Does Love really exist?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by SolidRanger, Mar 17, 2009.

  1. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    OK I'm 22. I've dated a few girls in my life. Longest relationship I've had lasted 6 months, and she was the only girl I ever loved, but she dumped me because she wanted to get married ASAP and I wasn't ready to get married.

    More and more I get the feeling that love, atleast the idea of love I've been brought up to believe in, doesn't exist.

    I've always had the picture of meeting the girl, going on a few dates, having sex, becoming exclusive, falling in love, and eventually getting married and having kids.

    However, it seems that this is just fantasy, and reality is actually a much different place. Typically I sleep with the girl on the first date, and the relationship fizzles out after a few weeks/months. I actually prefer not to do this, but from experience if I don't sleep with them and try to take it slow, they stop talking to me and I hear through the grapevine that she thought I wasn't interested because I didn't make a move. (even though I go for the hand hold or the kiss if it feels right).

    I'm not complaining or whining or anything. This is mostly just a question of reality vs fantasy. Are my exceptions too detached from reality? Do things rarely go that way?
     
  2. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    You haven't met the right person yet.

    It will happen. Then even the most cynical person will realise it does exist.

    I was 24 before it happened to me. I had lust, I liked people, but never head over heels in love.

    It's good.
     
  3. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    love is not what you see in movies.... but yes its real.

    ive been in love twice in my life. the second time was even more amazing then the first.

    im single now so it was not fearytale text book.... but it does not change the fact that i was in love.
     
  4. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    That's always been the opinion that I had, but wasn't entirely sure. I'm only 22 and I'm definitely not ready to get married, but I would like to meet a nice, classy woman and actually start something meaningful.

    That being said, what is your guys' opinion about dating? Should I try to take it slow like I would prefer, or keep going fast and hope for the best? lol
     
  5. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    See my edit for a bit more info. I hadn't experienced it at 22, have now. Things change. People grow up and get more in touch with how they really feel

    I see sex as good and enjoyable and all round fucking awesome fun for both people involved, so the sooner the better as far as I'm concerned. But each to their own.
     
  6. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    if you like to take it slow take it slow. when the right girl comes along for YOU then that side of you will be appreciated by her.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Does "love" exist? Of course.
    Does "love at first sight," "true love," or "eternal love" exist? Not really, maybe, and possibly.
     
  8. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    i've seen fairytale storybook love in my grandparents.. it was absolutely wonderful, and has given me hope. but honestly i think its really really rare.
     
  9. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    cliffs?
     
  10. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Now.... i have a question for you all. If you "think" you are in love with someone when you are going out, but then break up, and lose that feeling towards them, was that really love?
     
  11. giz

    giz Active Member

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    very vague question, but I think the answer could be yes in many different situations
     
  12. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    Good question, even if you really really like someone, even to the point where you can call it love, it hasn't been brought to that ultimate level where you both love each other and totally trust and respect each other.

    Of course I don't speak from experience there. I've been the lover in a relationship and I've been the loved, but never at the same time.
     
  13. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    You're 22

    /thread
     
  14. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    You totally missed the point
     
  15. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    love exists, but it doesn't mean you'll stay together forever just because you love each other.
     
  16. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Yeah....I didn't read any of your post beyond the first line, so I probably did.
     
  17. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Love can be fleeting and all that

    But it's hard to distinguish between love and infatuation when you are in the situation anyway.
     
  18. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Love exists and you do not need a GF or BF to feel it. I am sure some people here love their parents, siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc...

    The question I always ask is do you have Conditional Love or Unconditional Love? I believe once you achieve Unconditional Love you have found "true"
    love.

    What is Conditional vs. Unconditional? Well simple... Conditional Love is if your partner follows these rules (ie, does not cheat, flirt, etc..) they will have your love. Unconditional Love, more commonly found among family, is your brother could murder someone, but you would still love them the same.

    Then I find my self in the sad state of if my GF or Wife cheated on me, I would kick her to the curb in a heart beat, then again if she loved me she would never do that to me and so begins that philosophical never ending circle.
     
  19. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    How is that a sad state? Would taking back a cheater time and time again be a better state?
     
  20. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Its the cycle of "Unconditional Love"... if you love someone unconditionally you should take them back, but at the same rate, they should never do it.
     
  21. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    Romantic love is not unconditional unless you're a loser.
     
  22. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    What the fuck are you talking about? Just judging from this one paragraph I can tell you that your perceptions are way off. You are either going after the wrong women or are borderline delusional when it comes to what women want. Someone who is interested in you will not blow you off because you didn't fuck them on the first date. I'm amazed that you even think that.
     
  23. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    I disregard'd every post except the OP...

    and I will quote this

    Thats love to me :).
     
  24. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i think each time you learn a little bit about how to love more so each person you are with, you feel like you love them more than the last. i said i love you to my high school boyfriend of 3 years, and i'm sure i did. i loved him as much as i was capable of at that point in my life. i learned a little, and loved my college boyfriend more than that, and i love my husband more than the college boyfriend. each step you take, you grow up a little, you learn from your experiences in your previous relationships and you learn more about yourself and what you need and want from a partner.

    TS, love exists. you may have struck out with a lot of girls, but it only takes one to fall in love, so dont be discouraged. move the relationships along at whatever speed you feel comfortable. when the right girl comes along, you will know it
     
  25. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    I think it's ridiculous too. Let me explain something. For years, I was the nice guy, the typical hopeless romantic. I was always so polite, so respectful...so I never got respect. Any time a girl liked me I would try to take it really slow and get to know her but they would lose interest and I'd hear it from mutual acquaintances that she though I wasn't interested, or that I was a pussy who wouldn't make a move. I never had a girlfriend and I never got laid in high school.

    When I got out into the real world I learned to not be such a nice guy. I learned to be confident and funny and I got alot of female attention, and I got laid alot, but I've only had the one serious relationship, and even that one started off as a hookup. I learned to not be such a pussy, so on dates I would make moves on the girls (hand on the small of her back walking through the door, holding her hand as we walked, kissing, etc) and they would seem to respond well, but then I never hear from em again. However if I sleep with them the first night, they tend to stick around for a while. I really don't know, its just always been my experience that hooking up first simply worked better, because every time I've tried to the "take it slow approach" it never worked out, save for one time with a girl who was completely batshit insane. The reason I asked this question is basically everyone around me seems to take everything so fast, hooking up with people, then turning it into dating. I don't think I know a single person who actually truly dated the person they're with.

    Of course I really don't like hooking up, looking for a relationship. I'd much rather get to know a girl over the course of a few dates, then take it to the next level and go for a committed relationship, but it just has never really worked for me. But maybe that's just a false perception or maybe I'm just taking the actions of young, flaky girls too seriously and now that I'm getting a bit older I would have more success with the "take it slow" approach.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2009

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