Do you believe in Marriage?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Insight, Feb 22, 2005.

  1. Insight

    Insight Guest

    A day before Valentine's Day, two close friends of mine decided to end their marriage a day before their 1st year anniversery stating that they weren't who they thought they were, and that they had changed. My parents divorced, my mother twice. My cousin was raised by a single, divorced mom. Another relative close to me is struggling daily with his marriage after 5 short years.

    I don't know the actual statistics, but heresay places the rate at approximately 70%.

    Has the system just become a temporary tax shelter?
     
  2. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    it can be pretty disillusional at times, but i still believe in marriage. my grandparents, and parents have stayed married. (although my father died at 56 y/o of cancer).

    sometimes i think people just give up too easy, and don't work through the tough times.
    just like life - marriage is going to have ups and downs, and it's going to be a real job at times, but i do think with effort it can work for a lot of people.
     
  3. marraige isn't supposed to be 100% agreement and happy times, that's the test of two people's love for each other is when they can see past the petty fights and stay together. I consider myself a bit marraige shy though, I don't want to marry someone too soon.
     
  4. Penny1484

    Penny1484 cute but kind of evil

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    my parents have been married for over 25 years, so yes, i believe in it.
     
  5. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    I believe in it. I also believe alot of people get married too young and too soon, hence the problems. You gotta be ready for it.
     
  6. russd10089

    russd10089 New Member

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    I believe in 2 people loving eachother and being faithful to eachother til death.
    I believe in the ceremony of marriage.
    But i don't believe that you have to be lawfully married to enjoy your life the same with that special person.
    It's a special bond between partners, not a LAW.
     
  7. Transporter

    Transporter A Bathing Ape

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    not before i get out of college.
     
  8. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    smart. we need more people like you
     
  9. Isolt78

    Isolt78 Guest

    I don't think it has anything to do with age, the divorce rate certainly isn't any lower for couples who marry older. It's just a matter of evaluating your motives, where you are at the moment, etc.
     
  10. Insight

    Insight Guest

    I don't plan on getting married till after I get out of college AND after I stabilize myself on my career path with healthy financial status.

    So I'll be like 30 :)
     
  11. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    Insight has real insight ;)
     
  12. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    It really depends on your education level and level of upbringing and economic position; where you live and the type of people you associate yourself with.

    My parents, all of their parents; our family friends, and my girlfriends parents and her family friends are all married; and happy from what I can tell.

    It all depends on the people, their level of education and the ideas that they take into marriage about marriage or relationships.... marriage is only a paper, but to make any "relationship" work takes hard work, most people don't realise this and take being with one another as a given or take it for granted...

    Yet a relationship requires TLC, watering just like a plant... It wont run on its own fuel.
     
  13. BiffHenderson

    BiffHenderson New Member

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    I beleive it....probably because I am.

    chlywly brought up some good points. I beleive to a certiain degree that people with a similar background/upbringing are more compatable. Also, sharing similar goals in life helps. Now, I'm not saying you have to marry a "clone" of you, but have similar goals and values really helps.

    I believe living together first helps quite a bit. I remember the priest telling us that more marriages fail when people live together first, but we didn't buy it. My wife and I lived together for a good 5 years before getting married.

    And people are right...You're not going to be 100% happy 100% of the time, you may have a bad day at work, your husband/wife may not be feeling well, you may get on eachothers' nerves. It happens, but you work through it. That's what it's all about.
     
  14. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Commitment means more than just physically staying together. You have to commit to taking care of each other's emotional needs. Compliments and loving physical contact exist in the happiest marriages.
     
  15. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the avatar...how about you just sh

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    yes



    *gladly accepts award for most concise answer*
     
  16. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    I really really really do believe that two people who have the kind of relationship that allows them to stay in a committed, loving relationship for the remainder of their natural lives have something good going on. I believe that those kinds of relationships do exist. “Marriage” has gotten saddled with a whole lot of political, religious, and legal baggage, not to mention ridiculous expectations people have put on it.
     
  17. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the avatar...how about you just sh

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    Seems to me the biggest problem is most people have no concept of how long forever is.
    Top that off with monogomy forever.
     
  18. timberwolf

    timberwolf New Member

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    Gf and I have been living together almost 4 years and have been together almost 7. We don't plan on getting married so...I guess I don't believe in it. Still I do believe in a commited relationship.
    Now if I was with a different girl who wanted to get married... I would do it for her if we were in a commited relationship and planning to remain so.
     
  19. timberwolf

    timberwolf New Member

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    :werd:
    Unfortunately, one of those ridiculous expectations is that once married, they no longer have to work on the relationship.
     
  20. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    i believe in marriage, but i don't believe a lot of people feel the same way about it as i do. :sad2:

    IF i get married, i don't see it happening before i'm 30... (finishing undergrad, masters, phd, career...etc). :o
     
  21. meme

    meme New Member

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    yes, i do. i've been married for 20 years.

    yes, there are the ups and downs, but it is a journey that we both decided to take together. and you have to constantly create it. be honest with each other.

    sounds mushy, but i love him more every day. i'm still learning things about him. i'm glad that he is my partner in my journey through life.

    :)
     
  22. Isolt78

    Isolt78 Guest

    That's sweet :) . I agree...I'm pretty much just a newlywed though, so I don't have much experience.
     
  23. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    i dont believe in it for myself, although i believe in it for others. my parents just celebrated their 34th anniversary yesterday, and when you factor in how long they dated/were engaged they have been together 40 years (and they are only 53 and 54). i just dont know if i could stay with the same man for the rest of my life and if they would want to stay with me forever also.
     
  24. D

    D A guiltless state of self awareness.. The process

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    No. Dumbest thing I've ever done....Almost.
     
  25. I believe in marriage.
     

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