SRS Drunken dad moving in with me

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Dont Go Away, Feb 14, 2005.

  1. Dont Go Away

    Dont Go Away New Member

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    Alright...

    I don't live with my parents. I live with my grandparents (my dads parents). I moved out for many reasons, not just the one I am talking about here. For Christmas, I sent my parents money to rent a car to come visit me because they are always having money problems so I said "hey, I wanna see them so what the heck!" After they had been here for 3 days, my dad stole money from my mom and took it to get alcohol.

    My dad has always been an alcoholic. It's just a fact. He has and I don't think he will ever be a non-alcoholic. He isn't constantly drunk, he just drinks to the point of passing out for a day or so and mixes pills and everything when he does it. Everytime this happens, he says he's going to stop drinking. The last time it happened, I believed him. He and my mom came to my boyfriends house to have "a meeting" where he proceeded to tell us that he was stopping and that if he didn't, my mom would leave him/kick him out of the house.

    Last time it happened, my family was here for Christmas vacation (I hadn't seen them since August) He stole the money and bough all kinds of alcohol. He disappeared for a few hours with my cousins boyfriend and came back not able to walk or even stand. My mom was picking me up from my boyfriends while all this was happening, so she had no idea it was even going on. She got a call saying that my dad was drunk and passed out in the living room of my cousins house. As soon as we got there, she searched his pockets for alcohol, pills, and sharp objects (he's been diagnosed as schizophrenic also). She took all of those things from him. My cousin and I left to take her baby to the babysitters (I had to drive her boyfriends car because he was drunk and passed out too). When we came back, my mom told me that we just missed the cops almost arresting him for trying to attack my cousins boyfriend with a knife because he thought it was him that took his liquor when it was actually my mom. He had passed out again before we got back. When he woke up again, he asked why my mom took his knife and she had to tell him that the cops had been there and taken it, etc. Then he got up to look for his Xanax (which he had also given to my cousins boyfriend) and started going through my mom's purse. They struggled and he pushed her and went looking for a kitchen knife ( he was saying things about hurting himself) So my mom had to call he police again while he chased her around. He took off running out the door as the police were on their way. They searched the neighborhood for him and finally found him and arrested him. He stayed the night in jail and my grandparents bailed him out.

    At the "meeting" the next day at my boyfriends, I was told that my parents would be seperating and he would be coming to live with me and my grandparents. I didn't have much to say. My grandpa is also an alcoholic so I know they would drink together, they have before. He ended up just going back with my mom saying that they were going to work things out and he wasn't going to drink anymore. I thought "wow...maybe he really means it."

    I was wrong. My little sister left me an offline message 2 nights ago saying that the scenario had played itself out again and he was arrested and taken to the mental health unit. I talked to my mom and they were letting him out today...she is sending him up here to live with my grandparents. He is leaving tonight and will be here in the morning. I don't know what to do. I can't just deal with it either. I don't like my brother and sister around it but I have too much going on right now to even deal with him. I'm still in high school and I take college classes. With him here, he won't get any better because my grandparents still fail to see that they are the ones that made him this way. I'm glad he's away from my mom and brother and sister...but now closer to me (He'll be in the next room) And his parents (my grandparents) wil just cater to him and his addictions. He hasn't held a job in about 4 years and can't get one because of his mental problems...

    I am going to lose it.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2005
  2. That sentence sums up the entire post. I recommend removing yourself and heading back to mom at all cost or finding somewhere else to live. You're on highway to hell if you choose to stay where you are.
     
  3. Dont Go Away

    Dont Go Away New Member

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    I would just move in with my boyfriend...or something
    But, I'm still in high school and I have commitments here.
    Mom's all the way in KY, I'm in MI.
     
  4. Sanity, or Success - you choose. I'd choose sanity, because once you lose that, success is empty and meaningless.

    There is a quote that goes: When you lose your money, you've lost nothing, when you lose your health, you've lost something, but if you lose your character - you've lost everything. Sanity is a component of both health and character. I'd defend them with my life if I were you.
     
  5. Not to mention I would get into an Al-anon program, and counseling. There is no way a human being can live through what you have, and experience being around someone so ill at the age you've been while growing up - and not be afflicted in severely negative ways. These negative things will eventually cripple you. I've seen it thousands of times, and no one escapes without addressing it in a healthy way. No one, notta, not even the smartest, or strongest. They all fall beneath the burden of these family diseases.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Maby some folks in the road to recovery forum know something about alcoholic parents and how to deal with them, im sure you will find more expertise there on the alcohol abuse item.

    As for you , i would try to help to get your dad into rehab. Honestly addictions are of the worst kind. But if you care about your dad you need to help him, and pursuede him continuesly to get professional treatment. You need to help him to need to make the Decision To Get Help himself http://www.drug-rehab.com/alcoholism.htm (goto section get help)

    I need you to try to understand that as wel as your dad and granddad need to go together into rehab. The roots of the problem lies there. The enviroment must be 100% alcohol free. You need to get them to a professional ASAP as you are not able to provide such treatment yourself to them.

    You need to keep talking into these two persons for months if you have , they can't really help themselves. If you would take the decision to goto your mom or elsewhere you will know for sure that they will never cure. It's a personal decision as it (will/can) ruin your carreer future to a certain extend.

    However i personally would do everything in my power to provide the necessary help needed, to make my family get rid of this poison.
     

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