SRS Do I spend money to fill a void in my life?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Arkaybee, Sep 4, 2008.

  1. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place
    As most of you know I have recently gotten divorced.

    Ever since the divorce I have been spending money like crazy. Here is the list so far (in order of purchase date):
    Sirius satellite radio
    Xbox 360 (with games/controllers)
    Xbox Live
    50" Plasma TV
    5.1 Wireless Surround Sound with 5 disc upconvert DVD player

    Now here is the thing, I haven't just gone out and thrown all this on a credit card. I bought the Sirius with my tax return, the xbox with a bonus from work, the TV with my cashed out 401k (don't comment on this please, thats another story), and the surround sound with the price match rebate I got after the TV went on sale.

    I use the Siruis everyday at my new job and have been looking at getting one for a long time. I bought the xbox to keep myself busy when I wasn't working so I wouldn't be thinking about suicide or my exwife. I cashed out my 401k from my old job to pay for repairs to my car and used the rest to buy half of a plasma TV and then when I saw that the TV went on sale (gg Best Buy price match guarantee :wavey:) they credited me the difference and I bought a badass home theater sound system.

    Am I trying to fill a void by making purchases? Or am I realizing that now that I am single (and have a pretty good paying job) that I can buy all the toys I wanted and not have to worry about a family?
     
  2. FuzzyBunny

    FuzzyBunny I Doubt It

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2006
    Messages:
    19,020
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Florida
    Are you living within your means? Are you still putting money aside? As long as this isn't getting unhealthy, and its not impacting your financial well being I don't personally see anything wrong with it. Hell I just got a new job and I have the itch to drop some cash on a new toy :dunno: maybe its natural.
     
  3. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place
    Yeah, I can still pay all my bills, my car loan, inusrance, etc and I am throwing a bit of money into my savings account that I never touch :hs:
     
  4. Voltekker

    Voltekker Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    8,095
    Likes Received:
    0
    your are missing hookers and blow, I don't think you are spending to spend maybe its just things you wanted that your wife didn't let you have. All the things you bought kinda go together to.
     
  5. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place

    Haha this is true. We had an old crappy CRT TV for the longest time until her sister gave us a old 47 inch (non HD) and she would never let me get a 360. Its amazing how much your bankroll increases after the breakup :mamoru:
     
  6. kendog

    kendog Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2006
    Messages:
    36,292
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    PNW
    I don't know about a void but I'm pretty sure it's common for depressed people to loosen up on their spending and buy a lot of stuff. When I went through a rough time I ate out a lot and racked up a little bill on my CC.
     
  7. oakback

    oakback New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2008
    Messages:
    1,142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    N.FL
    Sounds like you just want good music and like video games. Nothing wrong there.
     
  8. Mr3GTP

    Mr3GTP OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2006
    Messages:
    30,603
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    O motherfucking HI-O
    I "cut loose" a little too after the divorce. Nothing crazy, just did what I wanted, without that angry little voice bitching in the background.
     
  9. Voltekker

    Voltekker Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    8,095
    Likes Received:
    0
    im getting married in November.
     
  10. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place
    Its not too late to turn back :hsugh:
     
  11. squid

    squid braap

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    4,148
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    91403
    I sure as hell do.

    Probably. So what? Go get laid ;)
     
  12. sony

    sony Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2004
    Messages:
    112,721
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    That doesn't look excessive to me. You're still living in your means so I don't really see a problem especially since you are enjoying yourself with the things you bought. :cool:
     
  13. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place

    You got that right. I've jumped 20 points on COD4 since I got the plasma tv :bowdown:
     
  14. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place

    I like this suggestion :bowdown:
     
  15. jaydub

    jaydub Every calling is great when greatly pursued.

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2000
    Messages:
    88,366
    Likes Received:
    0
    That's exactly what I did when I divorced. I bought a bunch of shit I didn't need, and now I regret it.

    It didn't take long to get out of it, but the damage had been done. It wasn't damning or anything, but it was a waste. I had this friend who I'd go shopping with every weekend, and I'd buy shoes, jeans, etc. I'd buy her lunch/dinner, you name it. It was like I had to prove to everybody that I was self-sufficient, even if it meant being financially irresponsible.

    Break the cycle when you recognize it. You'll thank yourself in the end.
     
  16. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place
    All these purchases are spread out over the course of about three months. And I have bought myself a new pair of jeans and two new shirts in the same time as well but I am actually pretty stingy with my money. Its just a few huge purchases that I make instead of lots of small ones. I try not to spend money I don't have though. I am trying to keep an eye on it
     
  17. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    I have been spending like crazy to, (not divorced, just depressed), and take it from me, it doesn't work. In the last 2 months I've spent a shit load of cash, including a brand new car, and I'm still the same miserable fucker I was before. Only now, I have nicer stuff. :hs:
     
  18. sony

    sony Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2004
    Messages:
    112,721
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    He doesn't need that stuff but it sounds like hes getting quite a bit of enjoyment out of it. From what I can tell he is still spending his money responsibly; he isn't incurring any debt from the purchases and he can still afford to pay his bills.
     
  19. sony

    sony Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2004
    Messages:
    112,721
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    What's your gamertag? I will add you and destroy you :x:
     
  20. jaydub

    jaydub Every calling is great when greatly pursued.

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2000
    Messages:
    88,366
    Likes Received:
    0
    I got a lot of enjoyment out of what I bought too, but it was temporary. :hs:
     
  21. sony

    sony Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2004
    Messages:
    112,721
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    :hug:
     
  22. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place
    arkaybee

    and yes, you prolly will ha. I'm not that great....yet.
     
  23. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Nothing in life can fill up the black hole in your soul ,exept by loving and helping other people. Its an expression of frustration to buy those things because you weren't allowed to get them during the relationship. This only displays that there was an ongoing battle over control inside of the relationship, it seems both of you were extremely unhappy with eachother. I don't think she accepted you for the person who you were, and pushed enormous pressure on you to change. Trying to change a person during a relationship is in general a bad idea, but sometimes its essensially needed. But it can come to a breaking point where you just have to escape from all the misery.

    Don't feel bad about the things you've bought, its just steam your venting, its true that you don't need these things, but you definitly did need to release some steam from the kettle. If i where you id put the things away and not spend so much attention to it anymore. Rather don't waste time and get your life organised. Computer games aren't designed to make you happy, like any form of addiction they make your life go around in circles, breaking the cycle and moving forward with your life, is life changing, you need this life change, and you should only waste effort on those things that will make you go forward in life. This is something you should not underestimate, think about it,and free yourself by jumping out of the vicious circle of denial and computer game addiction.
     
  24. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    7,000
    Likes Received:
    4
    I kinda did the same thing when I broke up with my ex but then again there were other issues at hand..

    I bought a guitar and a z28
     
  25. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place

    Whoa...who said I was addicted to computer games? I play them more now I have an awesome TV but I don't think I am addicted. I shut it off when I need to go to bed (around 11pm, sometimes earlier) and only play for about an hour at a time on most days.

    I feel that my life is in "recovery mode" right now. I have tried to dissapear from the world and have restricted talking to and hanging out with only a small selection of friends who have been there for me through the good and bad.
     

Share This Page