SRS Does this conversation prove she's cheating on me?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by William Murderface, Apr 28, 2007.

  1. William Murderface

    William Murderface I'd rather die than go to heaven.

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    I found convincing evidence (convo at the bottom) that the girl I've been seeing lied to me about seeing other people. Now I'm really unsure what to do.


    Back story: This girl and I dated a few years ago, but she broke it off with me before she went abroad. We didn’t talk for a couple years. A few months ago, she comes on to me at a party and we end up hooking up. This leads to a relatively casual relationship. Since we’re both stuck in our hometown until grad school, with no other friends around, we’re basically a couple without the actual label for several months. I brought up the label thing once or twice, she danced around it. I was fine with it, convinced I was the only one she was seeing.


    Suddenly she becomes distant, emotionally and physically. The sex practically stops. I thought maybe it’s because she started taking the pill, but even when we have sex she asks me to wear a condom. She says she’s forgetting to take the pill regularly.


    Currently: Things have dragged out almost three months like this--hanging out basically as friends, rarely hooking up. Recently, she came over and we have sex for the first time in almost six weeks (awful, I know). She checks her email on my computer, forgetting to sign out. I go to sign in my account, it logs into hers, and I can’t resist checking her messages. One conversation explains to a female friend how things aren’t going well between us:

    “I'm totally ready to start new things, but it's proving very hard to extricate myself from all this junk at home. [xnthuzst] hates me, which is rough because now I have no friends for real. I just don't want to make out with him anymore. So he naturally feels weird. So we don't really hang out.”

    :eek3: Seeing this is really upsetting, to say the least. But then I found this chat between a close male friend of hers, whom she visited a month ago out in LA. They’ve been friends for a while, so I previously trusted there was nothing more going on:

    Her: : )
    Michael: heeeeyyyyyyyyyy
    i was in a meeting
    Her: hollerrrrrrrrr
    Michael: so the question is, when are you coming back to L.A.
    Her: see now, don't say that, because i totally will come back
    and hop on in to that bed
    ..somewhat inappropriate conversation for work
    Michael: hahahahh
    you shoudl come back early june
    and we can go to la playa
    Her: hey, you just tell me when, and i'll totally come out
    we all know i won't really have a job by then
    Michael: hahaha alright, well i enjoyed your presence, so i'll let you know the next time you can come...maybe you'll be able to stay a bit longer next time
    ...jsut get a job in l.a. and crash at my apt. no one will care
    Her: haha word
    maybe michelle a-go-go will
    i mean...
    (still at work)
    Michael: yo, what did you say? my boss walked by so i had to close it
    Her: me: haha word
    maybe michelle a-go-go will
    i mean...
    (still at work)
    good thing you closed it
    Michael: maybe she will what?
    Her: care if i'm sleeping in your bed
    Michael: oh
    you know what, fuck her
    Her: uh oh
    trouble in paradise
    Michael: nah, i just got a good night sleep last night and came to my senses
    Her: many fish in the sea
    many asians in california
    Michael: yeah, i dont need to be chasing after any f***in girls
    Her: and now she'll come after you
    wait for it


    The convo eventually ends with a big “mmmwah” from her. I know for a fact this guy has been seeing this other girl, Michelle, casually. My pseudo-gf knew this too, and clearly refers to her.


    So what do you guys think? Does this conversation sound like they’ve been hooking up? I want to confront her, but don’t want to make the wrong assumptions. I’m also unsure how to approach the situation, considering how I did technically snoop around her emails.


    Sorry for the length... but any advice would be appreciated. Thanks guys.
     
  2. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    It seems pretty obvious to me that she has cheated on you in the past and plans on doing it again.
     
  3. Time to dump her ass FTW.

    Don't tell her you're snooping on her, but dump he for a bs reason like, I just don't see us going anywhere or something of that nature.
     
  4. The Saggin' Nutz

    The Saggin' Nutz New Member

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    i would end it
     
  5. SixSecrets

    SixSecrets New Member

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    You shouldn't of read her email for starters. Privacy is privacy.

