SRS Divorced father, moving to another state, need help finding an advocate for my rights

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by noradninja, Oct 9, 2007.

  1. noradninja

    noradninja New Member

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    Ok guys, I REALLY need your help.

    First, for background, read this thred:
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2986512

    My ex-wife and I were divorced in April of this year. I am unemployed and living off the alimony that I recieve each month as per our pre-nuptial agreement taht was arranged by her father. I am going to be moving to SC in April of 2006 to persue career opportunities in the Computer Animation field, and to support my son from my previous marriage, my fiancee, and the baby we have coming.

    I am dealing with an ex who seems to think she can dictate the terms of my visitation rights with my son at her discretion and will. We have legal joint custody; however, as per the 'standard' in Kansas, his residency resides with her. I pay child support to her each month to provide monetary support to my son, from the alimony I recieve from her.

    I have asked her to meet with a mediatior prior to my move to discuss the terms of my visitation rights as it pertains to my son once I move; however, she has stated that if I want to see him, the only choice I have is to travel to Kansas. She is unwilling to even discuss any alternatives, and says she is going to take me to court. I need to know what legal recourse I have, as well as any help you guys can give in finding (cheap, or free, as I am poor) legal aid and advocacy for my right to see my son under equitable (ie, not defined by her) terms to both parents and my son. This is tearing me up, for on the one hand, I have a new family coming and am looking forward to persuing a career in the field I went to college for, but at the same time, I feel like she is dictating to me what my rights are, and I feel like I have no where to turn to see that I get fair treatment and consideration when it comes to my ability to see my son once I move. I am not trying to remove her custody or take my son away from her; I simply want fair terms when it comes to seeing my son once I move. Please help me, I am desperate.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2007
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Because each state has its own laws around divorce and terms on custody, i advice you to goto

    http://forum.freeadvice.com

    When posting a question there, you include your State, and people with law expertise will give you free legal advice on what you can do.
     
  3. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Contact a lawyer. They know the laws best and can give you official counsel. If you take counsel from anyone else and get screwed, you have only yourself to blame.
     
  4. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    So sad.
    A child needs a Father. Just like a child needs a Mother. I am afraid our society doesn't recognize that.
     
  5. CastorTroy

    CastorTroy New Member

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    A fellow Kansan :wavey:

    First, was any child visitation or other arrangements in the divorce decree? If so she must abide by them, if not you have state statutes on your side. You have joint custody, which in Kansas gives you equal rights to see your son with reasonable arrangements, and make decisions on his behalf. If she feels she is above the law she can take you to court, but all that would be detrimental to her cause since the judge will then just mandate you two to set a visitation schedule. Moving to another state will complicate things a bit though, since his residency will remain in Kansas, you will have to travel to see him, or get him and take him back to SC. To the best of my knowledge you cant force the other parent to bring him to you if that's what you mean.

    This sounds like it's court bound to me, and you're going to need a lawyer. Kansas Legal Services www.kansaslegalservices.org may be able to help you with representation on a sliding scale fee, and depending on your definition of "cheap" I know several good lawyers who can help you out, but figure on $1,000 retainer plus a couple hundred every hour for court time, it won't be cheap if she fights this. First thing is to get some sort of representation, and let them sort through this mess and handle it for you.
     
  6. noradninja

    noradninja New Member

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    Yeah, there are visitation rules outlined in the decree, my issue is that once i move she is mandating that I have to go to KC to visit him, which is not covered in any way under the decree. I again am not trying to seek any sort of unfair terms when it comes to my rights to my son once i move, however, I dont think she has a LEGAL right to force me to go to KC to see him. I appreciate the link, its something that I will have to look into, because I merely want to sit down with a lawyer and work to gain fair rights to see him where I live in an equitable fashion, which I doubt any judge is going to argue against. I think you are right in that I will have to seek representation for this, because she seems to be unwilling to allow me to have him out of state for any period of time, and due to job and obligations to my wife and our child on the way, me traveling to KC is more or less out of the question. Again, thanks for the info and advice, I will keep you all posted on how thigns work out.
     
  7. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    and what makes you think she should be forced to come to sc so you can see him?
     
  8. noradninja

    noradninja New Member

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    I never said she has to come to SC so I could see him. But I do think I should have the right to pick him up in KC and take him to where I live so that I can see him. And she certainly does not have the right to dictate to me when I can and cannot see him when visitation rights are clearly laid out in the custody agreement.
     
  9. 00600

    00600 New Member

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    Make sure you get everything in writing, taking a child across state lines can be considered kidnapping reguardless of "verbal" agreements.
     
  10. ahtnamas

    ahtnamas OT Supporter

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    Way to fight over a kid like a hunk of meat or piece of furniture.

    You're going to screw you kid up for life with this stuff. Why do parents fail to realize this? He's going to see you moving as you abandoning him. He's going to see you fight over him like he's an object. Do you really want your kid growing up feeling that way?
     
  11. noradninja

    noradninja New Member

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    Way to make judegmental statements without knowledge of the details and facts of the situation. Tell me, do you have kids? What would YOU do if you were in a position where you had to be apart from them? Wouldn't YOU want to ensure your ability to at least spend a FAIR amount of time with them?

    I DO NOT see my son as an object or a piece of furniture. IF that was the case, I would drag his mother thru court and fight her till I died to take him away from her, wether I was right in doing so or not.

    I am just trying to make sure that my RIGHTS to see him are protected, so that he can have his father in his life. ANY parent who loved their child would do the same. TELL ME I AM WRONG.
     
  12. noradninja

    noradninja New Member

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    Well, being that neither of us can take him across state lines without written consent from the other parent (terms of the divorce decree/parenting contract), I sure will.
     

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