Does no one care about HIV anymore??? Safe Sex??

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sephiroth, Dec 7, 2006.

?

Do you care about and practice safe sex to prevent the spread of STDs / pregnancy?

Poll closed Dec 21, 2006.
  1. Yes, I use a condom every time

    30 vote(s)
    40.5%
  2. Yes, I use a condom some of the time

    12 vote(s)
    16.2%
  3. No, but partner is on birth control so I'm not worried

    25 vote(s)
    33.8%
  4. What's safe sex?

    7 vote(s)
    9.5%
  1. Sephiroth

    Sephiroth New Member

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    Every day, you see posts, talk shows, etc. on people who are worried about getting their gf's pregnant, or who got them pregnant, or other stories on "pulling out", and the like. What I want to know is, don't people use condoms any more? I wonder about all these people who have accidentally gotten pregnant, or someone who isn't worried "because she's on The Pill".

    Aren't we missing the point? What about HIV, other STDs? I'm afraid for all the people out there who are worried about having babies, but not about their own bodies...doesn't anyone care any more? Don't we care about our partners any more?

    With the renewed advertising campaigns for Product RED, HIV awareness, etc., where are we at as far as condom use, safe sex, etc.? If you're in a monogomous relationship (Long term of year or longer), do you use condoms? Do you care at all? Do you get HIV tests, and then follow through to get your results?

    My stats:

    Age 27, Female. Current 7 yr relationship, 1 2yr break in the middle. My partner and I didn't use condoms before, but I did during the break. We don't now, but are discussing marriage.

    I have had 3 HIV tests: at end of 1st break, before I got back together with my partner, and recently, to get individual health insurance. All negative.

    Total number of partners, including my current life-partner person: 7.


    EDIT:

    :o

    Man...I'm thinking I have skewed the poll results with Option 3. My mod friend told me I can't delete/edit the poll, so I'm stuck with the following disclaimer.

    What got me thinking about this is both another thread and the multitude of daily talk shows where I see people getting DNA tests to discover the father of their children. And I'm wondering, with as many unplanned pregnancies as there are, the number of STD and HIV cases that go undetected and unreported must be much higher.

    So, #3 can be a misleading question.

    It can be interpreted multiple ways is what I'm finding. You can be married, in a LTR or have a domestic partner and be on birth control, and not use a condom for good reason. Not many married people I'm thinking would prefer condom usage after they tie the knot--myself included, and I've answered #3.

    For argument's sake, let's clarify and say from here out that #3 applies to one of the following:

    --Those individuals not in committed or monogomous relationships; or,
    --Those individuals in LTR's or monogomous relationships of less than one year; or,
    --In the context of monogomous people discussing the time leading up to the one year LTR/marriage/domestic partnership mark; or,
    --Those who are married/in a relationship BUT who either have
    1. an "open" relationship or
    2. a "more than platonic" (ahem) relationship with someone whom their partner has no knowledge.


    With respect to those who answered "I don't use a condom, but my partner is on birth control so I'm not worried"--is The Pill/The Patch/ NuvaRing, etc. enough for you to do it w/o protection? Meaning, since your female partner is on the pill, and you fall into one of the above bulleted categories, does that justify not wearing a condom at all?

    What I'm getting at is: do you not care about STDs because your partner is "taking care of things on her side"?

    It's more a responsibility issue that I'm exploring.

    Anyway, sorry for the confusion, this is what happens when you realize later that your questions can be interpreted multiple ways :hs:
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2006
  2. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    never used one with my current partner

    ty to her for the std too :hsr:

    oh well

    as for kids... im graduating soon so its on the slate anyway
     
  3. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    We're clean, Tested, don't use condoms since i'm on BC and we've been togetehr for 4 years,
     
  4. efbomb

    efbomb New Member

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    I'm 24, 8 partners, 3 LT relationships, tested clean within a month of being active, currently single and not active.

    I've always used protection, with the exception of 2 relationships where i completely trusted the person
    one we had both recently been tested(went together to get tested)
    and the other she was a virgin(i know it was still a risk)
    Pregnancy is one thing, having to live with a un-curable disease would be life changing.

    I've recently expierenced this. My younger sister went to the doctor for abnormal cramping. After she went to 2 different doctors she found out she had HPV (Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Infection), and of the 100 different strands, she has 1 of the 30 that can cause cervical cancer. Since then she has undergone tests and procedures to eliminate the spread of her "growth" in the cervix, but its never gone and can cause problems with fertility. She also found she had a cyst on an ovary and had to have it removed.
    She is 20, and has only had 4 partners. 4 were LT relationships. Pretty shitty.
    I feel terribly sorry for her, and so mad too cause she's my little sister, she doesnt deserve this, espeically this early in life.
    Well I atleast have learned from her lesson, and will always use protection.
     
  5. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I'm 37. Chances of catching AIDS are ridiculously low, something like a 1-in-24 chance if you screw someone who DOES have AIDS. Drug users are the highest risk, followed by gay males, etc. The stats out there don't really support all the hype most of these STD's get.

    There is a 20% chance you will die from heart disease, a 1-in-7 chance from cancer, 1 in 24 from a stroke, 1 in 84 from a car crash, etc. STD's don't rank up there at all.

    Check this out:

    http://www.nsc.org/lrs/statinfo/odds.htm
     
  6. jestre

    jestre New Member

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    No condoms for me, or her. I got fixed.
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Hooked up with a girl who always used protection, after a couple months starting going skin 2 skin b/c of birth control. Afterwards got tested just in case, came up clean of course. Currently occasionally fucking a fwb who has never been with another man, condoms used for cumming only.
     
