SRS divorce.. =(

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by desichic123, Jul 11, 2006.

  1. desichic123

    desichic123 New Member

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    my parents have been married for 25 years and my parents never had a love relationship bc it was an arranged marriage so it was more about being comfortable with one another.

    anyways, recently my dad had been staying out later at work, spending more time with his friends, and sleeping on the sofa at nites (and i know hes not having an affair or anything)..at first, i didnt think anything of it until my mom cried to me about it about 3 days ago. since my mom and dad dont have much communication b/w them, i confronted my father last nite and asked why he wasnt coming home, etc. he basically told me he was thinking of divorcing my mom bc he was unhappy and felt like he would literally die if he stayed with her. and i was totally crushed when i heard this.

    at around 3am this morning, i heard my mom begging my dad to sleep in the bedroom and he was pushing her away telling her he couldnt stay with her, etc. and my mom freaked out and started sobbing bc this whole thing really did seem to come out of nowhere. i tried reasoning with my dad about this, but he seems like this is the only way. he basically said he feels stressed coming home and he just wants to be alone and be peaceful.

    now i dont know what to do..im totally crushed and upset..everytime i come home i cry and my mom was one of those dependent wives, so if my dad really does leave, i dont know what that would do to her. right now, i hate my dad, i feel like hes being ridiculously insensitive about this..he decided to tell me all this 2 wks before my 21st bday and right before my last yr of college..i dont know how my mom would take care of herself or anything. divorce is definitely an unknown and somewhat taboo topic in the indian culture, bc once u get arranged with someone, u stay with them forever; so this feels especially hard for me, bc i never wouldve thought this would happen in a million years. im sorry that this is so long..i just wanted to vent and get it out.
     
  2. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    I know this is very difficult, but you need to realize as best as possible that #1 this isn't your journey, your fault your really your business and #2 your father needs his space his happiness and a chance to find himself, especially if he had pressures on him to be in something he was unsure of prier...

    Respect him and love him for his choice, support him in his time of turmoil, your mother will be okay, this may force her to find love for herself again, I know this is very difficult, but they WILL figure it out...... hang in there, they both love you.

    My g/f and I just went sperate ways, she came from a Sikh household with an abusive father and a dependant mother... the mother was miserable and so was the father, dependancy is never a good idea, and unfortunately ancient INDIAN cultural ideologies havn't changed fast enough to encompass todays new needs, ideas and pace of living... Even ancient religious texts or ways of eastern thought couldn't most often compete with 'tradition' as often illogical as it may have be now, it was practical thousands of years ago.

    Hang in there, everything will be alright, have faith now... both of your parents have their personal journies, they need to find 'themselves' they do not owe one another anything, except respect love and freedom.
     
  3. capcom_7

    capcom_7 OT Supporter

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    what is your nationality?
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well this is one of the consequenses when you forcefully put people together who officially might never even have cared for eachother. That you are a direct victim of these consequenses is more then unfortunate. This is why people have free will , so that they don't have to be forced into situations they do not want to be in, such forcefull actions can lead to unhappyness,depression and darkness into someone's lives. In this case into all of your lives.

    You shouldn't hate your dad, because he was forced into something he didn't want. I would keep supporting and loving your dad, and try to respect the choices that he makes. If a man asks for to be let in peace, then its of outmost importance that you and your mom let him be. If he gets enough time he will most likely make a decision that is best for all of you.
     
  5. desichic123

    desichic123 New Member

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    im asian indian
     

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