FRK Does having a child affect your (freaky) sex life?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Ellecameezy, Apr 25, 2010.

  1. Ellecameezy

    Ellecameezy New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2010
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    This appears to be my second post, but I used to post on here before a few years back (see my recent first post in "Initiation"). Actually this forum is what attracted me to OT to begin with....

    Anyways, my man of 1 year and I have always had a very passionate sex life. Very open-minded, we always discussed possibilities of swinging or asking other women/men to join us. We haven't gotten around to actually doing it, probably because I haven't been emotionally ready for it. I have always fantasized about things like this, but haven't met a man really down to try anything until I met him. Turns out, he's done his share of freakyshit with many attractive women before I ever came around, his being in the Navy really gave him to opportunity to do fulfill many of his needs in the past...:naughty:

    So we talk about it a lot. We both enjoy anal, he loves it when I fuck him with my strap-on. We've even considered shemales and when we fuck we act out what she would be doin to us...

    Question is this. I'm now 15 weeks pregnant, and we still fantasize about this kind of thing. But having a baby on the way makes me hesitate, I'm having a few moral issues (go figure???) and wondering how we could possibly get down like that with a baby around?? I haven't discussed this with him yet.. Sometimes I feel that I'm not even attractive to him anymore...
     
  2. 4thgenceli

    4thgenceli Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2005
    Messages:
    2,229
    Likes Received:
    0
    Say hello to hormones!


    It is different for everyone. Last pregnancy (2nd child) my wife didn't want shit to do with me sexually. This most recent one that was lost, I had to beg for mercy because I couldn't keep up with her. Really is not a definite answer
     
  3. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    124,890
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Kc
    of course. There are ways around it, but yes it will affect your life. Might even change your personality. The motherly protect the kids idea might pop up.
     
  4. spooney

    spooney WTF Sony?

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    5,987
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montana
    Ours isn't too different. We are more freaky now but that also could be because we have been together for as long has we have.
     
  5. ACLdestroyer

    ACLdestroyer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2003
    Messages:
    35,101
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Los Angeles, Ca
    Personally I think that once you have children you should stop fucking around with anyone outside your relationship i.e. Threesomes, Playdates, etc.


    Children can subconsciously sense shit like that with their parents. Whether they know it or not the parents swinging or going outside the family can and will have direct influence on the way children develop sexually.


    Sorry to say but I think swngers should stay out of the the swinging crew until little dude/dudette is developed. Say 16-18 yrs old.
     
  6. Ellecameezy

    Ellecameezy New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2010
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks for the insightful replies.

    As for the hormones, I got the high sex drive.. he's not complaining lol!

    I do agree, ACL, to stay out of that scene until the kid(s) are older. The subconscious influence it would have on the child was my biggest concern. I guess hesitation kicks in for good reason, motherly instincts are taking over.

    I'm sure we'll find ways to keep it spicy minus the swinging. :)
     
  7. razi

    razi New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2007
    Messages:
    1,061
    Likes Received:
    0
    there are ways to hide it, aside from having the lil squidlet staying over at grandmas for a bit. however, before you start, you might want to discover how sonically transparent your house is- ie will the rugrat hear the spankings. ;)
     
  8. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    124,890
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Kc
    ACL
    do you think swinging is wrong ?
     
  9. Ellecameezy

    Ellecameezy New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2010
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Just curious, do any OT swingers have children also? How did you go about it, how old are/were your kids, and did you feel any hesitation?
     
  10. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    124,890
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Kc
    One couple I was with, their kids would be home nearly everytime. That was a little wrong. But I also only came over really late and they usually had friends over late, so it wasn't that big of a deal.
     
  11. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    50,615
    Likes Received:
    179
    Location:
    Dingoland
    I think it will most likely change while you are pregnant. While I was pregnant sex wasn't on my mind that much. However once I gave birth and recovered, sex was back to being as fun as it had ever been. The longer we have been together the freakier we have become, but I put that down to me maturing as a person more than anything.

    Your sex life shouldn't change that much, other than the impact having a child does on you emotionally and physically.
     
  12. ACLdestroyer

    ACLdestroyer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2003
    Messages:
    35,101
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Los Angeles, Ca
    No, not at all.
     
  13. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    124,890
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Kc
    Then how can it "damage" a child's development ?
     
  14. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2008
    Messages:
    2,057
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    IN
    My guess would be that they might grow up thinking it's okay to be with people outside their relationship. The child might end up being more promiscuous when they grow up and possibly cheat on their partners.


    I'm not even sure you should start doing it when they are older either (unless they moved out). My parents started to swing when I was 15 or 16 and it really affected me. I hated it and I hated their friends. I wanted things to go back to how they were. I started to act out. Then a year later or so they divorced.