  8. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    We're married, both tested clean and currently don't use anything at all.
     
  9. Dorn

    Dorn New Member

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    The ex and I always used one. She was on birth control, but also took some other meds that decreased the "usefulness" of it. She's the only person I've been with. We had discussed not using them, but decided for the time being it was best to use them.
     
  10. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    Always use a condom...

    It's not going to happen if I don't have one on hand.
     
  11. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    I wouldn't care if the chances were low or not...

    because yeah...1 in 24...but it could always be that 1st person out of the 24 who has it and possibily gave it to you.



    I'll play it safe thank you.
     
  12. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    he means if you fuck someone with aids you only have a 1 in 24 chance of getting aids from that person.


    and for the topic it completely depends.

    i used a condom with girls that i didn't know.

    i fucked up and screwed a girl who has been around a bit without a condom and now need to get tested again, she was tested right before we hooked up and came back clean but I don't trust anyone.
     
  13. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    good point...but I still wouldn't risk it...

    the 1st time you screw that person out of 24 times could of gave you HIV :hs:

    same difference.
     
  14. giapia

    giapia Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you re

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    both clean, both get tested, bc
     
  15. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    i really don't know what you are getting at? like whats your point?
     
  16. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    point is...it's not worth the risk.


    sure it's a 1 in 24 chance...but that doesn't mean you have 23 free passes before you can contract anything. It could be that first time that you get infected.
     
  17. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    I will always use a condom unless I'm in a relationship and the girl's on BC.

    Kids and STDs are two things I'd really rather avoid worrying about :)
     
  18. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    How the hell do you know if thats fact or fiction? :mamoru:
     
  19. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    I'd like to say that given it's a friend you can trust them but that's not always the case.
     
  20. mare

    mare New Member

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    I'm 44. divorced & dating. Always use a condom...until recently with an individual I'd been seeing for 5 months! But he has stated he wasn't with anyone else so I trusted him; he also had just had a complete physical for insurance & said everything was in order.

    I am amazed at the amount of men dating that aren't prepared for hookups & we had to stop & pickup "something"...hence I'm always prepared...

    The HPV thing in itself is just as scary as AIDS or an STD!!! I'm enjoying life again & am not about to let some foolish decision shorten it for me or my daughters' mom!
     
  21. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    both virgins going into it ... bc
     
  22. weakone

    weakone New Member

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    He's 22, I'm 18. He's my first, I'm his fourth. He's never been tested, I've been tested quite a few times. We'll be together four years on Jan 31, and I've been on BC for the past 2-3 years, so we don't use condoms anymore. It made me feel kind of uncomfortable that he'd never been tested before, I don't know the girls he slept with or how clean they are, but I've been and I'm clean, so.
     
  23. Sephiroth

    Sephiroth New Member

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    Clarification at top of page

    Everyone...I clarified #3, since we're getting a lot of feedback for that one from ppl in committed marriage-type relationships as well as feedback from those who are just on the pill so they don't worry about anything else...i've clarified the issue, but the almighty Moderators have said that I can't edit the poll to reflect it.

    Anyway, even if you've voted, let's please continue the discussion!
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2006
  24. Sephiroth

    Sephiroth New Member

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    Weakone, did you ask him to get tested?

    Granted, I am on the same page with you as far as BC goes--been using it for years. And yes, it is a tough subject. Here's a story for you.

    There was once an instance where I ahem, "had relations" with a college friend while I was out of a relationship. Not long after that, and completely out of the blue, someone I cared very much about in the past called me, confessed his feelings for me, and expressed the desire to give it a second try. I was floored, and caring very much for this person, I agreed to meet him across the country to see if it could work out. (It did.) Eventually I moved to be with him.

    But I was up front with him immediately about the old "college friend". Got lucky on that one, because it could have turned out bad.

    Anyway, I called "college friend" the next day and asked him if he had been tested, because it was kind of a blur, I couldn't remember if we had been safe, and I know that he had spent quite a bit of time in Europe with all sorts of people.

    "College Friend" was immediately offended that I asked at all, that I asked him to get an HIV test, and stopped speaking to me forever more. Some friend he turned out to be.

    Well. Lucky for me, and my partner, I was tested twice afterward, and was negative both times.

    But it could have not turned out so good.

    Does any of the above make me a bad person? Maybe. But that's not the issue. The point is, I cared enough about my CURRENT partner, whom I love deeply, to ask the questions, get tested myself, and insist on tests in return to ensure that we are BOTH protected.

    (Of course, it also doesn't help that I'm now a Nursing student and get to learn about this stuff first hand.)

    Admittedly, I wasn't always entirely safe in my past, and by no means do I intend to demonize anyone whose past practices reflect similiar behaviors. The point is, there's a lot to look out for, that many are sadly turning a blind eye to. There's a lot of stuff out there besides HIV--gonhorrhea, HPV, herpes, syphilis--that you can have for years without knowing.

    You need to protect yourself first and foremost, because YOU are the only one who YOU can be sure of 100% of the time can and will do what it takes to protect you.
     
  25. mare

    mare New Member

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    Amen Sister! I've been an RN for 22 yrs. Here in FL we have to have CEU's on HIV/Aids updates & precautions to renew license....takes a whole new meaning when you're dating & hooking up again after a 19 yr relationship!!:eek4:

    Funny my teenage daughters found my stash of condoms!:nono:
    I had to explain to them that us woman have to look out for ourselves & protect ourselves if we are gonna put ourselves in those situations
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2006

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