1. Never really post in here but have seen some good advice given.

    I'm a 26 year old man and I have recently gotten a Divorce from my wife.

    We have been together without a break or anything for 8 years. Although we agreed to have a long engagement and both finish college before we tied the knot. We were married for 7 months. It all ended suddenly a few weeks ago.
    She has depression issues and I guess she felt she was unhappy with us so she told me to leave. I'm a nice guy (almost to a fault) so I left.

    I have gotten back on my feet as far as living conditions go. I went out and got a really nice loft in the heart of downtown. I went and bought new clothes, nice bed, nice couch. etc etc.

    I Miss her so much but at the same time I'm kinda stoked to be able to get out there and flex my charm again. I feel weird thinking that. I think I should be mourning more right?

    I have gone out almost every night with friends for the past 2 weeks. And I have been talking with a lot of girls, getting numbers setting up dates etc.


    I do feel sad in the morning time when I wake up alone. And sometimes at night when I lay down alone. (not really alone I have a dog and he like to put his ass right next to my face when I sleep. haha)

    But the other parts of the day I really don't even think about her.
    She was the greatest girl I had ever met and we were best friends. I do love her to death. But I really feel like moving on finding something again, something that this time may be real. I don't want to rush into things with another girl but I do want to get my self out there.


    So I guess my main concern is, Is this okay behavior? Or should I slow everything down a notch or two?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Of course it gets better, but you have to work for it to get better and believe it will get better.

    This divorce and everything is really really recent for you, you're obviously not going to be fine and dandy without issues in a few weeks.

    Stop worrying about what you think you should be feeling. Just live your life and do whatever makes you happy.

    Also, can I ask a question? If you two were together for 7 years before you got married how did it only fall apart after the marriage? Do you regret getting married or somehow blame the vows for the relationship downfall, or did you get married anyway recognizing these issues were all there?
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2008
  3. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    It can always get better.
    Just 8 years ago I was in a boatload of debt that I couldn't ever seeing myself getting out of. I had NEVER had a relationship with a woman that lasted more then a month and I lived in an apartment next to neighbors I despised.

    8 years later my credit has improved, I have paid off all those bills (and never filed for bankruptcy). I have moved out of that apartment, I have gotten married and have a 3 month old daughter.

    You know, 8 years ago I was just shy of suicidal. I saw no outcome to where I was in life except for negative outcomes.

    I sympathize. It can always get better. You have to work for it though.
     
  4. You got me? The divorce is 100% her idea. We were always great together, mentally and psychically. We had a great relationship. We were always told that by our friends and we took pride in that fact. We talked everyday, good talks, great talks even just about stuff. We went out often for dinner, plays, movies etc.. We had a great sex life. our most recent time being together being only days before she decided to drop the D bomb on me.


    She won't answer my phone calls. She changed the locks. etc. etc. I just think she kinda went crazy. Who knows.

    I go out to a lot of events and I meet a lot of women, great looking women, Women that I could have been with. I never did.

    Maybe she found someone else. I'm not sure. I may never know.
     
  5. Matrix0507

    Matrix0507 New Member

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    Well, you deserve to know...:ugh: My guess is she found something out about you and is being immature about it. That or someone else?
    Got any skeletons in your closet?
     
  6. Matrix0507

    Matrix0507 New Member

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    Also, I noticed you said something about being a "nice guy" and just walked out. Maybe she wanted you to fight for her or something. I know this may sound strange but in my opinion, girls aren't always looking for the sweetest nicest guy in the world...they're looking for the sweetest nicest guy with a spine, in the world :) meaning...don't always make plans with her, shoot down an idea or two of hers for something YOU want to do, keep her guessing, don't always let her "win" arguments by being a door mat. Be assertive and have her apologize to YOU when it is necessary. Don't be a jerk about it, just be a dominant figure in her life.
     
  7. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Should have gone in there and told her how things are going to be.
     
  8. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    Things always get better in due time. A few years ago I thought I was on the path to nowhere. Once I got the motivation to put in a little hard work and change my own personal attitude things changed. Since then I have been married, bought 2 houses within 2 years and started a business with my husband. It's growing slowly, but that's fine it's manageable while still working full time. With a little thought and effort on our part, things do work themselves out :)
     
  9. Don't worry I am not that nice. Just nice in certain situations. Trust me everything we did was a decision we both made.

    I also tried as hard as I could on the few days leading up to the "hey leave" deal.
     
  10. I understand. But I also think it's whats best for me. (and also maybe I'll just happen to bump into the ol' ex wife with a new lady in tow. That'll piss her off for sure. lol)
     
  11. I mean things have gotten better for me in the past week. Like I said I went a got a really nice loft in the heart of downtown Little Rock. (I know it's little rock, but hey its where everything goes down here)

    New wardrobe, got a raise, got a few gigs as a regular. I mean things are already getting better. It's just those few times a day that I start feeling like shit.
     
  12. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :rofl: at little rock. one of my good friends from college got a job there ~8 months ago. ;)

    originally i laughed at her for wanting to move there. i mean, not only is it arkansas, but it was her first job offer. :dunno: and she's not not making that much money compared to other job listings that are out there for people in our field. :o no offense, but is it really decent? :dunno:
     

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