SRS Do you have faith in the opposite sex?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Supernoma, Feb 10, 2005.

  1. Supernoma

    Supernoma servus publicae OT Supporter

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    I really try to have faith in women. I try to think that there are genuinely good women, I just havent met them yet. But the things I see really make me question them. I dont hear from my g/f for almost 2 weeks. Then out of the blue she breaks up with me. While her friend is in the hospital I find out that her friend has been carrying on a relationship with two people (of of which is a good friend of mine) It would appear my g/f knew this and never told me... now I cant help but wonder if I too had unforeseen competition.

    I swear, I seem to have the worst luck with women. :hs:
     
  2. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    Sometimes it depends on weather they are to willing commit, the same with men too. But not all woman are bad. Sometimes the bad seeds do not bloom until you realy shine some light on them. Your girl friend was one of those girls that would of evetually turned into a bad seed no matter what would of happened. And, alot of the times it has too do with age too. If the girl is a teenager then tenns tend too do things they would not do if we were older. Maturity is always the reason. The older you get the more you mature. The older woman get the more they want to settle down and spend the rest of their lifes with someone. Maybe you and her were not too be, maybe that special person is looking for someone like you right now. I hope you find a wonderful woman to spend your life with. Cheer up, there are other fish in the sea. And some that are willing too grasp that concept of boyfriend and girlfriend. I am also not saying age differences are a key factor in a relatonship, but sometimes if you wanna a girl that is in depth with what you know and want it is always a good thing to be at the same age level or around there. It is also good to be ready to take that step called commitment. If all they want to do is party, not a good time to ask for a relationship. But, you never know some people are willing too change. I hope everything works out with you and your next, good luck.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2005
  3. Supernoma

    Supernoma servus publicae OT Supporter

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    Kinda funny how just a couple hours can really change things. I got an email from her, explaning abit as to what was going on. It all sounds very convincing, but I will refrain from my final judgement for now.
    Wether or not things are over now reamins to be seen.
     
  4. Wow, I saw this post and I zoomed right in without realizing you wrote it. I guess I do lack faith, but I'm really trying hard.
     
  5. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    no matter how many times I have been burned, I still find myself opening back up.

    perhaps I'm just gullible. I know it's not cause I haven't been hurt bad enough :hs:
     
  6. Supernoma

    Supernoma servus publicae OT Supporter

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    Better to open up and be bured everytime, then to close off from the world and miss something special.
     
  7. I agree. By the way read my new thread.
     
  8. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    I didn't always agree with that. I closed myself off, and buried/suppressed a LOT for well over a decade.
     
  9. Alright, I deleted my post. I know what I need to do now.
     
  10. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    I was raped by a "friend" I had had for years. My female friends and a lot of my family thought it would be easier for them if I dealt with that on my own. I have been cheated on by two guys....

    I find it real hard to trust anyone most of the time...
     
  11. I don't fuckin blame ya. I would too.
     
  12. Supernoma

    Supernoma servus publicae OT Supporter

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    You do? What are you thinking?
     
  13. Let go and Let God.
     
  14. Supernoma

    Supernoma servus publicae OT Supporter

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    Ah, I follow you now. A fine choice of actions; I hope some reflection will give some comfort.
     
  15. the Rosswog

    the Rosswog OT Supporter

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    im struggling with faith in women right now.

    last year i was emotionally devastated... ive recovered but it will take a long time before i trust anyone. If 6 years ended up meaning nothing, i have a hard time believing anything has meaning.

    I am open to relationships and commitment... i just will never look at things the same way again.
     
  16. sirrach

    sirrach New Member

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    I think it is hard for anyone who has dealt with being hurt to trust/have faith once again. I am going through a similar situation, and the best advice I can give is to keep what was the past in the past, learn from your mistakes, and move on towards the future.

    It's not easy, and never will be. But in order for you to be at peace with yourself and other in your life, you need to forgive and move on.
     
  17. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    I obviously don't know your exact situation. But people change, and perhaps it once did mean something.

    I'm not condoning anything that was done to you by any stretch of the imagination.

    Last year, my brother's wife freaked out on him when he got back from a 3 week business trip. They had been together for 4 years dating, then 3 years married at this point.

    She screamed at him that she couldn't handle the pressure - quite a literal quote mind you, and said she was going to stay with her sister. She never came back. She refused to speak with him. He still doesn't really know why, or what provoked it. He suspects she was having inappropriate feelings for someone else.

    At anyrate, their entire interaction after that moment was pretty much by e-mail, and he was forced to file for divorce.

    I certainly don't condone what she did, or how she handled it at all. But I think that Jason (my brother) is now past the bitterness, and anger, and realizes that he can't really look at 7 years of his life as a "waste" or "meaning nothing".

    he had genuine good/loving and fun times. He also learned a lot (obviously). He's now looking at it as not only a learning experience, but also as an opportunity to find someone even better/healthier.

    It's not easy to have that mental outlook. Lord knows in many of my past relationships I couldn't/wouldn't. But it's a LOT healthier than some of what I did. :hs:
     
  18. Mel

    Mel RIP James :(

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    I do have faith in the opposite sex. I have faith in all people, really. Perhaps I'm overly optimistic though.

    :hug: I still love you :)
     
  19. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    deep in the shadows of my mind...
    i dont have faith in the opposite sex either. i find it hard to believe that a man can be committed to a woman, and genuinely love her. i dont think i will ever get married cause i cant see a man loving me that much to want to be with me for the rest of his life
     
  20. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    I was watching Dr Phil the other day on a show about trusting the opposite sex. He said trust has nothing to do with the other person or what they do to you...

    It is actually about trusting yourself. Trusting whether you will be able to handle whatever bad things that may happen.

    I think that he has a valid point but I don't bite all that completely...
     
  21. I actually agree with him. I think it's not entirely about what happens to you that defines your experience. I believe it's how you respond to what happens to you that defines your experience. Whether it be a loving relationship that is going well, or a relationship that turns sour. It's how you act - the way you behave and the choices you make that define how it'll all turn out.
     
  22. Pioneer

    Pioneer Are you annoyed? You will be.

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    I'm genuinely in love with a woman I know I could commit to. I'm near tears everytime I think about her because she moved away 2 months ago. I've walked away from great looking women without even thinking about it because I'd rather be with her. :sadwavey:
     
  23. Supernoma

    Supernoma servus publicae OT Supporter

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    Well hello stranger. I'm really sorry if I was an ass to you before. You know I'm a nice guy. I offered to lend you my goat, that must say something. :wiggle:
     
  24. Mel

    Mel RIP James :(

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    I'm forgiving. :)
     
  25. But that doesn't mean he's forgiven. :wavey:
     

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