LGBT dripping with sarcasm

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by suckmyexhaust, Sep 26, 2006.

  1. suckmyexhaust

    suckmyexhaust New Member

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    01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

    02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

    03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

    04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

    05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

    06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

    07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

    08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

    09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

    10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.



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    This was sent to me today. I am gonna start to use some of these in the little arguments I tend to get in.
     
  2. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    theres some goood ones in there :lol::cool:
     
  3. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    :rolleyes: :mamoru:

    it's almost funny, in a sad sad way....
     
  4. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    Those are great. They remind me of "the 10 reasons why you decided to be straight" that I got in rehab. Absolutely dripping with sarcasm. :big grin: I'll post them when I find them.

    I'm going to try using some of these lines in arguments. I suspect that they will end the argument rather quickly.
     
  5. tony

    tony Guest

  6. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    Ah yes, here we go, as promised...

    The 12 Lifestyle Questions:

    1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

    2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

    3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you will grow out of?

    4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

    5. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

    6. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

    7. Why do you insist on being so obvious and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

    8. Are you masculine or feminine? Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?

    9. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

    10. Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?

    11. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

    12. Could you really trust a heterosexual HR counselor to be objective and unbiased? Don't you feel s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his/her own learnings?
     
  7. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    Only 6 posts in, and already one of my favourite threads. :mamoru:
     

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