    If you do swing or invite someone else to bed with you, I think you should do it very privately. Only invite the couple over when your child isn't home, so they don't see it.
     
  15. freckleface

    freckleface expose the raw nerve and get on with our lives...

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2009
    Messages:
    988
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    near the water.
    It didn't change me at first but then after our first threesome...my kids were 2 and 4. i seen how it effected our relationship. I don't see it happening again until after my kids are grown and gone. Just so many thing in life that can mess up a marriage why add this to it. We find lots of ways to have fun and be freaky without other people. Takes lots of talking to get where you are ready for this and then even more talking then you thought. You both need to be able to say what you want and don't want. Then what you think your comfy with once you do it you find out that you are not comfy. So i would say to focus on your new family for now at least give it a few yrs then think about it again. Starting a family is a hard but beautiful thing, give yourself a break.
     
  16. dumb_end_user

    dumb_end_user Sad Gus

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2001
    Messages:
    18,684
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle
    c'mon man, you can't seriously be asking that question.

    Kids are impressionable. Give them a fighting chance to make their own decisions (even if you feel that following in your footsteps is acceptable).
     
  17. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2006
    Messages:
    4,945
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Frozen Bowels of HELL
    For us it was a matter of not playing when the kids could be around. Not that hard to take it to a hotel or when the kids are at Grandma's or friends houses.
     
  18. ACLdestroyer

    ACLdestroyer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2003
    Messages:
    35,101
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Los Angeles, Ca


    Well personally I think a mother and a father are the best base to start a family from. Kids can sense or if youre not careful, See, that the mom and dad roles are confused when another man or woman is in the mix. I suppose the problem really is that every part of society they experience will teach them that a normal family is a mother and a father.

    A relationship other than what is considered "normal" could make them think that society does not approve of their family. THAT can be damaging.
     
  19. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    124,890
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Kc
    :mamoru: good argument against gays raising kids :mamoru:
     
  20. ACLdestroyer

    ACLdestroyer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2003
    Messages:
    35,101
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Los Angeles, Ca
    Well I agree. Im just saying that I think the best environment for a child to grow up in is one with a Father and Mother. Im sure two men or two women might have a shot but I dont believe it is the best possible environment. Meh.
    :dunno:
     
  21. joed1228

    joed1228 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2003
    Messages:
    1,507
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MA
    Dont try to figure them out, fight them as much as you can. You may not be in the mood but 30 seconds into intercourse I'm sure the feeling will sway you just a tad.

    For the most part; being preggo will. Sometimes it wont, sometimes it'll change things for a long time while other times hardly at all then it's back to normal. It depends on so much. There is no real answer aside from; if it changes things dont be surprised and make more of an effort to fix things if you want them different. Even if it's not your fault.

    My parents had 10 kids....their sex life never went stale. Even into my Dad's 50's.

    Leaving the gym vs getting back to the gym changes me. I go from quitting the gym for a bit and having no desire AT ALL to going back to the gym and getting into arguments, becoming resentful and just plain out being mean if I dont have sex at least once a day.

    I blew the fiance off for so long when I took time off from the gym, now I'm back, it has been a day since our last "encounter" and I'm ready to fly off the handle, get upset, not talk to her etc. Sometimes I get pissy if I cant have sex twice a day. It's not good, she's understanding when I'm not in the mood but I dont share the same courtesy.

    Argh, I'm keeping my mouth shut this time....it'll be back to once a day starting when we both get home from work today. The weekends.....jeepers, we just stay inside. The longer I'm with this girl the more sex we have and more she opens up. It has only been three years but things dont slow down or even stay the same. That's why I'm marrying this one, got to lock this chick down.
     
  22. DaZ

    DaZ System 9 And The 7 Dwarfs OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2004
    Messages:
    10,426
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    MA
    YES, my wifes vag is beyond fucked from having a kid
     
  23. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    50,615
    Likes Received:
    179
    Location:
    Dingoland
  24. Colleen

    Colleen Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2002
    Messages:
    90,186
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Summerland
    I just had a baby 3 weeks ago, and sex hasnt changed too much. While I was pregnant it sucked because I would be sick and towards the end I was so big lots of positions were uncomfortable. We just tried to have sex again the other day after 3 weeks of nothing. The worst part is prolly waiting for your body to heal and you be able to have the sex.

    Nothing changes though, baby has to sleep sometime. :mamoru:
     
  25. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    50,615
    Likes Received:
    179
    Location:
    Dingoland
    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

    Get back to me in 6 months, and then another year

    And wtf are you doing trying after 3 weeks? Good god woman!:mamoru:
     

Share This Page