SRS Do I want to breakup with my girlfriend? Can't decide at all

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Fachh, Oct 1, 2007.

  1. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    -I have OCD
    -Half the day I'll think I want to breakup with my gf
    -the other half I'll think im being too rash
    -When I see her I sometimes think I need to get away
    -Other times I love her dearly

    We are both 21
    been together 4 years, healthy sex life and there is really nothing wrong with the relationship

    it almost feels as if i am creating problems, I feel bored

    Help me OT. what are some key questions I can ask myself? I've been contemplating it for over a week and have yet to find an answer
     
  2. BeHeadR

    BeHeadR Only Slightly Insane

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    Well it's just my opinion that long term relationships are idiotic when you are that young. This is the time that you are supposed to be out dating multiple girls and figuring out what you like, and what is right for you. You need to experience what life has to offer, not tie yourself down with one girl.
     
  3. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    I sometimes wonder if I have convinced myself that she is the one for me just cus we have been together for so long

    when it comes to breaking up with someone all I can think about is how much I am going to hurt that other person...but I know I can pussy out if it comes down to it, im just too empathetic
     
  4. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    I agree, though I wouldn't necessarily use the term idiotic...they're good learning experiences, regardless of the outcome.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: You do realize OCD has nothing to do with you being indecisive...right? :hsugh:
     
  6. HatSee

    HatSee Active Member

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    :werd:
     
  7. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    well I am not sure about this

    last few nights I have spent at her place I have had this massive anxiety where I have intrusive thoughts that I need to get away from my girlfriend until it reaches a peak

    after that peak I feel completely normal again and want to be with her
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Sounds pretty obvious that your brain is over the relationship but your heart is making you stick with it because you are too afraid to leave her and be alone.
     
  9. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    Maybe you are right

    it isn't so much that I am afraid but more that I can't stand to leave her

    she is wonderful, helped me get over a drug addiction, has no major flaws that I can think of...

    yet I find myself bored and I feel terrible for it
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I hear ya, I mean you've been together 4 years. Any relationship that lasts years is hard to get over; you've done so much together. There's always a feeling of guilt especially if your feelings just start to falter. You can grip onto the past and how great things were, or go situation by situation and think one day how great she is. But the real question is "is this who you want to spend the rest of your life with?" You are only 21 years old. I know she's probably a great girl and doesn't deserve the heartbreak...but sometimes you have to think for yourself. You would be doing her a favor letting her go as opposed to just sticking with her and constantly wondering if you should move on.
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    you need therapy, not a breakup. You think breakup because the chaos will be diverting, for a while.

    Through therapy you may change your patterns, and this may result in you reevaluating your relationship.
    Or more likely, she might see you differently.

    But first things first. Go talk with someone.



    Here's a flow for you to follow:

    Who's treating your OCD?
    Have you been diagnosed, or are you giving yourself that label?
    If you've been diagnosed, are you on meds?
    If you're on meds, was that prescribed by a psychiatrist?
    If so, continue to talk to him/her about your thought disturbances.

    Focus on that, instead of breakup/no-breakup.
     
  12. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    what kind of therapy are you talking about? I have sent my OCD into remission with ERP therapy...perhaps this anxiety isn't OCD related
     
  13. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    I know she isn't the one for me for the rest of my life but yeah, she just doesn't deserve the heartbreak at all

    I'm gonna wait until she gets back from thanksgiving with her folks to end it
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Um...that's over a month away. Why would you put it off til then?
     
  15. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    We have it on a different day in Canada, only a few days away
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh :rofl:

    But yeah, that's a good idea than. Waiting longer only makes it harder and you keep denying and trying to change your mind.
     
  17. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    Think its better to do it after or before? Maybe she'll want to go to a comforting place after?
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2007
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It's a tough call...because I know you care about her and don't want to cause her pain. If you do it before than she's surrounded by her family for Thanksgiving, just might have a shitty time. If you do it after...well then you do it after. It's really up to you and when you feel is a good time to bring it up. Either time you do it it's probably going to be hard.
     
  19. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    I'd do it after. I was sick and going through a breakup over Thanksgiving last year. It sucked. Totally ruined the holiday for me. Wait until after.
     
  20. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    oh its gonna be hard alright

    fuck me
     
  21. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    ty for input

     

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