SRS dumb ex wants to be friends and yet still act as if we're together

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Durka Durka, May 11, 2007.

  1. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    she lives 500 miles away and yet still pulls this shit.

    says she wants to just be friends, which i'm fine with, but she brings up stupid bullshit and drama as if i'm supposed to give a shit, when all i really care about is having a name on my aim list so i can bullshit when i'm bored.

    the fuck is wrong with people? seriously and why the fuck do i even put up with this at all, ever? i think i may be mentally handicapped.
     
  2. IMJ

    IMJ The Bitch

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    take her off your aim list...
    unnecessary drama
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    She's your ex. End story.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Going along on what other people said. Also convert more of your on-line time into real-time, spend time outside going to concerts/movies/expositions/sports/hobbies.
     
  5. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    yeah, i've been doing that a lot.

    honestly it's been a long time and i still haven't got over her, i guess i just need to try harder. :\
     
  6. LudaMan

    LudaMan Active Member

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    I'm in the same boat as you man :sadwavey:. Just take it day by day. Time heals all wounds.
     
  7. Schecter1277

    Schecter1277 hi

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    I HATE when people try to say "lets still be friends" after a relationship.(an actual relationship, not a one month fling)
    When you get into a relationship with someone you're no longer friends, in theory you never were. To say "well were not a couple" is to entirely change your perspective on someone and the human psyche just doesn't work that way. I may have no idea what I just said up there but I can tell you that it never works out, the best thing to do with ex's is just to not speak again.
     
  8. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    yeah, you're right. i should just never talk to her again. i haven't talked to her in a week actually, i should probably just keep it up. it sucks sometimes but i know in the long run it's for the best.
     
  9. Damn Dutchman

    Damn Dutchman New Member

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    Let me give you a tip you didnt see coming: maybe you are mentally handicapped!
     
  10. Lokish

    Lokish New Member

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    Who? Where did this comment come from?

    To the OP - you really should cut contact for a long time. I mean years really. It is possible for a ex-couple to end up being friends but it takes more work then most people are willing to put into it and it does take a lot of time.

    I know some people who are able to do this. It is because of the personalities of both people that they are able to maintain a friendship afterwards but in some cases it literally took years for them to get to that point. You ex doesn't understand that while you are trying to be her friends, that her drama should not be the topic of choice when you two talk. Keep it polite, civil and not about the more personal stuff. That's my opinion though.
     
  11. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    yeah that's basically what i try to do, just talk about whatever, be normal people and not talk about 'us' or why we talk to each other since it's irrelevant, but every once in a while she'll bring up some shit like she misses me, or ask me if i enjoy talking to her, or other conversation irrelevant on a friends only level.

    it's like, uh, you're the one who moved to baltimore and you're complaining about missing me? get real.

    but yeah, contact is cut, no matter how much i like talking to her (we were friends before anyway) conversation isn't worth this BS.
     
  12. BStark

    BStark Well looky here. OT Supporter

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    I was engaged and with the girl for 4 years. When we broke up, she followed me to my new town. She got a new b/f, and paraded around with him. We had the same group of friends, too. I ended up cutting out all ties with most of my "friends."

    The hardest thing to do is hit the ignore button when they call, or block them on AIM or MSN and keep them blocked. Especially when they call in the middle of the night, crying because the new guy beats them. Even though I tried to get her back at one point, I have to move on.

    You can't live your life on what if's, ya know? You gotta get out there, try to meet someone new or take the time to figure out what you can do to make yourself happy with you.

    The friendship thing, it doesn't work very well. Maybe YEARS afterwards, maybe when you're secure in a new relationship. That'd be the only time I'd ever consider trying it.
     
  13. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    yeah, i think that's the main problem, i haven't been in a relationship since and she's back with an old ex who hates her and they don't really work too well so i get the feeling she just has me as a backup option which frankly is unacceptable. it's gay and i'm not doing it anymore.
     
  14. BStark

    BStark Well looky here. OT Supporter

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    You're no better than a Teddy Bear. You're a comfort device. A security blanket. Same shit happened to me. Just block her don't talk to her. It gets easier, I promise.
     
  15. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    One thing I've learned in 28 years is theres no point to being "friends" with any of your ex's I mean I'm civil to a few of them and we'll still talk once in a blue moon but I have no desire to hang out and be friends with them.
     
  16. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Indeed, in my experience it doesn't work. It's just too awkward
     
  17. LudaMan

    LudaMan Active Member

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    Just have to cut her off cold turkey man. I read somewhere that you should wear a rubber band around your wrist, so everytime you start to have a thought about her you can snap it, and eventually those thoughts will stop themselves.
     
  18. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    yeah i'm going on two weeks not having talked to her, honestly feel a lot better when i don't talk to her than when i do.
     

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