Does dating exist?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Ideotique, Apr 21, 2009.

  1. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    This was posted on a UK forum I’m on and gave me pause for thought.



    After talking to an old flame earlier and deciding to get together sometime but making no definate plans I started thinking about the "dating"

    I hear about it all the time. On TV mainly but also from plenty of other sources including the old P&P...

    But it seems to me to be some sort of made-up game that only happens on Match.com and in Rom' Com's. Especially these supposed rules about who pays, how many dates before you can have sex, should you walk her home, when to kiss her etc etc etc.

    In the real world (mine anyway) it seems people meet in innocuous places in there everyday life, if they hit it off, they have a drink and a laugh then if it's good some sex.... After that meet again or go your seperate ways?

    I have never met anyone who has done the whole Sex and the City style dating game? Does it just happen in that there London or something? Or is it more for the middle aged folk?

    The closest I have ever got to a specific 'date' was after I gave a tasty neighbour a lift to work she later came to my house and asked if a fancied coming for a drink - then - beer, laughing, sex, relationship.

    I really do believe that you 'know' within a few minutes of meeting someone if it's going to go anywere, so what are the multiple 'dates' for?

    I'm not having a dig or trying to get approval her but was just wondering...

    Do people out there do the whole "Dating" Game?


    To my mind this rings true. The only time I’ve dated someone was when I didn’t have a better offer on the table. All my serious relationships have just started off with hitting it off with someone in an everyday location, going for a drink and then just progressing from there.

    Is it mainly a US thing? Just curious I guess.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    LOL, I used to love casual dating. Being able to just meet new people, learn about them, possibly sleep with them and then move on to the next is really fun.
     
  3. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    We use bars for that. It's cheaper than buying dinner.
     
  4. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Dating is what you do before you're engaged.

    It may or may not imply exclusivity.
     
  5. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    if the personality is good and the sex is good, why wouldn't you call them again ? :confused:
     
  6. Jacy

    Jacy red lipstick brigade

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    From what I've noticed and heard while living in Germany, I think it's just that the US has a strong dating culture... In Köln, many of the relationships of people I know here grew from friendships, casually hanging out, or just spawned from a drunken night at a party... without all the typical dating rituals that I'm used to seeing in the US. Luckily since I'm American, I think the guys I've dated here make an effort to play the dating game just because they know Americans are used to that. My German best girl friend expressed her jealousy that guys take me out on dates, and that she has never really been taken out on a real date before in her 27 years :o

    Of course there are Americans who don't 'date,' but it seems much more common in the US than in Germany... there are a lot of threads about this on a german message board that I post on :o
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2009
  7. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Yeah, that was more or less what I was thinking about.

    Both in the UK and in Aust. the whole dating culture just seems, well, non existent. People meet up at a party or whatever, and if things go well then just keep on keeping on. There's none of that ritual or anything like that. You just sort of go with the flow.

    It's not that we don't call again, we just don't go in for the formalised dating ritual. I dunno, it just seems really cliched and hackneyed from the outside I guess.

    I met my ex, for example, at a local bar. We got talking and left with a kiss. Couple of days later messaged me and we went to a friends party and things just developed. Sure, you go out for dinner, but in a much less kind of this is a date, then we will have another date etc etc kind of way. By meeting 2 I was sleeping with her. And this is how most things seem to go down.

    Dunno. Just interested I guess.
     
  8. Jacy

    Jacy red lipstick brigade

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  9. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Dating is just what you call the period of courting before you're exclusive. It can be going on official dates or just hanging out together. It can be 'friendly' or sexual. The details vary.
     
  10. vizyn

    vizyn New Member

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    Good personality/sex does not guarantee compatability in my opinion.
     
  11. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    This is why I avoid the term 'dating'. Most relationships develop from hanging out and vibing with an attractive person. Dating is just trying to force that connection and forcing things don't work, and often leave both men and women feeling let down and disappointed.
     
