SRS Disowning my cousin.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ameter, Jan 8, 2007.

  1. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    I've been a tenant of my aunt for over three years now. She has six boys, one of whom was the one who bought the house and rented it out (he had her be the landlord). Last year he got married and moved out, and one of the other ones moved in.

    This one (Dan) is an asshole. He continually insults me and my family, because we arent as wealthy as his family. He works out of town, so he comes back a couple of times a month, messes up the place, doesn't clean up, and then tells his mom (my landlord) that we're trashing the place and its a mess.

    Due to this, she's given us (me and my roomate) notice to move out.

    He came back today, and walked around the house with his shoes on, tracking mud all over the place. I came home to a mudcovered house. When he came in tonight, I confronted him, and he told me i'd have to fight him if I wanted him to clean it up. I called my aunt, and she told me it was too dirty for him to take his shoes off, and effectively gave him permission to continue.

    Meanwhile, he continues to get more belligerent, secure in the knowledge that I wont beat him up because he's my cousin, and then tells me to go to my room because he wants to watch a movie with Max (my roomate). He then tells me that my dad is trash, and I'm just like him, and that he's glad I'm gone.

    I figure that my best recourse here is to tell my aunt that I will not be attending any functions where he will be present, and that since he got these ideas about my dad and my family from somewhere, that I must consider that they hold the same opinion of myself and my family, and that I do not wish to continue associating with people who think of myself such.

    This comes at an especially frustrating time, as I recently went back to where I used to live as a kid, and ran into a bunch of people I used to know, all of which have degenerated (theyre now into drugs, drunks, etc), so I closed that book of my life also last night.
     
  2. Mogul

    Mogul New Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2006
    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    Can you move into an apartment?
     
  3. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    I'm already looking for a new place. The rental market is tight as shit though. We actually have a negative vacancy rate in the city.
     
  4. Mogul

    Mogul New Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2006
    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    I live in a place that is fairly cheap so I guess I take that for granted. Still my advice is stop throwing money at this guy by renting from him.
     
  5. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    i think you missed the part about we've already been given notice, and this guy isn't the landlord
     
  6. Mogul

    Mogul New Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2006
    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sorry I thought that Dan got the house from the one who got married my bad.
     
  7. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2002
    Messages:
    19,344
    Likes Received:
    12
    He will get his. dont give it to him, just realise his is coming.

    If he acts like that to his own blood, he acts worse to those outside of the family.
     
  8. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    thoughts on saying goodbye to the rest of the family?
     
  9. unorthadox

    unorthadox New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2006
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    another excuse
    Don't let your emotions get the best of you yet. Living in that place is better than living in a soup kitchen or on the street, and that is not as far fetched as you'd think in the crazy housing market of Calgary.

    Good news: the market is on a decline and the prices will soon be affordable, you can show that you are "above" him in all levels, your kids will learn a lesson that character isn't about what you do, but how you do it.

    Bad news: you gotta tough it out with him for a bit.

    Notice I didn't mention anything about disowning them.. this is your personal choice, do what you feel is right. Put yourself in his shoes first though.
     
  10. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    Well, tonight he came home, and it started up again. Ended with him grabbing my throat and trying to choke me, and me punching him the head to break the hold. He backed off and then left the house, dunno where he went to.

    The bright side is, I found a place today, a nice house, really close to the university, rent almost the same as what I was paying already.
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    If i where you id secretly video tape how he trashes the house, then show it to a pleasantly suprised aunty ethel who the real amokmaker has been. If she sees those images Dan is bound to be in trouble. After taping ask your aunt not to tell Dan that you showed her the video.
     
  12. darnit

    darnit New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2005
    Messages:
    397
    Likes Received:
    0
    Tape him being and asshole. Move out. Punch the shit out of him.. and go on with your life. While family is important, your well being ,mental ,physical, and emotional is more important.
    As long as your direct family knows the truth, who gives a shit what the rest of them say and think.
    But I would seriously provoke him again, and the minute he touches me, I would pound the living shit out of him and then call the police.
    He intiated an attack.
     
  13. cd7

    cd7 how troublesome

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2005
    Messages:
    1,860
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    screwston
    wow, i must admit you handled it like a bigger man. if anyone ever talked to me like that with that much disrespect, towards me or my family, id beat his ass down and then disown him
     
  14. ixero

    ixero New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    435
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia
    What a cunt.
    I don't think you can get out of there soon enough.
    I'd be very tempted take revenge but you're better off just moving out and never seeing them again. Unless it's a function with free food and they're paying.
     
  15. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    My plan is to beat his ass down hard if he tries any more shit. I've reached the point where, family or no, i'll kick his ass.

    I called the police and had them file a report about it, so hopefully I have some legal backup should anything happen (as in, if it comes to a my word vs. his as to who started it)

    As for the rest of his family, once I'm moved out and my stuff is no longer at risk from his family, I'll go have a sit down with his mom/dad and whoever's there, tell them what happened, my opinion on the matter, and that I don't intend to ever see or deal with them again, and then leave.
     
  16. SpaMan

    SpaMan Mind over matter.

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2001
    Messages:
    644
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    IL
    That's rough. You really have to wonder what causes people to become like this. Especially people that are well off and have 'everything going for them.' Was he ignored or abused as a kid or what? That's some sad shit to hear. I'd pity this guy more than anything.
     
  17. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    No, he got everything he could possibly ask for, and then some.
     
  18. SpaMan

    SpaMan Mind over matter.

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2001
    Messages:
    644
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    IL
    My only guess as to help counter this situation, is to completely ignore him. Insist on ignoring his negative instigations. Perhaps even be kind where it's not deserved. It might hit him like a brick, as no doubt he enjoys this anger that he recieves, this attention that he incites in the people he stomps all over. Show him that no matter what he does, he has no effect on you, and he will find another target. A classic sociopath by the sounds of it.

    Or perhaps explain to him in a kind manner that the way he acts and treats people hurts them and ask him why he does these things? A simple cordial conversation with him, in a diplomatic matter. And if he cannot do that, then he certainly has a long life ahead of him.
     
  19. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    Last time I tried to speak to him civilly, it ended with him trying to choke me.

    I'll ignore him, if he comes after me again, I'll put him down then call the cops and press charges.
     
  20. Brian May

    Brian May New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2002
    Messages:
    18,774
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pa
    This cousin of yours sounds like every other spoilt brat I've met along the road of life. Karma will own him big time, just give it time. You've handled this situation like a mature adult, you should be proud of yourself.
     

Share This Page