfriend if you let her go that easy, you refused to comply with her wishes and basically said that this other girl was more important than what she had to say. It may have been as simple as not posting any more <3's on her myspace and your girlfriend may have been fine with it. On the other hand I can see how you may think WTF this is nothing, but in her eyes it obviously looks like something. If she was posting you're hot or cute or <3 on other good-looking guys myspace would you not start to wonder? I would and I would also be a bit jealous. You have to look at it from the other end of the stick and think of what it could look like.
     

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