  12. giz

    giz Active Member

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    I go on "dates" but I've only dated one person. I knew I wanted date this girl pretty quickly... all the others I knew I didn't. Everybody else, I might set up one casual date but after that I rarely talk to them.
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    How do American guys do with dating in Germany? Are all the German chicks like "omg! (that's "O mein Gott" :rofl: ) he takes me out on dates! That's so awesome/sweet/American!"? Or are they like "Ach! What is this inefficient, superfluous courtship method? Fools! Don't waste my time!"?
     
  14. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    i prefer to meet women at the bars. the days of going to dinner and a movie are DEAD
     
  15. Climbing Cracker

    Climbing Cracker I am the Devil. And I am here to do the Devil's w

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    i disagree. that's exactly what I'm doing this weekend...then going to the bar :o

    scratch that, i'm just going to the bar, sans female. :cool:
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2009
  16. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i think ive been on a "date" twice in my life. excluding going on a date w. a girl im already seeing.

    normally i meet a girl, hit it off w. her, and from there we just start hanging out (party, sex, movies, whatever).

    i hate the whole formal dating thing.
     
  17. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    So you guys are referring to "actually going on dates" rather than "dating."

    So dinner and a movie is a "date."

    Is going to a concert a date?

    Is going to the grocery store together a date?

    is coming over and making dinner and watching a movie at your place a date?
     
  18. snoodles

    snoodles New Member

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    yeah grocery store, laundry, etc. can be made into dates i would say.
     
  19. snoodles

    snoodles New Member

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    i think the formalized ritual depends on the guy and girl. some girls/guys are old fashion and loved to do the whole classic idea of dating. others like to keep it simple and just go with the flow of things. i don't think it matters how it's done as long as you're both happy.
     
  20. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Yeah, I don't understand what the confusion is here. The article makes it sound like dating means it has to follow a formula, which is obviously not the case. Certainly there are people that have rules and if you look at everyone as a whole you can make some observations about 'averages' or whatever, but while I'm sure those differ from country to country, I don't think the U.S. is some strange creature when it comes to "dating".
     
  21. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    the article speaks of dating as in the beginning of a relationship. like...

    1. meet girl

    2. you and girl go on date one. dinner. no kiss.

    3. you and girl go on date two. movie. kiss.

    4. you and girl go on date 3. walk in the park. more passionate kissing.

    and so on.... until you have sex.
     
  22. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I do real dates.

    reservations, check
    ill pay, sure. my invitation.
    fun activity in a dimly lit space, check.


    oh yeah, i did meet her at a bar and we did have breakfast the next morning. But we pretty much go out once a week and only talk on the phone more or less to set up dates. I like it.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2009
  23. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Yeah, basically, and reading this forum and others this seems to be how it works in the US which is a bit foreign I guess. Yeah, sure, you go on dates, but it's usually only a product of yeah, we've woken up next to each other and got to talk to each other over a hungover breakfast, let's see what happens situation. Rathern than a OMG! I met this cute girl in a bookshop and we're going on a date to Olive Garden on Friday Night
     
  24. snoodles

    snoodles New Member

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    i would agreed. just depends on the couple. some that are more conservative/religious will take the more "traditional american" (if you want to call it that) approach. i'm sure each culture has their own "traditional" method, but again, how the couple goes about their relationship will vary person to person, couple to couple. there have been girls that i've dated in the "traditional" sense, others in a more"secular" (i dont' really know what else to call it) way.
     
  25. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    You're totally generalizing, man. You can't take the entire population of the United States and say "this is usually how it goes" because it just isn't. There is no system of 'dating' that the majority of people do. It's life. People go with the flow. Some people meet at a club, fuck, then start a relationship. Some people meet through friends and slowly develop into something serious. Some people meet at church and formally court each other. Some people meet randomly and hit it off. You simply cannot put millions of people into a blanket statement like you've tried to do.
     

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