    I also think you should forget her, one can only bang their head against the wall for so long.

    She does not care about you.

    No point in dragging out the dance.
     
  6. glass

    glass New Member

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    i'd go with the BS reason ala skrappy. don't let her know you went into her email.
     
  7. William Murderface

    William Murderface I'd rather die than go to heaven.

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    I will end it, believe me. I just want her to know I know. That I know she lied and hurt me. Unfortunately, unless she fesses up, there's no way to reveal that without admitting I did snoop through her e-mail. That would lessen the guilt on her part and give her some sense of justification, I'm sure. I need some way for her to reveal the truth.
     
  8. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    You know what, if its some kind of revenge you're looking for, you won't get it that way. She doesn't care that much that she hurt you, and will just be driven further away from you because now she'll pity you. After a while she'll just make fun of you to her new boyfriend about how fragile you were.

    You knew she was cheating on you long before you read that email and those messages. You felt it in your gut, you just didn't want to admit it to yourself and held out for "concrete evidence."

    Just break it off with her. She doesn't have the balls to break it off, so its time for you to step up. She will probably gain a lot of respect for you if you do, because it shows you are aware of whats going on and don't need to catch her in the act before you know something is up. Don't let on that you have any concrete evidence of her cheating, because you don't need it.

    edit: hell, for all we know she left that stuff open on purpose so you could read it, because you weren't getting her non verbal cues.
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It's already done, this relationship is empty, soulless and draining.
    Only thing left to do is the actual breakup, and that's LONG OVERDUE.
     
  10. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    Definitely break-up with her for sure.

    As to her cheating on you, I'm not so sure, but I think she might be. Again, I'm not so sure, but maybe that's coz I'm used to a highschool-girl mentality where chicks flirt with guys as a normal habit-thing.

    Definitely break it off though. Go with the BS thing
     
  11. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    Just end it and walk away, she's not gonna care regardless so there's no point in wasting your time.
     
  12. joyceebabe

    joyceebabe New Member

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    dump the two timing bitch
     
  13. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    She's not cheating because you are not exclusive! She never agreed to be exclusive so she is free to hookup with whoever she wants. If she is "dancing around" the label it's because she doesn't want it. You should never assume someone is seeing only you unless they tell you that's what they want. She made it clear that she was not interested in being your gf by not agreeing to the label. You chose to blindly ignore that and pretend that you were exclusive when you weren't so you have no one to blame but yourself here.
     
  14. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

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    Cut it off... No point trying to create a hollow relationship where you will get attached she we will emotionally fuck you.

    Step up and cut it off, if you need a reason tell her you can't trust her.
     
  15. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Cheaters don't deserve privacy.

    Sounds a whole lot like she's slept with this guy to me.

    I've got chat logs of my ex and the guy she was screwing, this stuff is real deja-vu like, man. Print it, shove it in her face, and walk. (Yeah, she'll tell it to everyone like you're the bad guy, but fuck it)
     
  16. 311-420

    311-420 New Member

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    no brainer. ditch the bitch.
     
  17. bs2100

    bs2100 New Member

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    If you know the person's a cheater then there's no point to invading their privacy. If you don't know if they're a cheater then you can't invade their privacy. So really either way there's no reason to do that to someone.
     
  18. American SuperBeast

    American SuperBeast New Member

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    dump her and personally i would try and make it as mean as possible just for the hell of it
     
  19. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    If things had been dragging on for 3 months, why didn't you end it earlier?

    And I agree with the others...there was no need to snoop. Everyone deserves privacy..you already had all the info you needed to know the relationship was over.

    Just dump her, and next time, don't snoop. You should be able to tell by her actions if she is still with you in the relationship.

    I mean, come on man, if the sex basically stopped for 3 months....how could you NOT know she was losing interest?
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Dump her. Not that you guys are even going out anyway from the looks and sounds of it...
     

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