SRS Does anyone else have that little voice...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Spiritus, Jul 28, 2005.

  1. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

    Oct 15, 2002
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    ...that is screaming on the inside?

    I feel like I can never achieve my potential despite my best efforts.

    Why do I feel like I have to be this totally unrealistic superguy you would see in a T.V. show? I mean I've had my times when I was that guy but I am always trying to obtain something better. If I was to reach that stage at all times, I would look for the NEXT best thing.

    Which leads me to my girlfriend. Beautiful angel, why do I insist on trying to find something better? I know it would be better for me AND her to stay together for a long time.

    I've had a breakdown before. I've been into serious drug abuse before. I think it's that voice trying to escape. The need to become better then now escapes when I inhale that sweet marijuana smoke or drink back that beer. At least it's only that now, it used to be harder drugs. Please, I don't want to hear any anti-drug shit, this is how I cope and it's my business.

    The thing is, I am trying to live for myself now. I thought I made this huge turn-around in my life. I seriously made huge changes for the better, cut off dead branches and grew beautiful new ones.

    I think I am addicted to changing myself. I can never be happy with this day, I'm always looking forward to tommorow. This sounds good, but when you hate how you are today then it's much more worse.

    I really don't know what to say. I keep on improving, my quality of life has skyrocketed compared to 6 months ago, and 6 months ago it was much better then 12 months ago.

    Is this a path to success or a problem? I feel like freaking out because I don't have it all. If I ever get it all it will never be enough... :hs: :hsugh:
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Oct 8, 2002
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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Its an essential part that comes before the final and most essential spiritual understanding, namely to LOVE yourself. Sometimes , (and i learned this from a handicapped person) we always tend to look at our bad sides, when this one particular guy became handicapped he was frustrated by all the things he wasn't able to do, until he came to the realisation that you should 'never look at the things you don't have, and always look at the things you DO have'

    And you have to be realistic, changing yourself requires far more effort then a simple fantasy would make you believe it would. It might take years. However not to be despaired, when you keep focussing on love and helping others, then you will understand that the things that you are screaming to pursued are only temporarily strenghts and weaknesses. You will find your true essence in Love, and gradually the screaming demand of your inner self to become something will stop.
  3. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

    May 20, 2005
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    It's because you could be that guy if you tried hard enough. I mean, everybody could be really muscular and super smart and successful if they tried hard enough. I know that bothers me, because I could be better.

    But I guess you shouldn't worry, because even if you're not happy with yourself, just realize that those superguys didn't start out that way, they had to work for it too. There are people who do try harder, instead of escaping with drugs, so you could be one of them too if you were motivated enough.

    Even if you're not totally satisfied, you have to enjoy every moment you're in, or else you'll never be happy, because you'll never be perfect. And then even if somehow you did become perfect, you would look back and think about all the time you wasted worrying because you got to your goal after all.

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