SRS Dont have the heart to say go away

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Takitome, Aug 13, 2007.

  1. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    This has been annoying me for some time.
    This girl keeps bothering me, I want her to go away but I don't have the heart to tell her. I treat her like shit but she does not take the hint.

    I meet her almost a year ago when her mother who lived next to me asked out of the blue if I could help find her cause she didnt have a car, she was into drugs and all that. So we found her and things, I figured I would be nice to her, she seemed like a sweet kid really. She would come over to my place every now and then, then more.. and more.. at one point she knocked on my door each and every fucking day. I cant stand her anymore, I dont know why she seeks me.

    She is really up tight, she only talks about what she likes. She is really biased. I like debating but I cant even debate things with her and she thinks she is right about everything, and when she isn't it was "obvious". Cause she gets really worked up if she says something and I say something different. Even if its a fact. I told her I wont fucking debate this with you anymore but she wont shut up untill I get angry or just say ok whatever. She is really rude at times, like she is testing me or something. Like she has been in my apartment for 6 hours. I try and be nice and tell her I want to be alone and read a book or something, she would say I dont read books and I snap and tell her to get out, now. I feel guilty about it later but she pushes me to be a bitch with her. She even spies on my laptop and cellphone when I'm not looking

    I have lost my temper with her alot, but she just shows up in a few days again like nothing happened. She thinks im her friend and I try to be nice to her, but I want to tell her to get the hell away from me at the same time. This isnt all her it is me too. I just seem to draw people like that to me. Like I make them think I give a shit.. maybe I did at some early point

    I dont know if I need any advise, just wanted to say it to someone. To vent..

    Edit: And im not trying to put myself into highlight as if im perfect myself
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2007
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You need to be like a castle gate closing yourself to bad people/things/events, and open yourself up to good people/things/events, if you let the enemy into your castle they will only end up destroying it

    From that point you can reason that you let someone into your life who is destroying you castle, your soul peace has been taken away from you, because you allowed someone into your life who doesn't belong there.

    You need to realise that everyone sends out signals, even if you aren't aware of it, your case as an example in theory. Im a drug addict, you give me the green light to come into your life, me having nothing realise still that i will progress in terms of life quality when i am in your room instead of on the streets. Even a cat has such a common sense to leave a bad owner if it gets better treatment somewhere else. K listen closely, there's 2 types of kindness. One where you really help someone out, like in a case of an emergency, and 2 where someone abuses your good intentions. In your case it lies sorta in the middle because you did get her out of the whole drug or street thing, and that's why she like a cat is constantly seeking attention and love from you, because she knows you are living a lifestyle that she would want for herself too.

    Should you chase her out? Well, maby you can arrange that from time (w) to time (x) you are consuming your personal time, and at time (y) to time (z) you spend time with her. That way you don't have to chase her away out of your life, and you still have your own personal life validated.

    Personally i think tho however if she keeps making your life miserable with the debating thing, well if it gets too bad warn her 2 or 3 times that you do not like the whole debate thing,if she keeps on doing it, i would also throw her out.
     
  3. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Has she stop doing drugs though?
     
  4. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    I had a friend almost exactly like yours.

    I like debate and I'm always up for it too, but this girl ALWAYS thought she was right when the obvious was she was incorrect. Then when she was proven to be incorrect she'd resort to some silly justification like "well, it's just not believable". She would try to argue with me about EVERYTHING. Also felt like she was attached to me at the hip most times. Constantly wanting to know what I was doing, constantly trying to talk to me, be with me. Whenever we were she was just a bitch and tried to argue with me about shit.

    I got fed up until I decided it just wasn't worth it. Everytime she tried to argue with me I ignored her and gave generic responses... like "Yeah, whatever...". Eventually we just completely stopped talking.
     
  5. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Yes maybe her intentions are good.. But I'm tired of it. I just want her to go away but I know she doesnt have many friends or somewhere to go to or even talk to, so that is probably why I put up with it as much as I have.
    But I know if she keeps it up it will come to a point where I ignore her or throw her out. If she did start to respect my privacy and space like you said I might change my mind. I told her many times and she doesnt get it.


    Most as far as I know. She went into rehabilitation for a few months after I meet her.
    She doesnt have the money to get drugs and I dont think anyone wants to give her any. I never gave her any money, if she wanted something I would just buy it for her myself.



    I tried to get her into things too, things I like. After a few tries I gave up. She is too pesimistic, always complain and I wont babysit her. Last time I just left her where she was, make her find her own way home. When I calmed down I did wait though without her knowing to make sure she took right bus before leaving again.
     
  6. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    All that and you still don't have the heart to say go away? :ugh:

    Ask yourself what you gain by being around her. You already mentioned you feel bad that she has nobody to go to. You must have other deep, depressing, and probably selfish reasons for keeping her around though cus that's a lot of shit to put up with.
     
  7. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    I dont know why I do.. Maybe I feel sorry for her or maybe I dont want to mess her up any more.
    Each time I get mad at her I feel guilty about it later, like it was the wrong thing to do
     
  8. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    It's not right for her to ignore your wishes though. Just because she made some bad decisions in life doesn't mean she deserves your sympathy. Maybe you feel guilty because you feel you should have handled it differently. In that case, you should be more stern with her. Tell her you're trying really hard to stay friends with her, but that you're feeling smothered and that if she wants to stay friends she's going to have to respect your space. If she tries to brush it off like it's nothing then repeat yourself and tell her she needs to take your feelings seriously or she will lose you as a friend. And, if after all that, she still doesn't listen then cut her from your life.
     

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