Don't Fight in Public

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by i dangled you, May 4, 2007.

  1. I'm sick of all these AFC posts. I was at work tonight and I know now that naturally, I am capable of attracting women, without much effort.

    I was at work and this guy walked in. Talking fine, then a few seconds later I hear FUCK KIM, what's wrong with you? He ends up yelling to the phone some more in front of me. Then he makes it worse. She hangs up on him. And he calls back. I stood there watching in awe. This guy is a complete idiot. I don't say much, and watch as he gets dumped right in front of me. He starts crying and I completely ignore him, it's better I don't say anything and don't.

    He should have, being an intelligent individual, when Kim pissed him off, told her he doesn't want to talk to her, say bye and hang up. He then could have done better, when she hung up, he shouldn't have called her back at all. He was acting purely stupid and childish and it was clear.

    Guys don't get slapped around by a girl, who is trying to get a rise out of you. It's almost too easy, don't give her a rise and cut out a lot if not all the attention you were giving her. This will show her she was in the wrong, and then she will come crying back, because of the lack of attention. We all know that she will admit her mistake. Now, stop these AFC posts, if something feels wrong, you know it is. Trust your gut.

    Beast
     
  2. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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  3. Average Frustrated Chump
     
  4. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Fighting with your girl at all is AFC... it means you are

    -buying into her frame
    -taking her seriously
    -not leading her emotions

    All of which are bad. No arguments... ever.
     
  5. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    explain this a bit more please?
     
  6. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    in any situation when you have two people, you have two different ideas about whats going on.

    simple example.

    you are hanging out at a party and end up on a couch next to an attractive girl just hanging out, not doing anything.

    your girlfriend walks into the room, sees you and gives you the unhappy face.

    do you buy into her frame and move yourself as far away from the girl and give her the "honey, im sorry" face? thats her frame and when you act guilty or apologetically you got sucked in. you wern't doing anything wrong, why are you acting nervous and moving away from the girl that just happens to be sitting next to you? Worse yet, why are you thinking about saying something lame or explaining yourself. or even worse apologizing.

    your frame is that you are just at a party having fun. so you completely ignore her disaproving look and just smile and gesture for her to come sit on your lap. thats you enforcing your frame. If she ask who is that girl, you ignore what shes really asking and just answer her question literally or give her a hard time.
     
  7. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    I think most people are unfamiliar with the word frame at all, you might want to explain that as well. and he with the strongest frame always wins. and it is attractive
     
  8. Memor

    Memor Active Member

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    Yeah. My last girlfriend would go insane trying to get me to buy into her frame, almost to a bipolar extreme because she'd be so furious i wouldn't cater to her and give her unneeded attention.

    It took about a month of it before she kind of gave up and moved past it - she'd been spoiled in the past from spineless ex-boyfriends that would run to her at every beckoning call or glance and give her the "oh no what's wrong? are you okay? what did i do? talk to me please baby" act she wanted. I used to fall for it, doesn't happen anymore.
     
  9. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    mah nga. that's what happens when you become a man, they just let it go and understand that you are a rock
     
  10. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    To explain 'Frame' in a way for everyone to understand, think of it like your view on reality. Everyone thinks that their view on reality is A) Is the same as everyone elses (or most peoples), or is at least very close to being the same, B) Is the right way to view reality.

    However, both A and B are wrong. Everyone views the world in different ways, no 2 people view it the same way, and there is no right way to view it.

    However, when two people meet their realitys sort of clash head on, and whoever has the strongest reality will be the dominant person.

    To relate this to the above example: GF sees BF sitting on couch next to a girl, in her reality he is doing something wrong and she doesn't approve and gives him a dirty look.

    BF sees GF giving him a dirty look and either A) Falls into her frame/view of the situation/reality and moves away from the girl on the couch and appologizes. B) Sticks to his frame/view of reality and doesn't react to the dirty look and stays where he is. This will most likely have the GF either forget it knowing he isn't actually doing anything wrong, or she will go sit with him, either way she is now in his frame/view of reality.
     
  11. Memor

    Memor Active Member

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    In the end it just made her 15x more attracted to me. The BS she'd try to pull was ridiculous though...be lying in bed and all of a sudden

    "fuck off, get out of my room"
    "what"
    "don't even look at me. don't fucking touch me either"
    "here we go again"
    "i'm not kidding this time, you can head home. i don't care if i never see you again"
    "you still haven't done the part of your routine where you tell me i'm worthless"
    "fuck off don't act like you know me"
    "aright, i'll go grab a bite to eat with friends while you settle down, talk to you soon"

    then

    "wait why are you leaving? no don't go, stay here, i didn't mean it i need you" blah blah blah

    needless to say that relationship ended
     
  12. Jackie Treehorn

    Jackie Treehorn Active Member

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    Smart thread. :bigthumb:
     
  13. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Everyone fights with there girl friend. Its impossible not too and if you don't fight back and pull the whole "fuck it" by just not responding back to the shit they leave you.
     
  14. Memor

    Memor Active Member

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    Yeah, she was a little off her rocker. But she was hot, and kind of crazy, and with girls like that you end up putting up with a lot more than you'd think before enough is enough :mamoru:
     
  15. No, you still didn't get the point of the thread. Don't fight in public. When a girl is fighting with you in public, as a guy you should back off and let her make a fool of herself. Tell her you won't fight with her, if she doesn't back down, walk off. Let her hang herself out to dry. Then on top of that, take away the attention you give her. That will show her that she was in the wrong. Therefore showing her that you are stronger willed than her and being a real man in front of her, not a little emotional boy.
     
  16. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    there is a difference between being emotionally reactive to her feminine vicissitudes and actually having a disagreement about something that is important. If you guys are fighting because you put way too much importance on certain things in the relationship because unsconsciously you know that you probably won't be able to find another girl any time soon, then yes you can continue being an elite lamer, but that won' thelp your relationships
     
  17. ^^^^
    You phrased it a lot better than I did.
     
  18. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    1. Not everyone fights with their girlfriend.

    2. there are a lot of other options on how to handle it.
     
  19. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Holy shit I think we dated the same girl.
     
  20. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    I agree that not fighting in public is a good rule to have, but all that other stuff seems like power struggles as opposed to getting issues resolved.

    From past experience, it's always been very unproductive to argue in public, very embarrassing, and the argument never ends on a good note. If you're arguing on the phone, that doesn't help either, because you can't see the person's face or body language. It's probably better to tell the person you have to go and will talk to them later. That way, you can confront the person face to face and say things that you would want to say, but are embarrassing or uncomfortable to say in public. Also, talking about the issue later would give both individuals some time to calm down and think.
     
  21. The point is, to show you have self-control and not to fall into the female's frame.
     
  22. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    90% of arguments with a girl are pointless arguments. So if you know how to not let her pull you into them you can "train" her behaviour to stop picking so many stupid fights because she gets no reaction out of you whenever she trys to start one.
     
  23. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    Ah ok, so as not to embarrass yourself in public?
     
  24. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    If 90% of arguments with your girl are pointless....you need to find a new girl.
     
  25. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    the problem is you say "fuck it" then you EXPLAIN why you don't fight in order to seek her approval. instead of choosing your course of action and following it out

    my wife and i have had very few fights

    if tensions are mounting and for some reason i can't head it off (sex is the best way to accomplish this imo), then i will verbalize to her what she is doing (raising her voice etc.) and physically leave because of it

    the last thing she wants to happen is for me to leave, so oftentimes she will "fall in line" right away in order to prevent me from leaving
     

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