SRS dont know what to do, gf prob, really want to work it out

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tha_prowler, Oct 11, 2005.

  1. tha_prowler

    tha_prowler New Member

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    i dont know what to do, i dont have anyone to talk to, sorry if its too long...

    me n my gf have been dating for 4 months now. i gave my virginity to her. i know she loves me very much, n i really love her too. we both open our hearts too much too easy. the thing is, whenever i tell her im going to do something (especially if i dont even plan them out i just decide it), and then i change my mind, she gets mad. like last night, i told her i was coming over. (my parents don't like her too much, but they want to like her because i like her. they really wanted me to spend one night out of the week with them. i go to school during the week and am home on the weekends.) so when i get to her house, she isnt there yet, she was on her way, so i go with my mom to get food. then she calls n wants to know if im still coming. then i tell her i want to spend the night with the family. she gets mad because i had already told her i was coming. she thinks my parents hate her and dont want me spending time with her. thats not the case, they understand. i can tell im really hurting her when i do these kinds of things but it didnt really hit me until last night, i thought we were over. she is my first love, and i dont know if it is because i really love her or if it is becuase she was the first. i am really not ready to give her up yet. this is a tough time for me and i really want her love. my parents think that i am way too young to be dealing with all this right now(im 18). they say if i set it free n it comes back....u know. i think that may be a good thing, but if i do that, im going to hurt so bad. just thinking about not being able to see her when i come home from school breaks my heart. maybe im just attatched or maybe i really do love her, but im tired of hurting her. i dont know what to do. :wtc:
    if anyone can make me feel any better about this or offer any kind of advice, please help me.
     
  2. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    You are too young to be that involved.

    I think you should take your balls back and if she doesnt like it, send her on her way. Chances are she will become more attracted to you if you stop acting like a wussbag, however.
     
  3. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    First off, if you tell someone you are coming over, and then you stand then up, your're being a prick. Knock it off. If you make plans with someone, KEEP THEM. You'll quickly get labelled as a flake and then no one will want to hang out with you if they only get a 50% chance of you showing up. What a slap in her face, anyway. You basically said "I don't love you enough to keep my word or to hang out with you. You're second fiddle to someone else." Yes, even family.

    Second, don't "cut her loose" and all that. That is loser talk. That is you telling yourself you are doing something wrong and fucking up your own relationship. If you REALLY care for her, stick to your word! But you have to be a man about it - men don't lie about things like coming over (or not.)

    You're an adult now, start acting like one and she'll respect that! :)
     
  4. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Tha_prowler, it's obvious by the way you are talking that yo are very young and inexperienced. Youa re only 18 and your parents are right, you really shouldn't be getting all lovesick just yet. In fact, being lovesick period is stupid. I'm not saying being "in love" is stupid, but being lovesick is, to where you can't stand being without someone or you fear losing them so much that you do stupid things.

    In this situation, yes, you girlfriend is right, you shouldn't have cancelled plans with her. That was rude. However you do not need to apologize, simply explain the situation, tell her you understand, and don't do it again.
    The last few points you said worried me. You are sounding like a kid with an infatuation, and that needs to stop. If you are so worried about losing her and you make an extra effort to keep her, then you likely will lose her. The reason behind that is because you will likely forego your own needs and wants just to give her what she wants all of the time, and that is a BIG NO-NO. In a healthy relationship, you want to respect you partner, and you want them to respect you. You cannot have someone's respect for long if all you do is put them first. What about you? What about what you want? Relationship is a give and take thing, and if all you do is give give give, then you are lacking self respect, and that will cause people to use you and eventually ditch you for some guy who has a pair of balls. This means, that you cannot cater to this girl all of the time because you care about her so much. You need to worry about you. Make sure that you do things that you want, yet respect her. If you respect yourself and persue your own happiness with a pair of balls, all the while respecting her as well, then she will likely do the same for you. If all you do is cater to her, or give in during fights because you fear to lose her, then you WILL lose her because she will not respect you.

    I see you headed that direction by your comments of not being able to stand not seeing her, etc. That's pathetic. Everyone wants to see their significant other, but it's pretty pathetic when you very happiness is tied to that person. Maybe that is what your parents are worried about, they see you developing too much attachment that can only lead to trouble. The only way someone can be truly happy is to be happy with themselves and be able to have happiness with just themselves. Your girlfriend, is only an added bonus. You don't need it, it's just great to have.
     
  5. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    Too much drama, just start over. You are young.
     
  6. Toxicity

    Toxicity New Member

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    Dude, that happened to me when I was 16 and lost my vriginity to my gf. You are not in love with her, you are just attached, like everyone gets in these situations. Dont be a prick and screw people over, I hate taht too, but dont be so into this girl either.
     
  7. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    this pain is imagined.

    your one incident, and now you want out is bullshit!!

    pull your finger out, and get shit done!!
     

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