SRS do u think my ex gf was lying all the time? i feel so damn stupid

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by quamen, Jan 20, 2006.

  1. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Lately I have been down because i have been missing my gf. With minimal amount of friends,she really held something special inside my heart and i loved her so much. She was very pretty,smart,intelligent and everything i wanted almost. She seemed to love me so much,did anything for me,always told me she loved me and stuck by my side through very difficult times we had. Then one day at a party she cheats on me with her ex,and i didnt take her back. Im just wondering if this whole time she was just lying to me,because if she really loved me she wouldnt have slept with him.

    He was an idiot to her and cheated on her plenty of times,and she says she regrets it so much but i cant trust a cheater. I just feel really stupid and played since i put so much into the relationship. She was my only gf i ever had and im 24 years old,and im not very good with the woman as many as you know that is prolly why im missing her so much.

    Im a very romantic type of guy and treat every girl I have ever took out with much repsect which they deserved. Im a totally nice guy which i cant help,but my game is no good so i dont pull woman,because i think im at least average looking,but at many times i feel im ugly.
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You can 'love' someone, meaning you can feel emotionally bonded to them, and still do something that might hurt them.

    Love is a complex emotion, and that one single word contains a vast range of feelings and behaviours.

    Did she love you? Yep, probably did. Sometimes feeling linked to another person doesn't prevent them from doing something they shouldn't do.

    You're combining love with ethical behaviour. Try to see the two things as separate. Related, but separate.

    Someone who is really bound by their ethics wouldn't cheat on you even if the love has sorta cooled off. They'd just come out and tell you its off.

    And conversely, someone who REALLY loves you, but feels drawn somewhere else, might NOT tell you because he/she doesn't want to hurt you or devastate you.

    And lastly, they might not tell you because they're not sure they themselves can own up to those kinds of feelings.

    So you can see that the old idea of "well, if she LOVED me, she wouldn't have cheated" isn't necessarily all that cut and dried.


    Oh and the part where you "feel ugly"? Don't. Everyone can have that feeling, it's natural to have your self-esteem take a temporary nosedive after an incident like this. And then you feel ugly.

    Many otherwise HOT women say they feel FAT and UGLY after getting dumped. Their mind lies to them, because they're feeling the pain and trauma of being dumped.

    In reality, they're still very hot, and there's probably dozens of guys who'd give their left nut to hop on top of them. Self image doesn't always equal true image.

    Remember that as it applies to yourself.
     
  3. yawgmoth

    yawgmoth nine > ten OT Supporter

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    nice reply johan...I found that helpful to me, hopefully quamen finds some solace in it too
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I think that you definitly where the better person in all this. And honestly you don't want to be with a person who doesn't treat you as her nr.1, you don't want to be with a liar for all that matters. Anyway , she has moved on and i suggest you do the same , just be who you want to be and don't change because it would supposedly attract girls, you can thrill a girl much as anyone else im sure of it.
     
  5. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    WORD to the Johan. I cannot really add anything to that. But I wish you the best. :)
     
  6. Kytro

    Kytro I am become death, shatterer of worlds

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    I don't think this is strictly true. people make mistakes, espically at parties, with people with whom they have shared affection before.

    Anyone can cheat given the right circumstances.
     
  7. SICK GUY

    SICK GUY 69, DUDE!!

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    dont confuse love and lust. just because she cheated, that doesnt mean her love was a lie. just means there is something there still with the ex. talk to her about it, ask why she did it. dont take her back, but atleast get an honest answer. it will help you understand relationships better down the road.
     

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