SRS Don't know how to deal with the fact that I'm now "normal"

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by horseracing, Sep 15, 2009.

  1. horseracing

    horseracing New Member

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    I'm a girl who, growing up, was completely ignored by the guys. I had disfiguring acne, and I was very awkward and shy. My body was okay.

    Over the years, I guess my features started to look better, and recently every last bit of my acne disappeared. I got a tan, a new wardrobe, and finally was able to wear makeup because there aren't huge pustules all over my face. Even when I don't wear makeup, my face still looks clear; I was lucky enough not to get scars, despite looking hideous because of acne for such a long time. I also have a healthy diet and work out, so my body is very lean. In short, I'd say I'm normal-looking now, even a bit attractive to some!

    I've always had a lot of guy FRIENDS, but they were never interested in me in the slightest. Now, I've burst onto the scene looking completely different, and they are all saying that I'm great-looking! I also get flirted with all the time when I go out, which is a nice change. I'm going on a date this weekend with an amazing guy.

    The thing is, though, I find all this attention (not that it's a lot, but compared to before...) overwhelming. Sometimes if someone compliments when I'm out, I go home and feel sick and cry. I feel like it's not fair that I was ugly for so long, and as a result, people didn't even look me in the eye. Inside I'm still that nasty, ugly person. I feel like I'm parading in someone else's body now, that isn't mine. I feel this isn't "right" but at times I cry with relief too, that I am normal. I am normal enough to go out and have fun, and not worry about snickering and teasing.

    I'm not really sure what I'm asking. Just thought I'd put this all out there.
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It's good that you have the courage to vocalise these feelings. There's a certain transition period from the person you were to who you are now, esp. since that previous existence was quite different.

    I would guess that you didn't have the formative experiences that most people do when growing up, so it's no wonder that the social and sexual feelings you're now being faced with .... feels quite overwhelming.



    They are, even for "regular" teens, that's just part of the journey into adulthood. For you, I imagine it's bewildering .. hence the part where you go home and cry. Crying, as a mechanism, releases emotional and nervous tension, so this is a very understandable response. The same with the going-home, basically social withdrawal, which again is to give you time to process all the new feelings and experiences.




    If you're REALLY overwhelmed, and you have a good medical plan, I think a family therapist would be very helpful in navigating the next few months and years.

    Over time, the stress will lessen, as you gradually acclimate to your new life. A therapist can make that journey a bit more pleasant though, so do keep that in mind.

    Or keep visiting Asylum. There's a few jokers here and there, but there are a few good, insightful posters as well.



    Welcome to your new life. It's gonna feel awesome in a very short time.
     
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    awesome! get back at a cruel society by doing the exact same things that make them cruel!



    :jerkit:



    op, this is a self-esteem thing. you could talk to someone (friend, trusted family, counselor at school, clergy, etc) or you can just keep living the life of a pretty girl and let it work itself out. in the meantime, here's your new theme song

    [y]NTXXchDKKfw[/y]
     
  4. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    I'm 52 and suffered some acne growing up. I was extremely self conscious about it. I never had a problem getting women or approaching them for that matter.

    What I can tell you is, it was me having lower self esteem over something so trivial. I can assure you that it was a lot more your self consciousness, then the way others preceive you.

    Since the acne is gone, don't spend another second of wasted time on it. Feel comfortable enough in your own skin, to be who you are on the inside, not on the outside.

    The cliche "with age comes wisdom" really is true in some aspects, especially in a matter like this.
     
  5. psychodicautumn

    psychodicautumn New Member

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    I know exactly how you feel, but the truth is that you should be proud of the way you look and that you're finally being recognized for whats on the inside because people are seeing you on the outside. It's true we're often judged by appearance and you shouldn't take it for granted that you can no longer be judged badly. Be grateful, instead of upset.
     
  6. Julius

    Julius Guest

    :) bull, it's your body. you worked hard to get yourself there and the attention attributes to it. you're deserving.
     
  7. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    It sounds like you have the PERFECT opportunity to be the hot girl who somehow also has a nice personality. I think you should continue to be nice to people and keep being good at conversation, and while you'll continue to get hit on and take advantage of it as opportunities to "interview" guys, don't start placing more emphasis on which guy has the best game just because that's what the women who've always been pretty do. If you can be friendly and smart and beautiful, IN THAT ORDER, you will be an absolute dream come true.

    If you want a convenient reason why it happened this way, convince yourself that God was protecting you from turning into a shallow attention whore because you're capable of more than that and he wanted you to achieve it.
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    This is plausible... I think it's true
     
  9. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    Yeah, same thing happened to me when I was 14. I actually think it happens to a lot of girls. It might take you a while to get used to it. The mistake I made was dating a guy who, all of a sudden, found me attractive. He was the first guy who had ever been interested in me, and I thought I was in love. It was a mistake, but more importantly a learning experience.

    Dont use your new found looks for evil. In any relationship, personality should be the most important thing. But it is nice to know that others find you attractive. Dont stress too much about it.
     
  10. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    Just don't turn into a snob when you meet other ppl who're not too beautiful themselves.
     
  11. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    As much as I hate to say it, though, you will have to start being more aloof, because the segment of the male population that jumps from one cheap date to another will have you in their sights in no time. That's why I said you need to keep being smart, so you can talk to them and weed out the assholes before you get burned.
     

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