don't have the balls to approach..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tominos, Oct 22, 2006.

  1. tominos

    tominos New Member

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    i've been going out to clubs and parties pretty often, yet i can't approach. do you have to have something lined up before you talk to someone? i think i get anxiety when i think about approaching a girl. i have no openers. any help?
     
  2. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Have some default lines. Use them to get over your approach anxiety. Once you are comfortable approaching you can branch out and expand your repetoire.
     
  3. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Don't approach. Go stand near the woman you are interested, and just put your back to her. Listen to what she is saying, and at some point you can make a comment about what they are talking about, judge the reaction (try to say something funny of course!), and then go from there.
     
  4. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Starting with a hello, followed by a compliment may work well...just dont come on too strong or corny
     
  5. tominos

    tominos New Member

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    i guess i just have anxiety. can you guys help with some default lines? (not pickup lines) lol.
     
  6. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    http://www.charismasciences.com/medi...apodcast12.mp3 --- That has some examples of a guy approaching. He doesn't even use anything "clever" either.

    I don't like approaching with just saying "Hi. How are you?" because it seems kind of weird in my opinion. Not only that, it isn't under the radar.

    Personally, I love reading books, so I do most of my approaches at book stores.

    I think the easiest place to meet women is at a clothing store. I usually just go to the mall and ask a girl to help me out on picking out some clothes.

    Something fun I like to do is before I ever approach the girl, walk past her, tap on the opposite side of her shoulder and make her look the other way. Just keep walking like nothing happend. If she confronts you, act like you have no idea what she is talking about. When you approach her later, it will be like it never even happend anyways.

    I don't know if the tapping thing helps in pickup or not, but I think it's hilarious and it keeps me in a good mood, which is the state of mind you want to be in when you're meeting women.
     
  7. ShoverBot

    ShoverBot OT Supporter

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    any suggestions to start a convo with girls at college, im real bad at the "hey how goes it" type of shit
     
  8. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Yeah, here's a tip that I used in college.

    When you see her, walking around, just say Hi [name]. Like "Hi Julie." and keep walking. Look her in the eye, smile, and that's it. After about 2-3 times *IF* she says hi back AND now knows your name, you know she was thinking about who you were and asked around. Then you know she is interested.

    From there, you just wak over, say hi, and ask her what is cool going on this weekend. Just be like "Hey Julie, what's up?" [her reply] "Cool. Hey, is anything cool going on this weekend? Do you know of any parties?" and act like you're trying to make plans. Ask her what's cool to do, and then find out what kind of stuff she likes. Take it from there.
     
  9. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    Don't drink when you're trying to meet women.

    Or do what I do, and don't drink at all.

    Maybe once a month or something, but not when you're trying to meet women.
     
  10. tominos

    tominos New Member

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    i've been trying to not drink that much when i'm at the club and trying to talk to people. apparently, it's supposed to help you talk to them easier.
     
  11. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    i had trouble approaching in the beginning, its REALLY hard.

    first thing i'd do is start making smalltalk with everyone. go one week and talk to like 5 people a day about anything. its VERy easy to do this in retail stores of any kind. and i do mean anyone, not just girls. however, make sure some are girls, dont cheat yourself out of practice.

    then pick one opener, and just use it. nothing too intricate. even try hey, what are you drinking? use a "hey, my friend thinks ur friend is hot but is too shy to come over there himself". start EASY. your first goal is to be able to open, not to open well. once you are able to open, then work on the quality of it.
     
  12. R.Kelly

    R.Kelly OT Supporter

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    just have fun. I mean, I actually said "i have a pretty big walk in shower" to these girls once. I didnt get any #s, but we laughed and what not.
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    paralysis by analysis.

    your mind is dreaming up all the scenarios of what can go wrong, so you dont want to go in until you know the "exact right thing" to say.

    Guess, what there is no right thing. You have to expose yourself to the risk of rejection to succeed. I wouldn't consider a "rejection" to be failure, however. The failure is in not approaching.

    Make yourself do it. Get out of your comfort zone. Feel that nervous feeling and DO IT ANYWAY. Walk up to her EXPECTING to get blown off and just do it for the experience.

    You could even go up to random girls and tell them "I'm conducting an exercise to get over my fear of approaching attractive women, thank you for participating" then walk away. I bet at least a few will be intrigued and chase you down :big grin:
     
  14. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Hello followed by a compliment is about as corny as you can get!

    Personally, I like to find something to tease the woman about. Theres almost always something. Get them laughing and create a little challenge right from the start. It also allows me to size her up quick- if she doesn't have a sense of humor, I want nothing to do with her.
     
  15. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    :rofl: Corny works really damn well with women.
     
  16. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    How many guys do you think are saying hello and complimenting a hot woman at a club/bar? Probably dozens throughout the course of a night. Good luck with that approach!
     
  17. Tugga

    Tugga OT Supporter

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    grab there tits when dancing, i do it and it works

    got me plenty of roots.

    jsut make sure the chick is half interested haha
     
  18. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    But out of 5 billion people on earth, she might be your "one and only", and it shouldn't matter what you say! If it is true love, she will love you no matter what!

    She'll see past the fact that you're like every other CHUMP who says hi and compliments her right away.
     
  19. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    lol, i love u man -- that made me laugh so hard and im at work FFS
     
  20. whitecouch

    whitecouch spendin' our golden years in OT Supporter

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    Do it.:bowdown:
     
  21. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Actually most guys do just the opposite. They sit there and anazlyze the situation convincing themselves that every other guy is saying the same thing, and that they have no chance.

    I dont need this approach, Im married because I knew what I was doing and didnt need the internet to tell me what to do.

    Compliments go A LONG way with a woman, especially when you put a little thought into it. Then again, by the posteres in this thread, maybe there isnt a whole lot of thought going around to be put in to it :rofl:

    If you dont know what to say, this thread isnt going to help you
     
  22. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    compliments CAN work. other things CAN work. there's really a lot going on when u break it down to the bits and pieces. the gold chunk of knowledge that im going to repeat here is there are TWO SEPERATE THINGS GOING ON

    -conquering the fear of the approach
    -opening successfully

    they are different and a huge problem is people want to approach, and do it well at first, but are too scared. well there is no way to get over it without trying, and you arent going to be awesome on your first try. so you must fail. pick something really easy and just use it over and over till that fear goes away (or is on soem safe level) then work on technique after that.
     
  23. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    If you're complimenting something other than her physical appearance, you have a point. Most guys will tell a woman how good she looks and they think that it's gonna catch a woman's attention.

    Saturday night, a not-so-good looking girl approached me and said "my friends were just saying that you have nice teeth". Seeing that I wasn't responsive, she continues and says something along the line of "you must work out- you have nice arms". At this point, I'm thinking HOW PATHETIC can you be.

    *I do realize that if a woman is good looking or if the guy wants to bang the girl, it doesn't really matter what she says. For most guys, all that matters is that the girl is interested. Sometimes if I can go either way with a girl, a good personality will grab my attention. This girl had absolutely nothing going for herself.
     
  24. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    How could I be so stupid :doh:

    :rofl:
     
  25. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Compliments are great as long as you aren't using them to purchase approval.

    Just like posted above, its obvious when you are doing something out of honesty vs. looking for approval or reaction.
     

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