SRS Don't want to visit my mom's grave...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by MikeTheVike1, May 18, 2005.

  1. MikeTheVike1

    MikeTheVike1 OT Supporter

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    2 years ago tonight I found my mom after she commited suicide. I've only visited her grave a couple times since then. I feel like I should go, but I know it will only make me cry. I just don't want to think about it, but then I feel somewhat guilty. Just wanted to get this off my chest I guess. :wtc:
     
  2. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    You don't have to visit her grave. It's really no big deal. Her soul isn't suck in a coffin
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You should go. Visiting your mother's grave isn't for her. Obviously she's not in that coffin. Doing so is for YOU.

    Mourners often have to do some kind of physical act, make some kind of gesture.
    Visiting the grave is something tangible. Of course you'll cry, that's kind of the point.

    Catharsis can be good for you. Go there. Cry. Rage. And afterward, you'll have peace for a time...
     
  4. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    i kinda agree with this... her soul is somewhere, probably heaven, but that'll depend on belief....

    the question is, why should you if you're not comfortable with it?
     
  5. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    how about starting out with going somewhere else? was there a resturant or a park you two or she really enjoyed? start small. try to come to peace with little things first. they are right, her soul isnt in a box inthe ground, its in the little things of life. enjoy those.
     
  6. SpicyMcVoodoo

    SpicyMcVoodoo New Member

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    Visting someone's grave seems like an act of masochism, if you ask me, so I see no reason to go.
     
  7. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Yeah, and I feel like if you cry at her grave it'll make her feel guilty for not being there
     
  8. AQT4u2NV

    AQT4u2NV Guest

    It is up to YOU whether you feel comfortable going or not. YOU have to make the decision, because it is for YOU, not anyone else. As far as the feelings of guilt, I wish you didn't have those. I know it is alot easier said than done, but realize your mother made the decision she made, not you. You cannot continue living your life thinking you could have changed something. :hug: Feel free to PM me if you need to talk.
     
  9. Bear Klaw

    Bear Klaw Guest

    I have yet to visit my mothers since she passed in december
     
  10. l S3RG10 l

    l S3RG10 l New Member

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    Sorry to hear that. I dont think I could go either. :hugot:
     
  11. alexs001

    alexs001 Mawk! Mawk!

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    Personally, I'd rather see the grave site of someone famous than someone I knew.

    I really would rather remember the person in my own way.
     
  12. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    I am reminded by a Powderfinger song - waiting for the sun ...

    if you haven't heard it or got it, hit WINMX up or send me a PM / email and I will give it to you ...

    I don't know how much you loved your mother, and maybe it was why she went away when she did ... maybe you just felt guilty about what happened to her, and you feel shame for what you did, or didn't do, to free her from her burdens??

    anyways, good luck!! (and listen to that song!! :big grin:)

    (actually on playing a couple of songs, I would recommend that you get powderfingers whole album!! oddysey number 5!! send me a PM / email, and I will set you up with it!!)

    damn, this is a time when I wish we could really express music on this board ... :(
     
  13. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    its hard, i've been to my grandmothers grave a few times with my mom & i went alone recently & it's hard, i kind of just say there & cried, didnt know what else to do, i feel guilty when i dont go for long periods of time. Just do what you feel you'll be more comfortable with. i agree with istill25, i couldn't have said it better
     
  14. Bear Klaw

    Bear Klaw Guest

    hook me up
     
  15. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    PM sent, I recommend you listen to the whole album ...

    I recommend closing the door, with your eyes closed, and listening, through your heart as well as your ears!!

    :bigthumb:

    (also, say the words as you hear them, also!!)

    :bigthumb:
     
  16. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Its completely normal, that after the darkness that your mother has plunged you in that you don't want to be confronted with it. The sadness you have is caused by her, I hope that you are able to forgive her, i think that your mother was drowning in her problems and saw suicide as her only way out, if you could only imagine that your mother had so many problems that she seemed asif she had her back against the wall, and that she wanted to escape, then maby you will understand that she didn't intended to hurt you. You need to take all the time you need, and ask God for power to moisture the strenght to pay a visit. To understand that she really does love you, and that your current pain is not her desire, her self view was so concentrated on her own problems, that she was consumed by them, and tried to escape. It was unlikely that she knew what hurt she would cause you, and that's why i ask you (when you are ready for it) to forgive her.
     
  17. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    No reason to go.
     
  18. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    if anyone needs the album for some release, they can head to the shop and buy it, or send me a PM ...

    this post is valid until bought or downloaded ... this post may not be exchanged for any other offer ... this post is open to all who suffer heartache for their loved ones ... cash in at a time appropriate to you!!

    -Nightshade
     
  19. Tills

    Tills Lets Go Flyers

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    My wife's Father died almost 10 years ago. She has never been to his grave. I have never seen anyone have so much love for anyone like she loves him.

    I ask her why she does not go.....

    "He's not there"
     

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